In my time I have come to life on two separate occasions: the day of my physical birth and the moment I was ‘reborn’ emotionally. The former was when as a baby I came into the world and the latter was when I woke up and became psychologically self-aware about five years ago. At both times I was barely functional, but each was a grand beginning.
My second birth occurred when I got into recovery for codependence and depression as I accepted both were conditions of my being. Over and over, like a baby I have learned to do things through repetition, growing a tiny amount each day. There is yet much to learn and experience in ways I never could have before. Life is filled with possibility, hope and new experiences.
There are many things I don’t know, but quite a few I do.
I know you can’t be lost if you know where you are.
I know that life is full of precious and fragile things,
and not all of them are pretty.
I know that the sun follows the moon
and makes days, one after another.
Time passes. The world turns, and we turn with it,
and though we can never go back to the beginning,
sometimes, we can start again.
Today when all is considered, I’m probably about fourteen years old emotionally which is a far cry from the “wailing baby” I was for many years. Truly the child within is growing up emotionally now. The pain to get here is something I hope never comes again, but for the result I will be continually grateful for the rest of my days.
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur
when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.
For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort,
that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching
for different ways or truer answers.
M. Scott Peck