My Imperfectly Human Best

1043876_210391202449050_1194153786_nNow that my physical youth is mostly gone, it’s interesting to read what others wrote while young. Usually at the time a youthful writer puts down their thoughts with the belief that his or her vantage point can only be understood by someone about the same age. I once thought that but I was wrong. Much of my writing when I was in my teens and 20’s is remarkably still true here in my 50’s.

If you’re young you’ll find the following by an unknown writer to be quite meaningful I suspect. If you’re older, I have little doubt you’ll relate to what follows as I did. It reminds me that what was once felt as a young person, is still very much alive inside me today.

…at some point, you’re gonna sit in your bed all night and cry about everything that’s happened to you that day. you’re gonna have a day where everything goes perfect. nothing is ever going to go as it’s planned. you’re going to have a best friend then find out that they talk s#it about you behind your back. you’re going to meet the most amazing person in the world, fall in love, and then get left behind and forgotten about a month later. you’re going to go on vacation and miss everything about it when you leave. you’re going to have the best day of your life. you’re going to have moments where you feel like nothing could bring down and everything is perfect. you’re going to go to parties, and get taken advantage of. you’re going to get drunk and say something that you regret saying. you’re going to have someone who you share everything with, then slowly fade away from each other and eventually never talk again. you’re going to take pictures and think “what was I thinking?” a year later. you’re going to go on the most amazing trip and meet the most amazing people ever and then never talk to or see them again. you’re going to fall in and out of love. you’re going to tell someone something and it’s going to spread around. you’re going to read something that breaks your heart, but you can’t stop reading it over and over. you’re going to miss someone everyday but not do anything about it. you’re going to have awkward moments where you see someone and remember everything you’ve been through together. you’re going to be a bitch [bastard] to someone but not realize how much it affected them. you’re going to have to act like you don’t care when really, you’re heart-broken. you’re going to kiss people and regret it later. you’re going to miss a lot. don’t slow down. don’t have regrets. don’t live in the future. live for right now. smile. you’re young. and only getting older. don’t let anyone stop you.

The person I was at five, fifteen, twenty-five, thirty-five, forty-five and fifty-five years of age is still very much within me. Life has molded me into a composite of all my ages. There is enough insight gained to know the secret to some measure of contentment is to hold on tightly to the good and let go of the bad as quickly as possible. My silent motto is “learn what is to be learned and move on”. Doing my imperfectly human best at that, my heart, mind and soul has become filled with a wealth of wisdom. Life is still hard, but it is good. I am grateful to realize what matters most is inside me and nowhere else.

Knowledge is like an endless resource;
a well of water that satisfies the innate thirst
of the growing human soul.
Therefore never stop learning…
because the day you do,
you will also stop maturing.
Chidi Okonkwo