happiness

Kissed My Comfort Zone Goodbye

/ James Browning

comfort zone2Over time my comfort zone has become something of a trap; safe and comfortable, but stifling to my growth and realization of my dreams. My ‘rut’ is a sweet pill similar to “Soma” that Aldous Huxley described in “Brave New World”: … a quite impenetrable wall between the actual universe and… mind…

A little rhyme Huxley included about “Soma” is:
Hug me till you drug me, honey;
Kiss me till I’m in a coma;
Hug me, honey, snuggly bunny;
Love’s as good as Soma.

Psychologists have long told us that “man tends toward pleasure and the path of least resistance”. There is some deep down desire to get benefits without any more work or discomfort than absolutely necessary. Given a choice between something that is neutral and something that gives pleasure, humans most often choose the latter.  Today I throw off another layer of the old to embrace the new that comes with a fresh year tomorrow. 2 0 1 3 is going to be a remarkable year!

I used to have a comfort zone
Where I knew I couldn’t fail.
Same four walls and busy work,
Were really more like jail.

I longed to do the things
I’d never done before,
But I stayed inside my comfort
Zone and paced the same old floor.

I claimed to be so busy with
The things inside my zone,
But deep down inside I longed
For something special of my own,

I took a step with new strength
I’d never felt before.
I kissed my comfort zone good-bye
And closed and locked the door.
Taken from “I Used to Have a Comfort Zone” – Author Unknown

Just because a tendency is “normal” does not mean I must succumb to it. However, it takes a conscious leap of faith to move past my comfort zone. I am ready to make it and grateful that 2013 will be the year where I take big steps to break free and embrace my dreams.

It does not take a new day
To make a brand new start,
It only takes a deep desire
To try with all our heart.
So never give up in despair
And think that you are through,
For there’s always a tomorrow
And the hope of starting new.
From “Another Chance” by Helen Steiner Rice

Understand Your Darkness and It Will Vanish

/ James Browning

Take a look at the world and see the unhappiness around you and in you. Do you know what causes this unhappiness? You will probably say loneliness or oppression or war or hatred or atheism. And you will be wrong. There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them. Because of these false beliefs you see the world and yourself in a distorted way. Your programming is so strong and the pressure of society so intense that you are literally trapped into perceiving the world in this distorted kind of way. There is no way out, because you do not even have a suspicion that your perception is distorted, your thinking is wrong, and your beliefs are false.

Look around and see if you can find a single genuinely happy person — fearless, free from insecurities, anxieties, tensions, worries. You would be lucky if you found one in a hundred thousand. What makes it even worse is the fact that most people are so brainwashed that they do not even realize how unhappy they are — like the man in a dream who has no idea he is dreaming.

What are these false beliefs that block you from happiness? Here are some examples. First: You cannot be happy without the things that you attached to and that you consider so precious. False. There is not a single moment in your life when you do not have everything that you need to be happy. Think of that for a minute. The reason why you are unhappy is because you are focusing on what you do not have rather than on what you have right now.

Another belief: Happiness is in the future. Not true. Right here and now you are happy and you do not know it because your false beliefs and your distorted perceptions have got you caught up in fears, anxieties, attachments, conflicts, guilt and a host of games that you are programmed to play. If you would see through this you would realize that you are happy and do not know it.

Yet another belief: Happiness will come if you manage to change the situation you are in and the people around you. Not true. You stupidly squander so much energy trying to rearrange the world. If changing the world is your vocation in life, go right ahead and change it, but do not harbor the illusion that this is going to make you happy. What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world and the people around you, but the thinking in your head.

Another false belief: If all your desires are fulfilled you will be happy. Not true. In fact it is these very desires and attachments that make you tense, frustrated, nervous, insecure and fearful. The fulfillment of desire can, at the most, bring flashes of pleasure and excitement. Don’t mistake that for happiness.

What then is happiness? Very few people know and no one can tell you, because happiness cannot be described. Can you describe light to people who have been sitting in darkness all their lives? Can you describe reality to someone in a dream? Understand your darkness and it will vanish; then you will know what light is. Understand your nightmare for what it is and it will stop; then you will wake up to reality. Understand your false beliefs and they will drop; then you will know the taste of happiness.

From “The Way To Love ” by Anthony de Mello who was a Jesuit priest. The book is a collection of the last meditations he wrote before his untimely death in 1987. Thanks to my friend Lynette who shared a line from de Mello that led me to more of his work including what is above.

There are moments of clarity when realization touches me down to the fiber of my being. The passage above brought one of those experiences and it came because a friend put it in my path. What I need continually arrives when I need it most. I am grateful for the serendipity that brought this wisdom into my knowing.

Happiness is when what you think,
what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Mahatma Gandhi

Eleven Hints For Life

/ James Browning

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

4. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we loseit, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone – but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other’s shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,  the one smiling and everyone around you is crying. 
Unknown

Life has taught me well.  The  joy and good times leave permanent impressions.  The difficult and previous leave their marks.  Each a balance for the other.  I am grateful for the full spectrum of experience my life has and yet will contain.

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
W. M. Lewis

Wind in the Trees

/ James Browning

I find what I go looking for. What I expect seems to manifest itself before me with great frequency. My thoughts shape my life more than any other single factor. Today I feel great and am loving life. With that spirit I choose to begin my day with a thought by Henry Drummond:

…to love abundantly is to live abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever…

With intention I hope to be more aware today than usual and live closely to the ending passage from the book “Contemplate” by Gwen Frostic, punctuated just as she originally wrote and published it:

Savor each moment of beauty –
The majestic – – and the simple . . .

Listen to silence – – –
that in itself
renders all words meaningless . . . . .

Feel the wind in the trees – – –
The ebb and flow of the tides – – –
Wild wings soaring high – – –
– – – the timeless rhythm of life . . . . .

Dream of stars shining over head – – –
– – of the mystic kinship
that underlies all life . . . . .

Keep a sense of wonder –
and of awe – – – –
– – – – forever

Some mornings I am nearly overtaken with gratefulness to be alive. I relish those days when I begin well and know whatever comes, it will be an outstanding day. What  joy to be conscious and able to witness and experience all I will get to smell, feel, hear, taste and see! Come pain or pleasure, trouble or ease, happiness or grief… it will be a good day. I am grateful to be alive!

You will find as you look back upon your life
that the moments when you have truly lived
are the moments when you have done things
in the spirit of love.
Henry Drummond

Rich and Marvelous

/ James Browning

Dare to Be

When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.
When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light.
When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it.
When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway.
When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.
When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some.
When you’re feeling tired, dare to keep going.
When times are tough, dare to be tougher.
When love hurts you, dare to love again.
When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.
When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.
When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand.
When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile.
When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.
When the day has ended, dare to feel as you’ve done your best.
Dare to be the best you can –
At all times, Dare to be!”
From “Life, the Truth and Being Free” by Steve Maraboli

Today my gratefulness includes morning coffee and the daily newspaper; brunch and conversation with a dear friend and the full belly and sated soul it left me with; a restful night’s sleep and air conditioning that works well;  clothes that I enjoy wearing and a dependable car to drive; good health and the mindfulness to take care of it, enough money to take care of myself and an open heart to realize how rich and marvelous my life is.  

Gratitude means to recognize the good in your life.
Be thankful for whatever you have.
Some people may not even have one of those things
you consider precious to you (love, family, friends etc).
Each day give thanks for the gift of life. You are blessed.
Pablo

Light Through a Magnifying Glass Artfully Used

/ James Browning

A busy week had me sleep deprived at bed time last night. The fix was nine and a half hours of good sleep that has me now coming awake feeling rested with a strong sense of gratitude for my well-being this morning. I’m well and thankful for the healing slumber, the bed I found it in, the A/C that kept me comfortable and most of all for the awareness to be grateful for such things.

Begin your day by feeling grateful.

Be grateful for the bed you just slept in,

the roof over your head,

the running water,

your shower,

your clothes,

your shoes,

the car that you drive,

your job,

your friends.

Be grateful for the stores that make it so easy to buy the things you need,

the restaurants,

the utilities,

and services that make your life effortless.

Be grateful for the sun, the sky,

the trees,

and the flowers.

“Secret Daily Teachings” from Rhonda Byrne

Gratitude in mind is like food to my body: it nourishes and makes me stronger. Today I know thankfulness on a level greater than any which came before this blog began. Taking time every single day to focus my gratefulness has multiplied that feeling within me to a level beyond my ability to explain it.  Like light through a magnifying glass artfully used, gratitude burns beautiful patterns into my life.

You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life.
And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law:
the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.
Sarah Ban Breathnach

Be Thankful

/ James Browning

In my mind the number thirteen has held fascination for me as long as I can remember. Most likely it comes from my perpetual quest to be uniquely myself. Since thirteen is shunned by many as an unpopular number, then of course it has to be a favorite of mine. If a hotel has a 13th floor I often ask to have a room on it!  What started this affinity with the number was so long ago I don’t recall its beginning.

This morning I sat for a few minutes (I should have timed myself, it might have been 13 minutes) thinking about simple experiences I hold in distinct regard; the type I am grateful for that can make me sigh just thinking about them. Here are the first thirteen things that came to mind:

Crawling into bed and feeling my body hit cool sheets after a hot day.

Walking in the rain when it is more mist than drops.

Feeling comfy clothes on me in the evening after being dressed up for work all day.

Being hugged by someone I love that I’ve not seen in a long time.

The scent of my wisteria vine in full bloom on my patio.

The feeling of an at-first too hot shower on my skin once I get used to the temperature.

The first taste of cotton candy after buying it at the state fair.

Thoughts of my son napping on my chest with his head on my shoulder when he was little.

Feeling the dew on my bare feet while walking through the grass on a spring morning.

The rapture of falling in love when it feels like nothing is lacking.

Waking on a Sunday morning and realizing I can go back to sleep for a while longer.

Wearing an old cotton t-shirt full of holes that feels softer than silk to my skin.

A soft evening breeze moving across my backyard making the wind chimes sing.

The more I’ve developed a sense of gratitude in recent years, the more I notice simple things to be thankful for.  The more I find the more resonate my gratefulness becomes.

Be thankful that you don’t already have
everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be
to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes,
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary,
Because it means you’ve made an effort.
It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those
who are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they will become your blessings.
“Be Thankful” Author Unknown