13 Rules

landscapes%20sun%20trees%20farms%202560x1600%20wallpaper_wallpaperswa_com_8813 Rules of Life

    1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
    2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.
    3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are, “I apologize” and “you are right.”
    4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
    6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her – believe them.
    7. Learn to pick your battles; Ask yourself, “Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?”
    8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
    9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
    10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
    11. Work is good, but it’s not that important. Money is nice, but you can’t take it, or anything else, with you. Statistics show most people don’t live to spend all they saved; Some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn’t really ours; we just borrow it while we’re here… even our kids.
    12. Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
    13. If you are going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you may as well laugh about it now.
      http://www.greaterhorizons.com/13rulesoflife.html

The manner the “13 Rules…” was written is amusing and hangs a smile on some good “old-fashioned” advise. I have printed out two copies, one for home and another for work, and will hang them up plain sight.  There’s nothing new in the list of rules. I am not asked to do many things I don’t already know. It’s the doing of what I already know that makes the difference. I am grateful to be reminded!

Some people drift through their entire life.
They do it one day at a time,
one week at a time, one month at a time.
It happens so gradually they are unaware
of how their lives are slipping away until it’s too late.
Mary Kay Ash

Six Little Things

find-cheaper-beverag_1371Having focus and good intentions has proven to have significant effect on the quality of my life. When I walk into a day with specific things to try to do better, even managing to improve just a little gives a sense of satisfaction. Here on a Monday, with that in mind I go into my work-day with six little things to keep top of mind.

1. Be focused outwardly and actively observe the outside world I see during my morning and evening commute.

2. When I get to work, open up my office then walk around and say hello to everyone.

3. Take a ten minute break late morning and mid-afternoon. Get up from my desk and walk around.

4. Leave the office for lunch and eat something I like that is good for me.

5. Prioritize and do what needs to be done today. Then go home on time.

6. Try to listen a little more and talk a little less.

At the end of the day, it may be apparent that I did well at keeping all six top of mind in my behavior. Or my results may be small because I lose focus through the day. No matter. Good intention and even small successes at living better always lend a positive result. I am grateful for the inspiration to try.

If your daily life seems poor,
do not blame it;
blame yourself,
tell yourself that
you are not poet enough
to call forth its riches;
for to the creator
there is no poverty
and no poor indifferent place.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Keep Practicing the Art of Living

viktor-franklIn a little more than two weeks we arrive upon the 108th anniversary of birth for Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, Dr. Viktor Emil Frankl, MD, PhD (March 26, 1905 – September 2, 1997). I did not read his renowned work “Man’s Search for Meaning” until about ten years and remember vividly how that little book stunned me with its simplicity and wisdom. In honor of the man and the teachings he left behind, what is just below is taken from an article published in the New York Times on the day Dr. Frankl died sixteen years ago.

Viktor Frankl’s mother, father, brother and pregnant wife were all killed in the camps. He lost everything, he said, that could be taken from a prisoner, except one thing: ”the last of the human freedoms, to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Every day in the camps, he said, prisoners had moral choices to make about whether to submit internally to those in power who threatened to rob them of their inner self and their freedom. It was the way a prisoner resolved those choices, he said, that made the difference.

In ”Man’s Search for Meaning,” Dr. Frankl related that even at Auschwitz some prisoners were able to discover meaning in their lives — if only in helping one another through the day — and that those discoveries were what gave them the will and strength to endure.

After their arrival at Auschwitz, they and 1,500 others were put into a shed built for 200 and made to squat on bare ground, each given one four-ounce piece of bread to last them four days. On his first day, Dr. Frankl was separated from his family; later he and a friend marched in line, and he was directed to the right and his friend was directed to he left — to a crematory.

As their illusions dropped away and their hopes were crushed, they would watch others die without experiencing any emotion. At first the lack of feeling served as a protective shield. But then, he said, many prisoners plunged with surprising suddenness into depressions so deep that the sufferers could not move, or wash, or leave the barracks to join a forced march; no entreaties, no blows, no threats would have any effect. There was a link, he found, between their loss of faith in the future and this dangerous giving up.

”We had to learn ourselves, and furthermore we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us,” he wrote. ”We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life but instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life, daily and hourly.

”Our answer must consist not in talk and medication, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.”

Prisoners taught one another not to talk about food where starvation was a daily threat, to hide a crust of bread in a pocket to stretch out the nourishment. They were urged to joke, sing, take mental photographs of sunsets and, most important, to replay valued thoughts and memories. Dr. Frankl said it was ”essential to keep practicing the art of living, even in a concentration camp.” By Holcomb B. Noble http://www.nytimes.com/1997/09/04/world/dr-viktor-e-frankl-of-vienna-psychiatrist-of-the-search-for-meaning-dies-at-92.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

When difficulty comes, I try to remember the insights Dr. Frankl left for us distilled in his quote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’. Dr. Frankl’s book, has been deeply meaningful to me and millions of others. I am grateful he left the world a better place than he found it.

Being tolerant does not mean
that I share another ones belief.
But it does mean I acknowledge
another ones right to believe,
and obey, his own conscience.
Victor E. Frankl

Live In the Layers, Not On the Litter

59325Six hundred and fifty-seven days I have been here to post a thought, a photo or a borrowed contemplation about gratitude. Through business travel, vacations and even illness my faithfulness to my self-assigned daily task never wavered for over a year and nine months. Until yesterday… when travel problems invaded my unbroken string.

A return home from a business trip should have allowed arrival in my home city around 4pm, leaving close to eight hours to post a new installment of goodmorninggratitude. What happened instead was landing here at 2:30am the following morning after a long day of flight delays and cancellations. And so, I can not longer say “I haven’t missed a single day in almost two years”. And you know what? I am not bothered by it.

What I now realize is my goal of posting here each day had an element of “look at me”; “look what I can do” contained within. Yes, there was personal satisfaction to consistently post each day and that was the primary driving force (most of the time). But sometimes it was duty that brought words to my screen; that and little else. How long did I need to prove the point to myself that I could do this? A year? A year and a half? Even six months showed I could, but I became ‘hooked’ instead. The realities of life jumped up to teach me, with the greatest of intentions I had let my self assigned duty to post here become a ‘rut’; the very thing I was trying to avoid. As John Lennon wrote “Life is what happens, while you are making other plans”.

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being abides,
from which I struggle not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which the scavenger angels wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind,
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn.
I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered and I roamed through the wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice directed me:
-Live in the layers, not on the litter-
Though I lack the art to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations is already written.
I am not done with my changes.
From “The Collected Poems” by Stanley J. Kunitz

My unbroken string of posts is broken and that’s just fine! It doesn’t bother me although I would have thought it would. Instead, I get a sense of relief knowing that missing a day or two here and there is of no consequence. Another life lesson taught unexpectedly is the subject for my gratitude this morning.

Our brightest blazes of gladness
are commonly kindled
by unexpected sparks.
Samuel Johnson

Patient Teacher

forest starkIt has been said that life is the most patient teacher. You will be presented with the same experience over and over until you learn the best way to deal with the situation. This is not because life is cruel. Rather, it is because things have a way of coming back to haunt us when we don’t deal with them. One form of intelligence is the ability to learn from mistakes. When you are presented with a painful experience, take the time to think about how you can avoid it in the future.

Young, carefree, innocent
You sing, laugh and dance
Taking in all Gods’ glory
At every single chance.

Grown up
You ignore the wonders
that you cherished as a child
Gone is the carefree, honesty and mild.

You walk around with blinders on,
Into the race of money and greed.
Not caring who gets hurt
Just to fulfill your selfish needs.

Stepping over the line of morals
to have wealth and material things
Ignoring all Gods gifts
Like the first rain in Spring

Keep that little child inside!
Hold her close to your heart,
We’re only here for a brief time
Then with this world, we must part.
From “Carefree” by Nordica D. Lindgren

Some days to simply say “I am glad I’m alive” and mean it is the greatest gratitude I can express. “I’m glad I’m alive!”

Saying thank you is more than good manners.
It is good spirituality.
Alfred Painter

My Best Self

uplifting-karen-scovillIn his poem “The Devine Comedy” Dante said the “Seven Deadly Sins” are:

1 – Lust (inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body)
2 – Gluttony (to consume more than that which one requires)
3 – Greed (unreasonable desire for material wealth or gain)
4 – Sloth (great avoidance of physical or spiritual work)
5 – Wrath (anger embraced while spurning love)
6 – Envy (desire for others’ traits, status, abilities, or situation)
7 – Pride (excessive and blind belief in one’s self)

Rare is the person who aspires to such a dark list, although at sometime or another almost all of us fall into practicing items on it. “Don’t do’s” have meaning to me, but not nearly so much as the “Do’s”. In a mirrored reflection of Dante’s “sins” I came up with a list of “virtues” to remember as good sign posts for living:

1 – Love (tender affection for others)
2 – Moderation (using only what a person needs)
3 – Honesty (freedom from deceit or fraud)
4 – Effort (physical or mental exertion of will)
5 – Kindness (a generous and considerate nature)
6 – Contentment (satisfied ease of mind)
7 – Humility (modest view of one’s own importance)

The virtues list gives me ideals to aspire to. I am glad and grateful for a new week that begins with a reminder of what can help me be my best self.

The way of the superior person is threefold;
virtuous, they are free from anxieties;
wise they are free from perplexities;
and bold they are free from fear.
Confucius

Great Wealth of Life

daffodil-bill-wakeleyGrab  your imagination hat and put on your best fantasy shoes.
Dress up in daydreams and set your mind on make-believe.
Then come along with me in a delicate journey of words arranged to inspire.

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed–and gazed–but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
“I, Wander’d Lonely as a Cloud”
by William Wordsworth

memories dock EDITOld favorite memories are treasures carried invisibly inside. There is no one who has the same ones stored away as I do. My memories are mine and mine alone to keep as long as my mind works enough to recall them. The dearest ones don’t fade. Those memories grow more vivid over time, embellished perhaps, but more beautiful just the same.

Just as Wordsworth later remembered seeing “ten thousand daffodils” by a lake when he laid on his couch and daydreamed, I have my own cherished reminiscences. Memories are the great wealth of life. To realize that while I am not too old to remember them is something to be grateful for!

If you have true gratitude,
it will express itself automatically.
It will be visible in your eyes,
around your being, in your aura.
It is like the fragrance of a flower.
In most cases if there is a beautiful flower,
the fragrance will be there naturally.
The flower and its fragrance cannot be separated.
Sri Chinmoy

Innocence Leaves Us Free

2709A friend posted this photo on Facebook last night. I was mesmerized by it. My curiosity to know what the two little girls are looking at is akin to what they must have been feeling when the photograph was made. Apparently they are in a museum’s modern art gallery, but it’s not what’s hanging on the walls that is fascinating the young ones. It’s in solving the mystery of what’s behind the grate.

Unadulterated awe about the mystery of simple things is weak by the time adulthood arrives. Grownups know all too well about what works and what doesn’t, with “too well” being the operative words. In “being big” most forget how to try the impossible and how to absolutely believe in things based only on faith like the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus. We lose the majority of our curiosity and forget how to effectively waste time playing.

In a “Huffington Post” article I found suggestions of “10 Ways to Be a Kid Again”
1. Make a silly face at a stranger. Everyone likes a silly face. I bet you’ll crack someone up.
2. Eat ice cream for dinner. The fun part about being an adult is you can do what you want when you want. We are already aware of our immense responsibilities so for one night let it go.
3. Go to bed early. Some kids hate bedtime, but once they’re down they sleep like rocks. Give yourself a ridiculously early bedtime one night this week.
4. Hang out with your friends. Kids have play dates. Call a pal and actually get together and do something fun like go to the park and play Frisbee.
5. Color or draw something. Coloring brings back memories for most of us. Dig up some of your old coloring books if you can.
6. Try to say the alphabet backwards. Kids are great at crazy tasks. They try with all their might. See how fast you can say it.
7. Have a race. The next time you are walking with a friend race them to the corner. It’s fun to see other adults reacting to spontaneous racing.
8. Skip down the hallways at work. Mid-day sluggish getting to you? Skip to your meeting and you’ll probably brighten up the whole office.
9. Wear what you want. Kids come up with interesting outfits when they’re allowed by their parents to dress themselves. Come up with your own interesting outfit one day this week.
10. Try a handstand. Kids do yoga poses naturally, just for fun. Try a handstand and don’t worry about falling over.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tara-stiles/10-ways-to-be-a-kid-again_b_203831.html

Yes, some of the ten things are not that practical, but who cares. No grades will be given on how well done each one is. I wonder if I’ll break something trying the tenth one; a hand stand! Yet, the child in me wants to attempt it and is already badgering me “Come on Dad, can we try? Please, can we try? Please! Please! You can do it. I’ll show you how.”

I am grateful that voice of the seven-year old boy in me is no longer silent. He spent many years unnoticed and unwanted, but in my recovery, he is recovering too. I love my rediscovered whimsical childish side. Writing that makes me want to buy some finger paint. I don’t think I’ve done that since I was eight!

When we are children we seldom think of the future.
This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves
as few adults can. The day we fret about the future
is the day we leave our childhood behind.
Patrick Rothfuss

When You Wish Upon a Star

Glow-in-the-Dark-Stars-1 copyLeft over from my past is a little white plastic star, the sort that absorbs light and then glows in the dark. It’s about an inch across and about a year ago I stuck it on my ceiling right above where I sleep in my bed. Some years ago I had a whole package of about 50 stars from big to small that filled the “sky” over my bed. Only by accident do I still have the one little star that remains and resides on my ceiling.

Many may think it foolish for a fully grown man to lie in bed approaching sleep looking up at a plastic star above. But I don’t care! It works for me. Even the one remaining star glowing in the night brings me comfort. It awakens a touch of a childlike feeling that anything is possible.

The little star glowing a soft green in the night has been the focal point for my imagination to wander about looking for something to take into my dreams that night. It has given me comfort to look up and find it there night after night; an unchanging constant. The wonder of a child often falls into my psyche laying there near slumber remembering good parts of my childhood with my brother. The future I hope for seems a little more possible when I am there comfortably looking up in the dark.

Wishing upon a star comes from Roman legend. The planet Venus is named for the Roman goddess of love and is always the brightest point in the sky. The Romans built temples to Venus, and since it was the first “star” that could be seen in the sky for much of the year, and always the brightest whether seen in the morning or the evening, it was an easy way to remember it as a prayer point. What is the #1 thing that people prayed to Venus for? Love, of course. The prayer evolved into a wish as people forgot the Goddess of Love and her origins, and the wish expanded into realms well outside the beginning point.

Indirectly my little glow in the dark star is shining with the same light those in the night sky radiate. The sun gave its energy to whatever is expended to make the electricity to light the lamp in my bedroom from where the little star gets its temporary glow. So the plastic star is my little slice of heaven to sleep beneath each night. For something so simple, I gain much. I am grateful for every piece of hope, fantasy and dream I have wished upon it.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you.
If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do.
Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing.
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true.
From Disney’s “Pinocchio”
written by Leight Harline and Ned Washington

Just a Little Thing

boatLife has a way of knocking a person down so that better times can be appreciated more fully. Generally, I am one who practices gratitude more than most. Yet, I have the abundantly human trait of taking things for granted.

Five days ago I woke with a scratchy throat and runny nose believing I had a head cold. By mid-day I was home from work with what turned out to be the flu. Only today did I feel well enough to head to work for a while, however it will still be a day cut short. The worst is over, but the illness is not gone. Now’s the time to take care and not overdo it, else the flu settles into something else just as bad or worse like a pneumonia.

Adding credence to the thought “you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone”, is my attitude today. I am thankful for the portion of my health that has returned even though I am still dragging. What I have is temporary and all will be normal soon. The incident serves as a reminder to appreciate good health more while I have it, for without a doubt one day an illness will be far more serious.

Imagine you are standing on the 70th floor of the Empire State Building, gazing at the cityscape. Suddenly a rather large man brusquely pushes past you, wrenches the window open and announces his intention to jump.

You yell out, “Stop! Don’t do it!” The six-foot-five figure turns to you and menacingly says, “Try to stop me and I’ll take you with me!”

“Umm… No problem, sir. Have a safe trip. Any last words?”

“Let me tell you my troubles,” he says. “My wife left me, my kids won’t talk to me, I lost my job and my pet turtle died. So why should I go on living?”

Suddenly you have a flash of inspiration. “Sir, close your eyes for a minute and imagine that you are blind. No colors, no sights of children playing, no fields of flowers, no sunset. Now imagine that suddenly there’s a miracle. You open your eyes and your vision is restored! Are you going to jump? Or will you stick around for a week to enjoy the sights?”

“I’ll stay for a week.”

“But what happened to all the troubles?”

“I guess they’re not so bad. I can see!”

“Well your eyesight is worth at least five million dollars. You’re a rich man!”

If you really appreciate your eyesight, the other pains are insignificant. But if you take it all for granted, then nothing in life will ever truly give you joy. Rabbi Noah Weinberg

Perspective is the key to living a grateful life I have discovered, just like Rabbi Weinberg illustrated in his story. Paying attention to the good I possess along and realizing there’s a lot of “bad” I could have, but don’t, are key reference points for keeping my head straight. Being far from perfect, I can’t do it all the time. I fail and get down about things like anyone else, but I don’tstay there. Recovery from the dark side of lacking gratitude is usually relatively quick. That’s a far cry from my days of wallowing in what I saw as my miseries.

Just a small thing like the flu can carry a lesson if one is open to learn it. I am grateful for the little wake up call!

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come
as a result of getting something we don’t have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating
what we do have.
Frederick Keonig