When you really want something,
Sometimes you have to swim a little deeper.
You can’t give up,
Just because things don’t come easy.
You have to overcome the obstacles,
And face your fears.
But in the end,
It’s all worth while.
Life is full of ups and downs,
But if you believe in yourself,
You will always be okay.
Through love and faith,
Never underestimate you.
Believe in yourself.
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Dealing with difficult things has usually not be something I’ve avoided, except in matters of the heart. Within the realms of romantic love and loving myself, fear has often been my master and mistress. Fearfulness ruled my actions and inaction. Emotional addiction and dysfunction brought unfaithfulness to my own beliefs and standards. Literally and figuratively I was barely enough of a ‘swimmer’ to survive.

But I did stay ‘afloat’. I endured and am better for the experiences and knowledge grief, heartache and pain brought. For a long time the teaching that life kept showing me over and over did not register. The so fully human practice of doing the same thing repeatedly with the same unwanted result was long mine.

Ever so slowly the ups and downs carved a new faith within me.  “What does not kill you makes you better”. I began to love the person I had become in spite of whatever I had done in the past (or not done). Not every moment of each day am I content and loving to myself, but the majority of the time I am. That feels like a ‘miracle’ compared to where I once was. Once my heart became open to loving “me”, it began to find room to better house and protect love of all kinds.

In thinking I was less than I became less than. With thoughts that I couldn’t, came impossibility. Believing a small amount opened the way for me to believe a lot. Allowing a little self-love over time opened space for more self-respect, self-care and plenty of room to love others.

Like turning a speeding train, it took a long wide span of time and space to turn into a different direction. Through the example and love of a few others, I learned to begin caring for myself. I found hope. My future is now gratefully filled with possibilities far beyond the grasp of what I once believed.

If you celebrate your differentness, the world will, too.
It believes exactly what you tell it
through the words you use to describe yourself,
the actions you take to care for yourself,
and the choices you make to express yourself.
Tell the world you are one-of-a-kind creation
who came here to experience wonder and spread joy.
Expect to be accommodated.
From “Lit From Within: Tending Your Soul For Lifelong Beauty”
by Victoria Moran,