No Apologies, No Regrets

1961499_ce55_625x1000I faked it. I pretended. I spoke about it with words that were false. I made others think I was, when I wasn’t.

What was this “it” I fabricated, made up, manufactured, constructed and lied about?

The simple statement “I am proud of myself”. Now that such a proclamation can roll from my lips and be true, it is so easy to see how for so long I lacked the ability to have anything more than momentary self-pride.

You are your own best friend and your own biggest critic. Regardless of the opinions of others, at the end of the day the only reflection staring back at you in the mirror is your own. Accept everything about yourself – EVERYTHING! You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.

People who are proud of themselves tend to have passions in life, feel content and set good examples for others. It requires envisioning the person you would like to become and making your best efforts to grow.

Being proud isn’t bragging about how great you are; it’s more like quietly knowing that you’re worth a lot. It’s not about thinking you’re perfect – because nobody is – but knowing that you’re worthy of being loved and accepted. All you have to do is be yourself and live the story that no one else can live – the story of your own unique life. Be proud, be confident, you never know who has been looking at you wishing they were you.

Always thinking I was a work in progress that could not be appreciated until completed, beginning in my teen years I spent decades being dissatisfied with myself. Age has a way of increasing imperfection, especially physical ones, that set me up to either accept myself as I was or collapse under the weight of my self-dissatisfaction.

Ultimately both happened. I broke until the strain of my self-discontent and like an egg was cracked open to my own truth: I am wonderful and awful; I am brilliant and dim-witted; I am handsome and ugly; I thoughtful and hard-hearted; I am peaceful and restless; I warm to love and am cold to love at the same time. All these things exist simultaneously within to create the mosaic that is “me”. Gratefully, today, the former part of each statement rings more true that the latter.

The joy within glows with gratitude that I can now accept the perfectly imperfect being that I am. Today I accept wholly the man I am with “no apologies, no regrets”. With hope, effort and intention my perfection will grow, but only if I remain wholly cognizant and accepting of my imperfections.

Every second that you spend on doubting your worth,
every moment that you use to criticize yourself;
is a second of your life wasted,
is a moment of your life thrown away.
C. JoyBell C.