Grief dares us to love once more.
Terry Tempest Williams
I cry over the pain of my past, but feel great joy and hope for the my future. She is out there somewhere in this big world, I just don’t know where she could be. She is the one my path has moved me toward my whole life. All the pain and heartache I have experienced has been to appreciate her when I find her; to be able to love her with all my being when she is before me. She might be anywhere, any country, any town, but I know she’s out there. The greatest love of my life is somewhere on this Earth, I am certain of it. But I won’t find her here in comfort wallowing in money and comfort. I must give up much of what has been in order to find what could be. I have to go search the world to find her before I run out of time. James Browning 10 29 2012
I wrote that eight months ago and found it again last night. While the thinking rings clear and true, I can’t remember specifically what was the catalyst. Maybe it was just a wanting thought thrown out to the cosmos hoping for its echo back to me.
The only worry that flies around me once in a while like a determined mosquito is a concern that I won’t recognize “her” should she appear. What if “she” is already around and I am missing it? Most such quandaries have been freed in the spirit of ‘what will be, will be’. All I can do is my best to let go, live in the moment and embrace life as it unfolds. Living ‘now’ well is the surest path to a recent past I am pleased with and a future that more closely matches my hopes and dreams.
There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must of felt what it is to die… that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life. Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, ‘Wait and Hope”. Alexandre Duman
Whether my destiny is to only know searching or to walk through true love’s gate again, I am grateful for the contentment the possibility alone brings: a dream; a real dream that could become true. I am grateful to have the courage to free myself and seek what I hope for. Hallelujah!
Even now, all possible feelings do not yet exist,
there are still those that lie beyond our capacity
and our imagination. From time to time,
when a piece of music no one has ever written
or a painting no one has ever painted,
or something else impossible to predict,
fathom or yet describe takes place,
a new feeling enters the world. And then,
for the millionth time in the history of feeling,
the heart surges and absorbs the impact.
From “The History of Love” by Nicole Krauss