To Better Practice What I Already Know

RealityCheck_display_imageTwenty Six Ways To Love Life” by Tess Marshall – Part One

1. Be positive. The moment you open your eyes each morning think of something positive. One positive thought leads to another. Before falling asleep each night think positive thoughts. Positive thoughts lead to a well lived life.

2. Accept yourself. Be kind to yourself and love yourself. Never make excuses for who you are. Don’t compare yourself to others. There will never be another you.

3. Be Yourself. You are unique. We live in a copy-cat materialistic world. You don’t have to look or act like a Hollywood star. Don’t change who you are in different situations. You have a right to be different, think differently and do things differently than others. You only have to be you!

4. Choose your friends wisely. Choose friends who accept and respect you. Choose friends who support you. Friends either bring you up or down. Release anyone who isn’t going in your direction.

5. Practice gratitude. It’s the fastest way to put yourself in a positive emotional state. Keep your focus on what you have and more will come to you.

6. Help others. Never pass up an opportunity to help someone. Small deeds count. Big deeds count. Share with others. You can’t out give God. You will feel good about yourself and your life.

7. Apologize. Make this a habit. Tell others you are sorry. Ask what you can do to make up for your actions. Then make the changes needed in your behavior.

8. Forgive. Forgive yourself and others. Holding grudges steals your emotional and physical energy. It’s like carrying a ball and chain around your ankle.

9. Find a hobbie. Discover what you love to do. Acting, dancing, photography or painting are all better than another television show or computer game. Step out of your comfort zone and enjoy life.

10. Live without debt. Don’t spend more than you make. Create a budget and stick with it. Money is one of the top two reasons for a divorce. Debt ruins relationships and lives.

11. Laugh often. You can determine the health of a family or workplace by the amount of laughter that takes place. It has been proven that laughter heals. Read comics, joke books and watch comedy.

12. Exercise. Stay active. Move your body. Find exercise that you love and do it regularly. Volleyball, running, baseball, swimming and tennis can be exercise and fun. Find what fits you and get going.

13. Eat healthy. Choose fresh vegetables, fruits, nuts and grains. Avoid red meat.

It’s good for me to come across lists for better living like this one Tess Marshall created. Rarely do I find anything new. It is being reminded to better practice what I already know that I am grateful for.

By Tess Marshall http://theboldlife.com/2009/01/26-ways-to-love-life/
Tomorrow Part Two of Ms. Marshall’s “Twenty Six Ways To Love Life”

All the art of living lies
in a fine mingling
of letting go and holding on.
Henry Ellis

Two Ordinary People

DropTED is a favorite free website where I find content that moves me, causes me to think and marvel at the accomplishments some of the speakers. TED is a nonprofit organization devoted to “ideas worth spreading”. It started out in 1984 as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. The two annual TED conferences, in Long Beach/Palm Springs and Edinburgh, Scotland, bring together the world’s most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes or less).  The main conferences are augmented today by a number of smaller conferences around the world that the organization holds.

After not being there for over a month, last week I visited TED.com and found two new short videos (around 5 min) that touched my emotional core. One was  how something Hannah Brechner did on a lark turned into a life changing endeavor (for her and others). She always loved that her family communicated via handwritten letters. In October of 2010, Hannah began writing love letters intended for strangers and tucking them away in libraries and cafes across New York City, for people to randomly discover. Soon, she offered on her blog HannahKaty.com to write a letter to anyone who needed one. Over the next year, she mailed out more than 400 hand-penned letters.

Today she runs http://www.moreloveletters.com/, a letter exchange dedicated to connecting strangers across the globe through the art of letter writing.

Hannah
CLick here for Hannah’s story: http://www.ted.com/talks/hannah_brencher_love_letters_to_strangers.html

And then there’s TED Fellow and artist Candy Chang. In her New Orleans neighborhood she turned an abandoned house into a giant chalkboard asking a fill-in-the-blank question: “Before I die I want to ___.” Her neighbors’ answers, surprising, poignant and funny became an unexpected mirror for the community. (What’s your answer?)

before I die

Find Candy Changs story here: http://www.ted.com/talks/candy_chang_before_i_die_i_want_to.html

Just two ordinary people who started in small way to make a small difference who instead ended up changing lives every day. I am thankful for the humble feeling of gratitude I feel for such people who change the world a drop at a time and the inspiration they give me.

Never be afraid to do something new. Remember,
amateurs built the ark;
professionals built the titanic.
Unknown

Have a Great Day

stickman

Say something silly Laugh_by_burdge_bug

Laugh until it hurts laughing

Take a riskSkydiving

Sing out loudsing out loud copy

Tell a SecretSECRET __i__ll_tell_you_a_secret___by_syzizi-d4xs23n

Rock the boatsetickman boat

Shake things up_Stickman_black copy

Flirt with Disastertight-rope-walker-stickman-md copy

 Buy something FrivolousRegion Capture

 Color outside the linescolor_outside

 Cause a SceneMuscle on stickman

Make wavesmake wavesbook_waves_cp

 Get carried awaystickma

 Order Dessertstickman eating

  Have a great groovy daygroovy day

 Some times I am just grateful for another day!

Someone once told the this definition of Hell:
The last day you have on earth the person you become
will meet the person you could have become.
Unknown

The Remains of a Life Lived Well

Estate salePurely on a whim during my drive to work Friday I stopped at a house where an estate sale was going on. It was the 25% off on the direction signs that caught my eye. I did find a few treasures: two books, an unused light dimmer, an old sepia-tone photograph and a comforter with a musical notes motif I plan to give a musician friend for Christmas.

One-quarter off meant the estate sale was winding down by my visit and what remained was largely the “left overs”. With much gone from the home, it was easy to notice the house had not been updated for decades. Seeing a 40th high school class reunion program from 1983 told me at least one of the previous occupants of the house would likely be near 90 years old if they were still living.

Maybe it was the was the wallpaper that was starting to come unglued at the seams and tired look of the home interior. Maybe it was the long out-of-style women’s clothing in a very small size marked cheaply for sale. Or, possibly it was the fact that someone’s evidence of life was being sold and spread to the wind. But whatever it was, I was emotionally affected.

…Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word it always was. Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well. Rosamunde Pilcher

Walking through the estate sale house, most of all I felt was reverence for a life lived. What was still for sale in the kitchen told me who ever had lived there liked to entertain. A Dutch book in English about the art featured in the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam indicates the previous occupants liked to travel. A box of a large quantity of oil paint-stained art brushes of all sizes indicated someone not only like to view art, but also make it them self. This helped create an image to me of a real person who lived a real life.

Many African societies divide humans into three categories: those still alive on the earth, the sasha, and the zamani. The recently departed whose time on earth overlapped with people still here are the sasha, the living-dead. They are not wholly dead, for they still live in the memories of the living, who can call them to mind, create their likeness in art, and bring them to life in anecdote. When the last person to know an ancestor dies, that ancestor leaves the sasha for the zamani, the dead. As generalized ancestors, the zamani are not forgotten but revered. Many … can be recalled by name. But they are not the living-dead. There is a difference.” James w. Loewen.

I left the estate sale yesterday feeling sad for someone’s death, but came around today to believing I visited the remains of  life lived well. One of the treasures I purchased for seventy-five cents was an old sepia-toned photograph from a box of random black and white’s of various sizes. The image is at the top of this blog; an attractive woman in her early twenties in clothing that suggests her time was early in the twentieth century.

The woman in the photograph looks out through time and makes eye contact with me as I write. I am grateful to her for helping me humanize my estate sale experience yesterday and allowing me to bear witness she once lived.

We all leave traces of ourselves behind. I hope someday strangers will find the bits and pieces I have strewn about to be meaningful like the leave behinds I discovered yesterday.

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It’s the transition that’s troublesome.
Isaac Asimov

Any Fool Can Know…

truthAround eight years ago Deepak Chopra wrote “The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life”. I read when it was new, but upon reopening it realized most of the content had been forgotten. Research says we lose about 2/3’s of meaning of what we read within a few days. At best only about 10 percent remains long-term.

With Deepak’s book I doubt that I remembers 1% since I read it at a time of great turmoil in my life. Consequently, thumbing through my underlining in the book was an eye opener.  The moral of that realization?  Books can only reveal the broadest scope of their contents by repeated reads while in different frames of mind.

The concept of the book is described as: every life is a book of secrets, ready to be opened. The secret of perfect love is found there, along with the secrets of healing, compassion, faith, and the most elusive one of all: who we really are. We are still mysteries to ourselves, despite the proximity of these answers, and what we most long to know remains lodged deep inside.

The “second secret” in Deepak’s book contains what for me is a jewel of pure wisdom: I have no need to control anyone or anything: I can affect change by transforming the only thing that I ever had control of in the first place, which is myself.

The”fourth secret” covered in Chopra’s book is “What You Seek, You Already Are”. Here’s some of the passages I underlined:

  •   …seeking is another word for chasing after something.
  •   The spiritual secret that applies here is this: what you seek, you already are.
  •   The problem is that seeking begins with a false assumption.
  •   Seeking is doomed because it is a chase that takes you outside yourself.
  •   Don’t censor or deny what you feel: The road to freedom is not through feeling good; it is through feeling true to yourself.
  •   Be genuine …truth has the power to set aside what is false, and doing so can set us free.
  •   When I find myself being overshadowed by anything:
    * I say to myself, “This situation may be shaking me, but I am more than any situation.”
    * I take a deep breath and focus my attention on whatever my body is feeling.
    * I step back and see myself as another person would see me
    * I realize that my emotions are not reliable guides to what is permanent and real. …walk away.

Reading and learning something once is not enough. Only when the lesson and resulting knowledge sticks from practice and experience does it become meaningful. Intellectual knowledge unpracticed is actually a burden and a blinder that obscures my path and causes me to stumble while thinking “I know the way”.

Over and over and over… what I need comes into my path when I am open to receive it. It’s a repeated small miracle for how often that clarity has been shown to me recently. I get it; I ready do and accept the insight with much gratitude.

Any fool can know.
The point is to understand.
Albert Einstein

The Cloud and the Dune

A young cloud was born in the midst of a great storm over the Mediterranean Sea, but he did not even have time to grow up there, for a strong wind pushed all the clouds over towards Africa. As soon as the clouds reached the continent, the climate changed. A bright sun was shining in the sky and stretched out beneath them, lay the golden sands of the Sahara. Since it almost never rains in the desert, the wind continued pushing the clouds towards the forests in the south.

Meanwhile, as happens with young humans too, the young cloud decided to leave his parents and his older friends in order to discover the world. “What are you doing?” cried the wind. “The desert’s the same all over. Rejoin the other clouds, and we’ll go to Central Africa where there are amazing mountains and trees!”

But the young cloud, a natural rebel, refused to obey, and gradually, he dropped down until he found a gentle, generous breeze that allowed him to hover over the golden sands. After much to-ing and fro-ing, he noticed that one of the dunes was smiling at him.

He saw that the dune was also young, newly formed by the wind that had just passed over. He fell in love with her golden hair right there and then. “Good morning,” he said. “What’s life like down there?”

“I have the company of the other dunes, of the sun and the wind, and of the caravans that occasionally pass through here. Sometimes it’s really hot, but it’s still bearable. What’s life like up there?”

“We have the sun and the wind too, but the good thing is that I can travel across the sky and see more things.”

“For me”, said the dune, “life is short. When the wind returns from the forests, I will disappear.”

“And does that make you sad?”

“It makes me feel that I have no purpose in life.”

“I feel the same. As soon as another wind comes along, I’ll go south and be transformed into the rain; but that is my destiny.”

The dune hesitated for a moment, then said: “Did you know that here in the desert, we call the rain paradise?”

“I had no idea I could ever be that important,” said the cloud proudly.

“I’ve heard other older dunes tell stories about the rain. They say that, after the rain, we are all covered with grass and flowers. But I’ll never experience that, because in the desert it rains so rarely.”

It was the cloud’s turn to hesitate now. Then he smiled broadly and said: “If you like, I could rain on you now. I know I’ve only just got here, but I love you, and I’d like to stay here for ever.”

“When I first saw you up in the sky, I fell in love with you too”, said the dune. “But if you transform your lovely white hair into rain, you will die.” “Love never dies”, said the dune. “It is transformed , and besides, I want to show you what paradise is like.”

And he began to caress the dune with little drops of rain, so that they could stay together for longer, until a rainbow appeared. The following day, the little dune was covered in flowers. Other clouds that passed over, heading for Africa, thought that it must be part of the forest they were looking for and scattered more rain. Twenty years later, the dune had been transformed into an oasis that refreshed travelers with the shade of its trees.

And all because, one day, a cloud fell in love, and was not afraid to give his life for that love.

“The Cloud and the Dune” fable by priest and theologian Bruno Ferrero*, came to me unforeseen when doing a completely unrelated search. The story’s simplistic beauty and wisdom moved me to share this delightful teaching tale. For the second day in a row coincidence, or as I choose to think my Higher power, bought me an unexpected catalyst to grow my measure of morning gratitude.

True love is like ghosts,
which everybody talks about
and few have seen.
Francis Duc de La Rochefoucauld

*Find Bruno Ferrero’s blog “Circle of Joy” here: http://doina-touchinghearts.blogspot.com/2012/09/circle-of-joy-by-bruno-ferrero.html

The Place You Were Meant To Be

Yesterday my favorite used book store had a “buy two get one free” sale I took advantage of. One I picked up for a couple of dollars is called “It I Had My Life To Live Over…” Edited by Sandra Haldeman Martz. It’s a collections of stories, thoughts and poems by older woman as they reflect on their lives. The ‘title’ piece and the inspiration to buy the book is called “I’d Pick more Daisies” by Nadine Stair. It’s beautiful. Read for yourself.

If I had my life to live over, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip.

I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.

I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I’m one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.

I would go to more dances.

I would ride more merry-go-rounds.

I would pick more daisies.

Stop and see; slow down and notice. What really matters comes to me through small messages such as “I’d Pick More Daisies” crossing my path.  As I have slowly become more aware, without looking for them, reminders come regularly to heighten my awareness and point me forward.  It was the beginning of being “present” which was the hardest, but with that behind me a good way now, clarity comes consistently in small bits and pieces.  I am grateful for every one of them!

If you can see how limitless you really can be
without lessening someone else’s reputation,
values or experiences, then step forward
into the place you were meant to be.
Danielle Maylyn

May Your Prayer of Listening Deepen Enough

A grimy and smelly swamp is some of the most fertile ground on Earth. It nurtures growth with its hidden richness. In the slim of near putrid water the strongest roots must grow, made necessary by the weakness of the ground around. Human life can be this way. That thought was stated well by Edwin Hubbell Chapin close to a hundred and fifty years ago when he wrote:

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars.

Only in middle age has it become possible for me to reap the benefits of pain, heartache, and grief. Each bit of discomfort though did little to teach me within itself. What hurt, hurt! What broke my heart, did so, without little shown to me at the time except agony.

Julio Caesar wrote “Experience is the teacher of all things” and his statement was not incorrect. It is however, incomplete. What age has taught me over time was not just to feel, but to pay closer attention to what happened. In looking closely and discerning the ‘hows and whys” of sorrow and anguish, I learned. It is “Awareness” that has become my greatest teacher; the smoother of my heart and soul while a grinder of my misplaced beliefs and thoughts.

The BEST teacher is the conscious observing and relating to daily circumstances, then responding to it out of one’s own experience, being aware that this comes out of an old programming, which happened in one’s past. So also observing these reactions, one is able to decide to follow this track or to try a new way, what might guide to a new experience and triggering new unknown reactions to be observed and so allowing to get to know oneself. With other words: Life is the best teacher – if one opens up to it!

‘Experience’ not necessarily is a teacher and for sure not the most efficient, because experience mostly serves to confirm old experiences as being part of the self-image.
The best and most efficient teacher without doubt is one’s own awareness. But to be such, one has to step beyond one’s personality, only then there is a true ‘learning’ otherwise every thing experienced only serves to confirm one’s programmed personality, to survive with one’s narrow and limited self-image and world view.

To be able to go beyond one’s personality one must be so much stuffed with experience – in a very long evolutionary process – that there is nothing left to gain more satisfaction. And after being cooked in one’s own juice long enough, what might happen through a lot of suffering like personal tragedies, loss of family, bankrupt or long incurable disease, then the personality breaks down and gives space to do the first step beyond one’s self-centered existence. BeiYien http://falconblanco.com/beiyin/index.htm

Today I can’t damn or wish to push away any good or bad thing that has happened to me. To do so would be do deny a portion of who I am. All and everything that encompasses my life has been the mill that has produced the “me” I am today. While I would not willingly choose to endure many experiences and happenings a second time, I am grateful for them, one and all. Allowing ‘self’ to truly become “grist for the mill” brings glimpses of occasional enlightenment with growing propensity as I grown my awareness. These prescious insights are great gifts I am thankful for.

Like the joy of the sea coming home to shore,
May the relief of laughter rinse through your soul.
As the wind loves to call things to dance,
May your gravity be lightened by grace.
Like the dignity of moonlight restoring the earth,
May your thoughts incline with reverence and respect.
As water takes whatever shape it is in,
So free may you be about who you become.
As silence smiles on the other side of what’s said,
May your sense of irony bring perspective.
As time remains free of all that it frames,
May your mind stay clear of all it names.
May your prayer of listening deepen enough
to hear in the depths the laughter of God.
From “To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings”
by John O’Donohue,

Grateful In Greater Measure

This Thanksgiving morning I have spent about an hour reading email, sending holiday wishes and looking at the news of the day on-line while dimly in the back of my mind thinking about writing here. For this blog focused on gratitude, I first thought I wanted to leave some intricately bold and meaningful statement about the meaning of Thanksgiving. Instead the main theme my mind settled on is neither complicated or long. It’s only sixteen words:

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
“thank you,” that would suffice.
Meister Eckhart

Better than I have done on any previous Thanksgiving, my intention is to spend this day wrapped in a glow of sincere gratitude while asking for guidance in becoming an ever improving version of ‘me’.

There’s no record to be found for the original source or who wrote the piece just below. The words speak to the core of my being and state clearly my aspirations for living life well. I give humble thanks to the anonymous writer whose work so accurately reflects the philosophy of life I have adopted.

    • This is your life!
    • Do what you love. And do it often.
    • If you don’t like something, change it.
    • If you don’t like your job, quit. Now!
    • If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV.
    • If you are looking for the love of your life, stop. It will be waiting for you when you start doing thing you love to do.
    • Stop over analyzing, life is so simple.
    • All emotions are beautiful.
    • When you eat, appreciate every last bite.
    • Open you mind, heart and spirit to new things and to new people. We are united in our differences.
    • Ask the next person what you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them.
    • Travel often.
    • Some opportunities only come once. Seize them.
    • Getting lost will help you find your self.
    • Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them. So go out and start creating with them.
    • Life is short. Live your dream and share your passion.

My short prayer for today:
Maker of all things and higher power that guides me from the inside out;
May I learn to be grateful in greater measure for all that comes to me;
May I more clearly see that pain is necessary for a balanced life;
May I learn the lessons being taught to me with less resistance;
May all those I love know the depth of feeling in my heart for them;
And May I fear death less and embrace life more.
Amen.

Happy Day Before Thanksgiving Day

“Thanksgiving Day” by Linda Maria Child

Over the river and through the wood
To Grandmother’s house we go.
The horse knows the way
To carry the sleigh
Through white and drifted snow.

Over the river and through the wood
Oh, how the wind does blow!
It stings the toes
And bites the nose,
As over the ground we go.

Over the river and through the wood
To have a first-rate play.
Hear the bells ring,
Ting-a-ling-ling!
Hurrah for Thanksgiving Day!

Over the river and through the wood,
Trot fast, my dapple gray!
Spring over the ground
Like a hunting hound,
For this is Thanksgiving Day.

Over the river and through the wood,
And straight through the barnyard gate.
We seem to go
Extremely slow~
It is so hard to wait!

Over the river and through the wood~
Now Grandmother’s cap I spy!
Hurrah for fun!
Is the pudding done?
Hurrah for the pumpkin pie!

Oh, how things have changed inside me. The near 500 days I have sat here each morning expressing gratitude has altered me permanently for the better. I am softer, more open and introspective; calmer, more joyful and have greater peace than ever before. Best of all I love life and feel acutely alive. Emotions are just below my skin ready to comfort me or bring me feelings of all sorts. No longer do I hide from them. Good or bad, positive or negative I embrace the man that I am. My thanks giving this year includes gratefulness for ‘me’. I don’t think I have ever said that before! Wow!

I am grateful for what I am and have.
My thanksgiving is perpetual…
O how I laugh when I think
of my vague indefinite riches.
No run on my bank can drain it,
for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.
Henry David Thoreau