Spirituality

To Love More and Be Happy

/ James Browning / 3 Comments

A company business trip took me to the Florida for most of the week.  The trip was completed with a stop in Alabama to visit family for a couple of nights.  As much as I no longer find business travel to be enjoyable, the first part of the trip was more than a fair trade-off  to see my Brother, his wife and my niece.

Arriving home late yesterday afternoon I was near a walking zombie.  The meetings of the week started early and the evening dinners went late.  Arriving home my state was near exhaustion.  Too tired to unpack and too wired to go to bed at 7pm, I turned on the cable box to find something interesting to unwind and decompress with.  I ended up on pay-per-view stumbling across a documentary called “I Am” by Tom Shadyac who directed movie comedies such as “Ace Ventura:  Pet Detective” “Patch Adams” and “The Nutty Professor”.

For some people there are events that happen which are deeply life changing.  For Shadyac it was post-concussion syndrome after a 2007 bicycle accident in Virginia.  A 2011 New York Times article stated that: the symptoms of a concussion (didn’t) go away. Something as simple as a trip to the grocery store was painful for Shadyac, whose brain was unable to filter various stimuli. After medical treatments failed to help, he isolated himself completely, sleeping in his closet and walling the windows of his mobile home with black-out curtains. As his symptoms finally began to subside, the director wanted to share his inner quest in the way he knew best: through film. 

Shadyac gave away much of his fortune mostly through donations to worthy causes.  He reoriented and simplified his life, sold his 17,000-square-foot home and moved into a trailer park in Malibu.  Some think he “lost it” but after watching his documentary I think his experience enabled him to “get it”!

In the film, Shadyac does interviews with scientists, religious leaders, environmentalists, and philosophers focusing on two questions:   “What’s Wrong With the World?” and “What Can We Do About it?”  The documentary is about “human connectedness, happiness, and the human spirit” and explores the nature of humanity and our world’s ever-growing addiction to materialism.  In the trailer for the film Shadyac says he went looking for what was wrong with the world and found instead a lot of what was right about it.

Although some reviewers have not thought kindly of Shadyac’s documentary, I was moved to tears by what I saw and heard.  I don’t think he worries much about what others think as Tom Shadyac has found his own personal truth, something most people never even brush up against, much less tell the whole world about.  As the centuries-old wisdom in the “I Ching” says before a brilliant person begins something great, they must look foolish in the crowd.

Here’s are some of Tom Shadyac’s favorite quotes that shed light on his point of view and that of the documentary:  

“…Our life might be much easier and simpler than we make it…Why need you choose so painfully your place, and occupation…? Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which animates all whom it floats, and you are without effort impelled to truth, to right and a perfect contentment.”

“Study to overcome that in yourself which disturbs you most in others.”

“We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.”

“When we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The final essence I am left with now some twelve hours after seeing Tom Shadyac’s “I Am” documentary is my life is better when I am guided more by my heart than my mind.  Within my feelings are the strongest and truest connections to my most authentic self.  I have known for a good while my mind spins falsehood and fabrication with regularity, but my heart rarely does.  The key for me is to tune out my egoic mind’s loud and constant talking when I can in order to hear and feel the soft voice of my heart.  While my practice of that wisdom is far from perfect, my gratitude is large to simply have knowledge of it.  I get better at living it every day. 

link to film website and trailer for “I Am”

When all your desires are distilled
You will cast just two votes
To love more
And be happy.
Hafiz

Enjoy the Ride

/ James Browning / 1 Comment

Stated in an article I read recently was the premise that science now believes our brain has no dependable ability to accurately predict our emotional reaction to life changes that have not happened yet.  No matter how much contemplation of a subject in advance, a person can not know for certain through anticipation how something is going to feel.

Apparently, in most cases we physically simply don’t know for sure ahead of time what we want and don’t want.  Only when we get it can we find out what makes us happy and what does not.  Again the point is made that experience is where the greatest amount of true knowledge comes from for each of us.

The line of thinking in the article went on to an even more important point:  the act of pondering, wondering, thinking, contemplating and brooding over what our reaction might or might not be to something is what can screw us up!

We live in a time the vast majority of humans before us never had the luxury of. The many generations preceeding had to mostly be obsessed with just staying alive.  When the majority of time was spent gathering berries and running from wild animals there was little left to spend considering what might bring happiness.

Research now shows that things like friendship, love, altruism and religion or spiritual practice help to bring happiness.  In other words, moving the focus away from our self is what creates fertile ground for happiness.  That feels true for me.  When I was finally able to let go, stop worrying all the time and began attempting to live life well one day at a time, my existence became a much better experience.  When I began to enjoy the ride instead of trying to figure out where it was taking me my satisfaction of life took a positive leap forward.

In working a successful 12 step program for codependence and compulsion, these admissions had to be made:  1)  my life had become unmanageable  2) something beyond me could help 3) a choice to accept help and stop trying to do every thing myself.  Summed up I can say this a different way in just a few words:  I stopped trying to be my own God! 

In counseling and recovery the word God is a tricky thing.  For many, words such as Higher Power, Nature or The Universe make more sense.  That is true for me as I believe God is all those things and more.  My convictions say that whatever energy and force there is beyond me is outside my ability to accurately comprehend.  All trying to grasp such a heady concept does is complicate and cloud my mind without any further understanding. By attempting  insight from a limited human perspective I can only put myself further away from the force of life.

I respect all different viewpoints regarding ‘God’ and would never tread on anyone’s beliefs, hoping they will extend to me the same consideration.  Personally I am better off not to try to sort out the ‘God thing’ and make sense of it.  Rather my choice has been to find acceptance.  By embracing a power beyond my capacity to grasp and letting myself fall into it is how I found the freedom to be alive, happy and contented in spite of all my faults, mistakes and imperfections (at least most of the time). 

Oh, I still doubt sometimes.  Bad things still happen.  Life is still painful and difficulties can seem almost unbearable some days.  I just don’t get permanently stuck there any more.  Knowing “this too will pass” makes a huge difference. Once I stopped trying to force my way onto life and instead allowed the power behind everything to take me where it wanted, being alive became a so much better experience.  I am very grateful.

Grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking this world
As it is, not as I would have it.
Adapted from original concepts by Reinhold Niebuhr

Love Was Born at Christmas

/ James Browning / 2 Comments

It has been a lot of years since I can remember having the spirit of Christmas alive and frolicking within as I do this year. It could easily be true I have never been this happy at this time of year.  The little boy who lives inside me is enjoying reports of Santa’s progress in my direction.  The grownup within is dazzled by the feeling inside that sparkles and shines brightly like the lights of the season.  My eyes see Christmas. My ears hear the music.  My mouth tastes the food.  My nose smells the trees.  My touch feels bows and wrapping paper.  My heart is soft and childlike, yet touched deeply in mature ways.  Santa is coming.  Christ-mas is near.   

Eva K. Logue
A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away;
While quite unselfish, it grows small.

Emily Matthews
From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another
The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other. 

Christina Rossetti
Love came down at Christmas;
Love all lovely, love divine;
Love was born at Christmas,
Stars and angels gave the sign. 

Phillips Brooks
The earth has grown old with its burden of care
But at Christmas it always is young,
The heart of the jewel burns lustrous and fair
And its soul full of music breaks the air,
When the song of angels is sung.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on Earth, good will to men! 

Helen Lowrie Marshall
The merry family gatherings –
The old, the very young;
The strangely lovely way they
Harmonize in carols sung.
For Christmas is tradition time
Traditions that recall
The precious memories down the years,
The sameness of them all. 

Ella Wheeler Wilcox
When Christmas bells are swinging above the fields of snow,
We hear sweet voices ringing from lands of long ago,
And etched on vacant places
Are half-forgotten faces
Of friends we used to cherish,
And loves we used to know. 

Calvin Coolidge
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind.
To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. 

Augusta E. Rundel
Christmas… that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance.
It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance — a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.

If only for a day, the world will be just a little safer, a little more peaceful and life will arrive with a little more kindness.  Even the bad guys and criminals are not quite as busy on Christmas.  For every gift ever received I am grateful.  For every hardship and lack that taught to appreciate them I am even more thankful. 
Merry Christmas!

Were I a philosopher, I should write a philosophy of toys, showing that no thing else in life need to be taken seriously, and that Christmas Day in the company of children is one of the few occasions on which men become entirely alive.  Robert Lynd

God is Love, Hope, Peace

/ James Browning / 3 Comments

For several years there was no obvious sign of Christmas in the place I lived.  Little feeling for the holidays was within me either.  My emotions were mostly variances in the range of anguish to numbness.  Such is the way of healing.  

Recovering from grief, heartache and dysfunction is a slow process and requires the time it takes.  No more.  No less.  There is no shortcut.

Last Christmas there began a subdued little glow of Christmas within me.  I bought a little artificial tree and decorated it.  For the first time in years I began to find some delight for the holidays.  

Now just twelve months later it feels as though many multiples of that period have come and gone.  In  the passing of a single year my true recovery from depression has taken frim deep root and life is good; the best ever.  My education includes the knowledge there is no easy way to mend, except to live one day at a time, one step at a time. 

I kept my feet on a path forward even when sometimes that meant learning the lessons taught by two steps forward and one back.  I made mistakes, but did my best to extract wisdom from each one.  I kept going, even when collapsing into sorrow was appealing.  I did the work that recovery requires and sought out support of a peer when I was discouraged.  I faced my demons, destroyed few, but diminished the power of all of them. I made good choices and gave myself credit for them.  

I stopped the constant question “what am I going to do” and made a commitment to settle down in the city I already lived in.  I bought a house and began to live in a real home for the first time in almost five years.  I recommitted myself to the good job I already had and discovered I was better at it than ever.  I met someone special and freed my heart to fal in love.  I made new dear friendships and my relationship with three old friends got deeper. 

A full range of feeling came back and I allowed myself to experience them even when it was arduous.  Despair has largely been left behind me and in its space peace has found me.  I know true happiness and have immense gratitude.  

In the kitchen this morning pouring my second cup of coffee I looked toward the den and saw the view included at the top.  It was striking and touching to the point of watery eyes as I realized the spirit of Christmas was alive within me and evident in my home.  Even now my heart swells in my chest as I look at the photo.  Over time developing awareness of the goodness in my life and gratitude for it has been a substantial portion of the cure for what ailed me.  

In the photo:

First that jumps out to me is the sparkling little Christmas tree.  It is the same modest one from last year and is now known as “the little tree that could” bring Christmas joy back to James’s life.

I see the gifts for friends beneath the tree I can’t wait to share with them.  Other gifts were wrapped and shipped to friends and family earlier enough this year that the packages will reach their destinations in time for Christmas.

I live in a real home now that reflects back to me the warmth of an authentic person.  I don’t feel the need to pretend any longer and I like me… I really like me (well, most of the time).

On the walls is black and white photography I love.  In some frames is my work and others contain images by photographers I respect.

Old clocks are part of the landscape of my home as is the collection of ornamental glass on the sofa table.  I love how the ticking of the clocks and the reflections of the glass bring life to a room.

A  forty-year old Marantz amp/tuner brings me lots of pleasure especially when the music is coming from an LP playing on the turntable. 

Almost out of range visually in the left of the image, but never out of my mind are photos of my son.  No father has ever loved a son more nor been prouder of one.  

There are flowers on the hearth in front of the fireplace.  While a seemingly decadent luxury to some, there always are fresh flowers in my home.  There is never too much beauty in anyone’s life.

In a big green glass jar under the end table is a collection of matchbooks that span not only my life but some of my father’s time when phone numbers were something like “Delaware 3-2468”.

In the center of the image is a framed photo of a couple.  It was taken a few months ago on a cell phone by a friend of the woman I love and me at a restaurant. 

The couch on the left of the photo is the one she and I have made out on many times.  My Sweetie says we should always keep it for sentimental reasons.  I agree.

Too small to be focused on just to the right of the fireplace on the hearth are three rocks with words on them.  One rock says “God is love” on it.  My friend and fellow Codependence Anonymous member Doug gave me (thanks Dude!).  There are two others both given to me by my ex-wife after we had gone our separate ways.  One has “Hope” carved into it and was the spirit she wished for me at one of my birthdays.  And the most important rock she also gave me has “Peace” inscribed upon it.  For the eight years we were together when she asked what I wanted most in life I would reply “peace”.  Several years ago during one of the last times we spent several hours together she gave me the “peace rock” saying she wished “peace” for me with all her heart.  Life has moved on.  She has remarried.  We are only part of each other’s past.  Today I know the comfort of a good measure of “peace” and owe her thanks for helping me move in its direction.

God is love. Hope.  Peace. I am exceedingly grateful to have the gift of these three blessings profoundly alive in my life.  And those things are my Christmas wish for one and all.

Christmas gift suggestions:  To your enemy, forgiveness.  To an opponent, tolerance.  To a friend, your heart.  To a customer, service.  To all, charity.  To every child, a good example.  To yourself, respect.  Oren Arnold

An Almost Infinite Capacity

/ James Browning / 3 Comments

Yesterday day at work I recited to someone an alternate version of a favorite Christmas song he had never heard.  With it fresh on my mind, I tried it out on two others who it turned out had never heard it as well.  So today it is getting shared here for the “betterment of posterity”.  

I have no exact memory of how old I was, but my favorite uncle taught me this alternate version of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” when I was still in elementary school.  It took him teaching me on and off for a full weekend before all the words were indelibly stamped in my brain where they have remained now for fifty years.  Here goes:

Randolph, the bow-legged cowboy
Had a very shiny gun
And if you ever saw it
You would turn about and run.
 
All of the other cowboys
Used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Randolph
Join in any poker games.

Then one day the bank was robbed
And sheriff came to say
“Randolph with your gun so bright
Won’t you guide my posse tonight?”

Then all the cowgirls loved him
As they shouted out with glee
Randolph the bow-legged cowboy
You’ll go down in history! 

There are many alternate versions of Christmas carols and poetry of the season, but none I enjoy more than this slightly twisted version of “Twas the Night before Christmas”.  It is a reminder of what the season is truly about.

Tis the month before Christmas, we’re all going nuts;
With so much to do, there are no ifs, ands or buts.
Buy presents, hang tree lights, pop cards in the mail,
Send gift packs, thread popcorn, find turkeys on sale.

Decorations need stringing up all through the house.
And you haven’t a clue what to buy for your spouse.
School concerts, receptions, open houses with friends,
Long lineups, short tempers, tying up the loose ends.

With all our mad dashing, we’re reeling from shock;
Let’s stop for a minute and really take stock.
It’s crassly commercial, the cynical say;
If that’s true, that our fault… it’s us and not they.

Take time for yourself-though hard as that seems—
Enjoy your kids’ laughter, excitement and dreams.
Take a moment out now, don’t get overly riled,
Instead make an angel in snow with your child.

The shortbread can wait, and so can the tree;
What’s important to feel is a child’s sense of glee.
The holidays aren’t about push, rush and shove;
They’re for friendship and sharing and family love.

Hear the bells, feel the warmth, light up with the glow
Of a message first sent to us so long ago:
Peace, love and goodwill, and hope burning bright.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Now is the time of heightened goodwill, of giving, of loving one and all.  It is a time of celebration of children; the ones we adults used to be, the ones we brought into the world and the one who was born in a manger over two thousand years ago.

Aldous Huxley wrote:  Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.  Without doubt that phrase was abundantly true about me during much of my life.  This year I have more Christmas spirit than I probably have ever had and the reason is two-fold and simple:  I have more love in my life than ever before and my gratitude for living is at an all time high and growing.   

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. 
Charles Dickens

Man’s Greatest Wisdom

/ James Browning / 1 Comment

About ten or twelve years ago I read a fictional book with a message titled “The Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield.  The tale became a best seller and revolves round the discovery of a mysterious, ancient manuscript that is being withheld from the public by government and church.  The basic premise of the book is there is much more to the cosmos than we are aware, there are no coincidences and everything happens for a reason.

A reader of  “The Celestine Prophecy” finds something called “The Nine Insights” outlined that are hints that tie back well to many other teachings about how to have a good life.  Just one example is how I tie the Insights back to 12 Step Programs (see parenthesis below).   

Insight #1 is a feeling of restlessness and a search for more meaning in life. Responding to this urge, awareness begins of “coincidences”, synchronicity and some underlying process operating in life. (We are powerless…)

Insight #2 is an awareness of a historical and present preoccupation with the material world which instigates a search for a deeper meaning and the purpose for life. (Came believe in a power greater than our self…)

Insight #3 is seeing our connectedness to everyone and all things.  A knowing comes of the subtle energy of everything and how each person helps create the world we live in. (Turn our will over to a power greater than our self)

Insight #4 is learning how people all compete for this energy and this competition underlies all conflicts that come from humans need to control and dominate one another. (Made a fearless inventory of our self and admitted the nature of our wrongs)

Insight #5 is discovering the key to overcoming conflict is to tap into the source thorough spirituality where people find connectedness and oneness with everything. (Ready to have our defects removed and asked for help)

Insight #6 is awareness of the Childhood traumas and false messages that block the ability to know one’s true spirit.  Overcoming the issues allows healing and transcending the past. (Becoming aware of shortcomings and seeking to make amends)  

Insight #7 is moving beyond past trauma and building spirituality.  This allows for connection to something greater than one’s self and receiving guidance from it. (Continuing to search for and make amends)

Insight #8 is humans are here to support, teach and care for one another.  Only through uplifting others can we release counterproductive behaviors and become a whole person. (Sought to improve our conscious contact with a power beyond our self)

Insight #9 is the purpose of human life is to grow.  The more a person evolves positively the greater the connection to a Higher Source becomes and “heaven on Earth” is manifested. (Trying to carry the message to others)

Anyone who has or is working a 12 step program as I have with Codependence Anonymous should be able to readily notice some correlation between the Nine Insights and the 12 Steps as I noted above.  My interpretation is loose, but no less meaningful.  

When boiled down, there is much wisdom to be found within the teachings from many sources.  There is commonality between the Nine Insights, the 12 Steps, the Ten Commandments, the Buddhist Eight Fold Noble Path, the Wiccan Three Fold Law and many ancient and modern spiritual teachings. 

Professor Huston Smith is a well-known spiritual leader, author and Methodist minister who practiced Hinduism, Zen Buddhism and Sufism for over ten years each.  His belief based on ninety-two years of life and study is the teaching of all great religions distilled down together is Man’s greatest wisdom.

I am grateful to have learned there is a difference between religion and spirituality. While they certainly may come together, they are not the same.  Religion is much about a connection to concepts and people while spirituality is about connection to something far outside human experience.   I am thankful for that clarity and knowledge and the peace that my seeking has brought to me.

Wherever people live, whenever they live, they find themselves faced with three inescapable problems:  1) Winning food and shelter from the natural environment (the problem nature poses), 2) Getting  along with one another (the social problem), and 3) Relating our self to the total scheme of things (the spiritual/religious problem).  
Huston Smith

If God Had a Home on Earth

/ James Browning

If God had a home on Earth, where would His/Her home be?  Traditional belief holds the all-powerful force can be everywhere at once and at any moment within any person who welcomes the presence.  So my question is rhetorical, yet pondering an answer and beckoning possibilities lends insight.
 
There are many definitions of “home” and among them is:  a valued place where something is founded; a source.  For sake of avoiding argument, let’s assume God’s home can not be man-made and eliminate any such places we feel He/She has a presence such as a church.  Since God preceded humanity, The Devine’s home on Earth would likewise have to have existed before us.  
 
Growing up many of us were taught in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.  If one thinks of “home” as being a refuge and place of security, in that context God would have a place somewhere not simmering in the trial and tribulation soup us humans are always swimming in.  So if God has a refuge or home on Earth, I like to think it is within Nature or Mother Nature or Father Nature or whatever label you choose to put on the natural world outside of man’s control and creation. 
 
Yesterday my Love and I took a long drive on country back roads most of the afternoon to take in the autumn beauty of the season change.  What was forecast to be a cloudy day unfolded to have lots of sunshine; a glorious day to be outside.  The feeling always comes of being closer to God when I am close to Nature.  The sense if one of being closer to creation; of seeing things a step more connected to the source.
 
While I have never seen or heard the voice of my Higher Power in the woods, I notice signs all over of HIm/Her.  There is a trace in the yellow and reds of the leaves mingled with some that still hang on to their green.  Evidence is apparent in the squirrels so busy gathering for winter and the wild flower blooms that still hang on waiting for a heavy frost.  I find the presence of God in the smells of the forest, the musky air that circulates within, the clouds that cause sunlight to scatter and speckle through the trees;  the beauty of  Nature.

From “Had We the Eyes” by James Dillet Freeman
How fair a world
Around us lies,
Heaven unfurled,
Had we the eyes.

If the concept of “God” is difficult for you I understand.  Mine once was also and having been abused with religion growing up made it all the more difficult.  I never understood why my prayers for abuse to stop were never heard even though I was made to go to church several times per week.  My belief was true and my prayer  sincere but that did not seem to be enough.  For a time I just thought God did not like me.  I began the long journey back to a view of something bigger than mankind with a perspective of the world as an amazing organism that had developed and bloomed on its own.  With only that way of seeing my existence was improved by being able to see spirituality in Nature.  More came in time.

It is the way of humans to think of ourselves as self-sufficient, yet we can not survive without the air we breathe. Nor can we live long without sunlight, water, and food. Our bodies are totally dependent on Nature and there is where I found God living.  It is easy for me to see a presence there whenever I look. 
 
Traditional beliefs confound me and the more I attempt to define a power higher than me the more I find questions and reason to doubt.  Yet, I feel confident there is a Power or God beyond this world, but also think it is beyond man’s ability to comprehend the complexity of it all.  So I just accept that God is and that is enough for me.
 
Mildred Lisette Norman, also known as the Peace Pilgrim, was an American activist and spiritual missionary who spent the last 28 years of her life walking across the United States for peace.  She was the first woman to walk the entire length of the Appalachian Trailin one season. She described what she called her “wonderful mountaintop experience” in this way:  …important part of it was the realization of the oneness of all creation.  Not only all human beings… I knew before that all human beings are one. But now I know also a oneness with the rest of creation. The creatures that walk the earth and the growing things of the earth… The air, the water, the Earth itself. And, most wonderful of all, a oneness with that which permeates all and binds all together and gives life to all. A oneness with that which many would call God.”
 
If the end of my time comes and I find there is nothing beyond what I have known here, my life will still have been better for what I believe.  I am grateful!  

In many areas of understanding, none so much as in our understanding of God, we bump up against simplicity so profound that we must assign complexities to it to comprehend it at all.  It is mindful of how we paste decals to a sliding glass door to keep from bumping our nose against it.  Robert Brault

Wisdom: Hidden, But Not Concealed

/ James Browning / 1 Comment

Most people spend their entire life imprisoned within the confines of their own thoughts.  They never go beyond a narrow, mind-made, personalized sense of self that is conditioned by the past.  In you, as in each human being, there is a dimension of consciousness far deeper than thought.  It is the very essence of who you are.  

How easy it is for people to become trapped in their conceptual prisons. The human mind, in its desire to know, understand, and control, mistakes its opinions and viewpoints for the truth.  It says:  this is how it is.  You have to be larger than thought to realize that however you interpret “your life” or someone else’s life or behavior, however you judge the situation, it is not more than a viewpoint, one of many possible perspectives.  It is not more than a bundle of thoughts.   

Wisdom is NOT a product of thought.  The deep knowing that is wisdom arises through the simple act of giving someone or something your full attention.  Attention is primordial intelligence, consciousness itself.
From “Stillness Speaks” by Elkhart Tolle

If it were possible to intellectually repair one’s self, I’d have “fixed” myself ten times over.
I searched.
I read dozens and dozens of religious, self-help and spiritual books.
I attended retreats and spent time at a Benedictine monastery.
I began to attend church again.
I looked deeply into Buddhism, attended classes and became a practicing Buddhist.
I explored the Bible and bought a concordance to help my study.
I scrutinized codices of the Nag Hammadi and the Dead  Sea  Scrolls.
I learned about Gnosticism and ancient Gnostic teachings.
I investigated the teachings of Confucius.
I became a serious amateur student of psychology.
I poured over texts of spiritual practices from Sufism to Rosicrucian Principles.
I studied ancient philosophies of Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Epictetus, Pythagoras and Marcus Aurelius.
I probed the contemporary philosophies of Emerson, Thoreau, Huxley, Gandhi and Einstein.
I looked into the writings of Ram Das, Deepak Chopra, Rumi, Thich Nhat Hanh, Osho and Huston Smith.
I……..

While becoming more educated I consistently became more weighted down as I fed my intellect.  In choosing an outward quest in search of answers to my questions about living and its meaning, I neglected the ability to let them find me.  

What I searched for, to borrow the words of Socrates, was “hidden, but not concealed; evident, but not visible”.  The two best outcomes of my decade and a half of probing and investigating were:  1) I got into therapy and recovery and 2) I began a meditation practice.  I found no specific answers through those avenues I can identify, but I did find a lot of myself.  

In my opinion a good therapist does not heal a person, they help a person learn how to heal them self.  In the process one can learn how to “crack them self open” and heal from the inside out.   

My meditation practice is not about stopping my mind from stirring constantly with its whirlwind of thought.  Rather it is about letting the wind of thinking blow strong through me while paying as little attention as possible to it.  It is then I have room to focus narrowly and allow natural and innate wisdom to come to me.  Some days I gain a lot of insight, on others hardly any at all.  The answers are in the trying.  It is my consistent effort that heals. 

Make no mistake; “book” knowledge gained in my search has helped.  However, it was the acceptance that some things can not be intellectually known when I truly got better.  To get at the true essence of who I am all I have to do is keep faith in my self and a power beyond me I can’t explain and don’t now feel the need to.   There is gratitude within for every step on my path but most of all I am glad to be alive today!

 The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand.  Frank Herbert

A Prayer and Things Desired

/ James Browning / 2 Comments

Yesterday while looking for a particular book in my personal library and I came across another hardback not opened for years titled “The Desiderata of Happiness:  A Collection of Philosophical Poems by the author of Desiderata Max Ehrmann*”.  I read the first half dozen lines of “Desiderata” and recalled how much I like that old poem.  I remembered the title means “things desired” in Latin and made a mental note to come back and read the whole poem in a little while.  I never got around to it.  

Although I purchased the book solely for “Desiderata”, yesterday my attention was absorbed by another piece by Max Ehrmann that I don’t believe I had read before.   

A Prayer

Let me do my work each day;
and if the darkened hours
of despair overcome me, may I
not forget the strength
that comforted me in the
desolation of other times. 

May I still remember the bright
hours that found me walking
over the silent hills of my
childhood, or dreaming on the
margin of a quiet river,
when a light glowed within me,
and I promised my early God
to have courage amid the
tempests of the changing years.

Spare me from bitterness
and from the sharp passions of
unguarded moments. May
I not forget that poverty and
riches are of the spirit.
Though the world knows me not,
may my thoughts and actions
be such as shall keep me friendly
with myself. 

Lift up my eyes
from the earth, and let me not
forget the uses of the stars.
Forbid that I should judge others
lest I condemn myself.
Let me not follow the clamor of
the world, but walk calmly
in my path.

Give me a few friends
who will love me for what
 I am; and keep ever burning
before my vagrant steps
the kindly light of hope.

And though age and infirmity
overtake me, and I come not within
sight of the castle of my dreams,
teach me still to be thankful
for life, and for time’s olden
memories that are good and
sweet; and may the evening’s
twilight find me gentle still.

Oh, how those words rang true in my head yesterday.  I find it fascinating that when my heart, mind and soul is open to receive, what I need almost always comes to me.  So was the case with the accidental discovery yesterday of Ehrmann’s “A Prayer”.    As I stood and read, I got goose bumps from how well the words were the precise poultice needed by me yesterday.  Even today typing those words here I am touched just as much as when reading them the first time eighteen hours ago. 

In absorbing the meaning of Mr. Ehrmann’s words there are reminders of what I believe in and value most.  I am especially fond of the last eight lines about being grateful for my life as it comes and for what it contains.  What I want does not always show up, but what I need usually does.  All I have to do is be genuinely open to receive what comes and be grateful for it.  

The journey is the reward.  Chinese Proverb 

* Max Ehrmann was an American writer, poet and attorney from Terre Haute, Indiana who lived from 1872 until 1945.  He is most known widely known for “Desiderata” he wrote in 1927.  Go here to read it: http://www.lordtonymackenzie.com/desiderata.html

The Dalai Lama, Buddha, Surya Das and Tolle

/ James Browning / 3 Comments

In 2000 I visited Hawaii.  The island of Oahu was beautiful, especially once out into the countryside.  The drive all the way around the island and a helicopter sight-seeing flight the next day are highlights I recall clearly.  Another clear memory was finding a Buddhist book in my hotel room along side Gideon’s Bible.  The former was called “The Teaching of Buddha” and is provided to hotels by the Society for the Promotion of Buddhism, a nonprofit group started by a Japanese business man in the mid 1960’s. 

The Buddhist book caught my curiosity and I began reading it each morning on the balcony of my room overlooking the ocean.  The 11th floor view just after sunrise was inspirational to begin with, but combined with a first cup of coffee and reading about the teachings of Buddha made those mornings memorable in a unique way.  It was then through pure chance that my interest in Buddhist teachings began and later grew into a morning meditation practice.  Admittedly that habit has waxed and waned in the last decade, but remains something I either do or intend to do regularly.

Never have I seen Buddhism as a religion as one might view Christianity, Islam, Judaism or other such religious followings.  The term “practice” is the best fit for what Buddhism means to my life.  Within that context a Buddhist Practice simply means I am dedicated to doing my best to follow the principles I have learned about and believe in.  

Within my copy of “The Teachings of Buddha” a Post-It note marks a half page containing:  

To worry in anticipation or to cherish regret for the past is (to make one) like the reeds that are cut and wither away.   

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live wisely and earnestly for the present. 

Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. 

It is worthy to perform the present duty well and without failure; do not seek to avoid it or postpone it till tomorrow.  By acting now, one can live a good day. 

That half page in “The Teaching of Buddha” allowed me to begin to see things very differently.  Within a few months an accidental discovery in a hotel room lead me to “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle which broke me open to a whole new way of seeing.  In turn that lead to finding the book “Awakening the Buddha Within” by Lama Surya Das which, combined with what I had learned already, put me firmly on a path of a new way of being.  

The essence for me of Buddhist teachings that I try hard to follow in my daily life is called the “Eightfold Noble Path”.  In my daily practice it is my intention to live within these tenants.  I am not always successful, but striving to such a standard has brought a slow but continuous improvement to my life. 

Eightfold Noble Path
Right View – We are owners of our actions and what we do, good or bad, shapes our life
Right Intention – Do good and cultivate love for others within
Right View – Speak kindly and gently.  Say what I mean and mean what I say
Right Action – Think before acting.  Rely on wisdom within to do what is appropriate
Right Livelihood – Make a living helping others or at least not hurting others
Right effort – To do one’s very best and apply one’s self fully to what is undertaken
Right Mindfulness – Keep most active in thought helpful and positive things
Right Concentration – Focus the mind as much as possible to things that matter most 

I am grateful that our President chose to meet with the Dalai Lama a few days ago in spite of the objections of the Chinese government.  It has continued to be outside my full grasp to understand why those in power in China see a nonviolent spiritual leader as such a threat.  It seems they fear most what they do no understand.   

For all the goodness and growth discovering the teachings of Buddha has brought to my life I am deeply grateful.  Finding this path has opened me, taught me and helped me to become a better person. The difference is not so much that I am not what I used to be.  Rather it is I am so much more than I was before. 

All major religious traditions carry basically the same message:  love, compassion and forgiveness.  The important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.  Dalai Lama