When I step back a bit and take a broadened view I can see stirred into my thinking is not only what I consider completely rational. “Perception of future lack”, “conspicuous consumption” and even “low level greed” is mixed in as well. Ouch, that hurts!
Since writing those words here yesterday they’ve echoed in my thoughts consistently. When that occurs it’s obvious a lesson is being taught; a teaching sent is being chewed slowly by my psyche to get the most emotional nutrients possible.
“Want” and I are well acquainted. We’re old friends and long-standing enemies. It’s the split-apart nature of “wanting” that has been my problem. It’s like being tied between two wild horses pulling in opposite directions.
Connecting the points has been a help: accepting it is healthy to want and harmful to let uncontrolled want take control. Life is lived between the two much like standing on top of a small, narrow mountain. All is well if I keep my footing sure, but lose it and I go tumbling down. Deeply rooted in my ego, want and desire are always present and constantly pulling. Awareness helps me keep them under control.
Our frustration is greater when we have much and want more than when we have nothing and want some. We are less dissatisfied when we lack many things than when we seem to lack but one thing. Eric Hoffer
That’s how it is with want. As long as you lack something you yearn for it without cease. if only I could have that one thing, you tell yourself, all my problems would be solved. But once you get it, once the object of your desires is thrust into your hands, it begins to lose its charm. Other wants assert themselves, other desires make themselves felt, and bit by bit you discover that you’re right back where you started. Paul Auster
Want is my ally. Want is my adversary. Doing my best to live a life balanced between the two is where peace and gratitude multiply.
Be not wishing and pining,
but thankfully content.
For it is a short bridge
between wanting and regret.
Richelle E. Goodrich