Month: July 2012

A Genuinely “Good Guy”

/ James Browning

Mr. Rogers came onto television in my late teens so in my childhood he was unnoticed. Later watching “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood” with my son during his younger years I gained respect for Fred Roger’s work.

Fred McFeely Rogers was not just a TV personality but also a Presbyterian minister, song writer, child activist and author in addition to being a good role model. For 895 episodes his show was on PBS spanning over three decades. He was a genuinely “good guy” who swam every morning, was a vegetarian and never smoked or drank. In memory, one of his trademark sweaters is on display at the Smithsonian.

I ran into a man by chance in public yesterday who was soft-spoken with a similar voice and demeanor to Mr. Rogers who stuck in my head since. What has kept flopping around mentally is the start of the show where Fred sang his “Won’t You Be My Neighbor” as he changed into his trademark sweater and deck shoes. You know how some harmlessly inane song can get stuck in your head and won’t go away? Well, this tribute to Mr. Rogers is being done with respect in hope “It’s a beautiful day in this neighborhood” gets unstuck from my mind.

I will always remember Mr. Rogers a truly gentle soul who devoted 50 years of his life to educating and bettering the lives of children. As far as I know he only had good intentions and was never marred by intrigue or wrong doing. I hope that always remains true as all of us are kids inside and need examples like Fred Rogers. I am grateful my son brought him and his message that “we’re all special” into my life.

You can make believe it happens,
Or pretend that something’s true.
You can wish or hope or contemplate
A think you’d like to do.
But until you start to do it,
You will never see it through
‘Cause the make-believe pretending
Just won’t do it for you.

You’ve got to do it. Every little big.
You’ve got to do it, do it, do it.
And when you’re through,
You can know who did it,
For you did it, you did it, you did it.

It’s not easy to keep trying
But it’s one good way to grow.
It’s not easy to keep learning,
But I know that this is so:
When you’re tried and learned,
You’re bigger than you were a day ago.
It’s not easy to keep trying,
But it’s one way to grow.

From the song “You’ve Got to Do It” by Fred Rogers

“As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has – or ever will have – something inside that is unique to all time. It’s out job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression”. Fred Rogers

Peebles and Grains of Sand

/ James Browning

Every day I change the world. We all do. Not often in big ways, but constantly in small, at first glance relatively unmeaning ways.

If in traffic on my way to work someone cuts me off, I can honk making sure they see while I shake my fist and show my displeasure with a hand gesture. Or I can just let it go with a thought about the apparent emptiness in a person’s life who can so easily mistreat another. What did I send into the world? In refraining from not making a thoughtless person even more so at least I did not make matters worse for all he/she comes in contact with!

Riding the elevator up to my office I can choose to stand in the corner silently while the other passenger stands solemn and seemingly lost in thought. I can leave him/her to arrive at work with that apathetic guise to exhibit to co-workers. Or I can smile, say some innocuous like “good morning, sure is hot out isn’t it?”. Maybe they will smile or maybe they won’t, but will go into their day knowing a stranger at least noticed their existence.

During my lunch break I can take the time to call a friend who is having a difficult time and by showing I care lighten their load a little. Their day will be a little better and quite possibly so will anyone’s who comes in contact with them.

I know such thoughts may sound a little “namby pamby” at first, but everything I do (everything you do) sends a tiny wave into the world like pebbles dropped into a lake. Collectively a million pebbles dropped near the same time can create a tidal wave.

A smile, a kind word, a thoughtful expression, a caring act are each one nothing earth-shattering, but such things do matter. Am I being hokey, simplistic and naive?  Possibly and if so that’s just fine.  The world could use a little more of that and a bit less grit and reality!  In small ways separately and collectively we ALL affect the world around us every day.

What is considerably more meaningful is that I witness everything I do or say. How do my actions make me feel? When I do the right thing, when I exercise restraint, thoughtfulness or consideration I feel good. When the lessons learned well from past mistakes show themselves positively I am proud of myself. Those little positive bits and pieces are gifts I give myself specifically and to the world generally. 

I am grateful for starting my morning with the thought that more than any other factor how I act today will determine how I feel at the end of it. There’s a real opportunity to make a positive contribution to the world, although admittedly small, but meaningful just the same. Little things we all do, good or bad, accumulate to total something significant much like grains of sand can create a beach.

“All ye Poets of the Age!
All ye Witlings of the Stage!
Learn your Jingles to reform!
Crop your Numbers and Conform:
Let your little Verses flow
Gently, Sweetly, Row by Row:
Let the Verse the Subject fit;
Little Subject, Little Wit.
From “Namby Pamby” by Henry Carey

If Only…

/ James Browning

At this point in my life I am aligned with no particular religion, but am open to what I perceive to be the best that each has to teach. My beliefs, morals and ethics are my own unique combination of western and eastern followings, some current and some ancient. There are many great leaders in many walks of life I can learn from such as the following words of a Hindu teacher of the “Vedanta” named Pujya Guruji Swami Tejomayananda.

All of us seek happiness and we want to be happy. But our happiness is always dependent on objects, beings and places. IF I get such-n-such a thing, or IF a particular thing happens in my life, or IF I become this-n-this, THEN I will be happy.

We all want happiness now, and want it to be forever. There is an inherent contradiction here. I want happiness and I want it now, in the present moment. If I always say IF such a thing happens, or IF I go somewhere, IF I will be happy… our happiness is projected in the future.

Simply stated, our happiness is never in the action, but in the result of an action… Every action will produce a particular result, but here I put a condition – I will be happy only IF it produces such-n-such a conditional result. So happiness is always in the future, even thought I want to be happy now. What a contradiction!

We always prepare for happiness, or we pretend to be happy. When we finally get something we’ve wanted for a long time, are you happy now that you have acquired it? “You were craving it for a long time, are you happy now that you have acquired it?” they ask. You feel compelled to say “yes”, sometimes reluctantly. You have to say yes!

One secret of happiness is to enjoy the action. Enjoy the action itself; discover the joy in every little thing. Enjoy the opening of eyes, listening to something, ability to see, touch, hear, feel, everything is wonderful. There is really nothing to complain (about). There is benefit in everything – even in being bald. No combing of the hair required. Someone asked a 103-year old lady “what is the benefit of being 103 years old?” “There is no peer pressure” she replied.

Today I can gratefully say I am the happiest I have ever been. While far from feeling happy all the time, my ability to know contentment increases as I am able to accept things as they are, appreciate what happens in my life (good and bad) and remain open to a power beyond my singular self.

Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued,
is always beyond our grasp,
but, if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.
Nathaniel Hawthorne

Full article at http://cmdfwmedia.org/resources/Files/Pursuit%20Of%20Happiness.pdf

Musing to Discovery

/ James Browning

This morning poking around for inspiration Icame across the following dictionary definitions for “gratitude”:

– a feeling of thankfulness, appreciation, admiration, approval or gratefulness

– warm and friendly acknowledgment of a benefit one has received or will receive

– kindness awakened by a favor received; thankfulness

– sensitive awareness and recognition of aesthetic values

Then my surfing to be inspired brought me to the root of the English word ‘gratitude’. Its origin is in the Latin word ‘gratis’ or ‘gratus’. 

As I read further something very interesting came my way. ‘Gratis/gratus’ is also the origin of the French word ‘gracier’  which was adapted to become the English word ‘grace’. Literal definitions of ‘grace’ are:  kindliness, love, mercy and elegance; beauty of form, manner, motion, or action; pleasing quality or favor.  Sounds exactly like a sense of gratefulness!

I found it surprisingly meaningful that the words gratitude and grace have the same origin and are essentially parts of the same emotion. That makes perfect sense! As I have focused on gratefulness and my awareness has grown for all I have to be thankful for, a sense of “grace” arrived with it.

My discovery can be stated simply: a life filled with grace comes from a foundation of gratefulness. Religion frequently connects the two words together, but I had never considered how in a secular sense gratitude and grace are interwoven.

Focusing on what I am grateful for and spending time writing about it daily for fifteen months has been a life changer; more so than I could have ever imagined when I began this blog. Previously I perceived my life as probably about a “6” on a “10” scale and today can tell you without hesitation I’d rate living around at an “8.0” or better. There are moments from time to time I’d rate at a 10 plus!

My life is far from perfect. While my work in recovery from dysfunctions like codependence, depression and compulsion has brought me to a generally happy state of being, there are still challenges and difficult times. What has changed is my ability to deal with those moments and how long they last. I believe that capacity comes directly from the state of ‘grace’ that sprouted purely from growing gratefulness within.

Grace is the central invitation to life and the final word.
It’s the beckoning nudge and the overwhelming,
undeserved mercy that urges us to change and grow,
and then gives us the power to pull it off.
Tim Hansel

A Small Change of Perspective

/ James Browning

Last year here in Oklahoma many record high temperature records were set. This year is shaping up to be another record summer with heat frequently above 100. All across the country people are bearing unusually hot temps.  The overly warm days is just about everyone’s favorite thing to grumble about. My gratitude for my air conditioning is at an all time high!

Sometimes a small change of perspective can alter one’s thinking and mood. I found the following images to attempt that for me before I head out into the heat this morning. 

The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event.
J. B. Priestley

The future lies before you, like paths of pure white snow.
Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.
Anonymous

There is nothing in the world more beautiful than the forest
clothed to its very hollows in snow.
It is the still ecstasy of nature, wherein every spray,
every blade of grass, every spire of reed,
every intricacy of twig, is clad with radiance.”
William Sharp

There is nothing in the world more beautiful
than the forest clothed to its very hollows in snow.
It is the still ecstasy of nature, wherein every spray,
every blade of grass, every spire of reed,
every intricacy of twig, is clad with radiance.”
William Sharp

 Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating;
there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.”
John Ruskin

Just a few simple photographs of snow, winter, cold and fun are enough to shift my perspective this morning.  I am grateful!  Before I know it, winter will be here and my wishes will be for a hot day like today. 

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their ending.
J.R.R. Tolkien

All You Hope For and More

/ James Browning

Continuing my “Staycation”, today I am taking a day off!

Here’s three favorite sayings and images to fill the space here today:

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint on it you can.
Danny Kaye

It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool,
than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Dr. Wayne S. Amato

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of someone else.
Judy Garland

I hope today is filled with all you hope for and more…
and that you are grateful for all that comes your way.

A Day to Dream

/ James Browning

It’s easy to forget how much I enjoy a day off from work during the week. What for many was a one day holiday on July 4th, I chose to use vacation time and craft a five-day, stay at home weekend. Although not yet contained in MSWord’s spellchecker, it was a surprise to find the word ‘staycation’ has made its way into American dictionaries: a vacation spent at one’s home enjoying all that home and one’s home environs have to offer.

Staycation days are especially good when I don’t fill them up with projects and stuff to do. Being one who is somewhat hooked on activity, it’s healthy to slow down from my usual busy-ness addiction. The only plans I have is to drive with a friend to a nearby city one day to visit a mutual comrade, be true to my intentions to catch up on sleep (eleven hours last night!) and to spent some time outside.

Let us put awhile away
All the cares of work-a-day,
For a golden time forget,
Task and worry, toil and fret,
Let us take a day to dream
In the meadow by the stream.

We may linger as we will
In the sunset valleys still,
Till the gypsy shadows creep
From the starlit land of sleep,
And the mist of evening gray
Girdles round our pilgrim way.

We may bring to work again
Courage from the tasselled glen,
Bring a strength unfailing won
From the paths of cloud and sun,
And the wholesome zest that springs
From all happy, growing things.

From “A Day Off” by Lucy Maud Montgomery,
a Canadian author best known for a series of novels
that began with Anne of Green Gables published in 1908.

Richly decadent is one shade of my feeling within at this moment. Unshaven for two days, I sit here writing at a time I would normally be piloting a desk and driving a computer at work. All in all, I am more grateful than usual simply because I am taking time to relish being alive.

The best cure for an off day is a day off.
Frank Tyge

Independence Day Declaration of Gratitude

/ James Browning

Each year, the United States celebrates its decision to declare independence from Great Britain on July 4, 1776. “Independence Day” established the United States of America as a new country.  Until 1776, the U.S. was a collection of colonies and territories under the rule of several different nations. France, England, Spain and Denmark all held territory throughout the new world. The Northeastern seaboard of the Atlantic Ocean was largely controlled by the British, who divided the land into thirteen separate colonies of the British Empire.

After decades of British rule and being subject to British taxes, citizens of the colonies grew eager for a new government. Unlike the monarchy in Britain, The United States would be ruled by elected officials and devote itself to the rights of the people. Powerful representatives of the colonies joined together in the Second Continental Congress, and drafted a document announcing their independence from Britain. At this point, the American Revolutionary War was well under way, and the resulting Declaration of Independence was really more of a formality as colonial forces were already fighting the British throughout the colonies.

My country is far from perfect, but it is my home that I love.  I am grateful to be a citizen of the United States of America!

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4,
not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers
who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle,
but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees,
the potato salad gets iffy,and the flies die from happiness.
You may think you have over-eaten, but it is patriotism.
Erma Bombeck

Blog from last year on the 4th of July, 2012:  https://goodmorninggratitude.com/2011/07/04/235th-anniversary-of-our-declaration-of-independence-4th-of-july-2011/

Hope and New Ways of Being

/ James Browning

In my time I have come to life on two separate occasions: the day of my physical birth and the moment I was ‘reborn’ emotionally. The former was when as a baby I came into the world and the latter was when I woke up and became psychologically self-aware about five years ago. At both times I was barely functional, but each was a grand beginning.

My second birth occurred when I got into recovery for codependence and depression as I accepted both were conditions of my being. Over and over, like a baby I have learned to do things through repetition, growing a tiny amount each day. There is yet much to learn and experience in ways I never could have before. Life is filled with possibility, hope and new experiences.

There are many things I don’t know, but quite a few I do.
I know you can’t be lost if you know where you are.
I know that life is full of precious and fragile things,
and not all of them are pretty.
I know that the sun follows the moon
and makes days, one after another.
Time passes. The world turns, and we turn with it,
and though we can never go back to the beginning,
sometimes, we can start again.
Megan Hart

Today when all is considered, I’m probably about fourteen years old emotionally which is a far cry from the “wailing baby” I was for many years. Truly the child within is growing up emotionally now. The pain to get here is something I hope never comes again, but for the result I will be continually grateful for the rest of my days.

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur
when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.
For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort,
that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching
for different ways or truer answers.
M. Scott Peck

Upright and Out in the World

/ James Browning

It feels as if the new week has come at least a day too early for me this week. However, Monday has arrived whether I am ready for it or not. The clock is ticking away the time so it’s best if I embrace and enjoy it! Here are two thoughts I have picked to head into my day with.

The most beautiful people we have known
are those who have known defeat,
known suffering,
known struggle,
known loss,
and have found their way out of the depths.
These persons have an appreciation,
a sensitivity, and an understanding of life
that fills them with compassion, gentleness,
and a deep loving concern.
Beautiful people do not just happen.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. 
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. 
For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day. 
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. 
People, more than things, have to be restored,
renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you will find one at the end of each of your arms. 
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands,
one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.
Sam Levenson 

My preference is to still be in bed, but that’s a tad of  laziness within talking to me. Life is boring and predictable while sleeping with existence only present in my imagination. Nothing really happens then. Living goes on when I am upright and out in the world. So here I go. I’m grateful for the optimism and inspiration I find in the two thoughts above that motivate me to pick myself up and move on into my day even if at first I don’t want to. It is far from rare to find some of the best of life in something I hesitated to embrace or at first did not want to do.

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
Spanish Proverb