For a long time I internally felt inferior at company meetings and business gatherings. It always seemed there were so many smarter and more successful people around, that surely I did not belong. No matter how successful I became or how many plaudits were laid at my feet there was a sense of being counterfeit; that surely I lacked the brains and ability to belong. Of course, I was always mistaken but did not know it. Instead of seeing myself clearly I learned to fake confidence and assuredness. Only a select few were ever able to see past the facade worn by my cowering inner-self.
The erroneous sense of self started with how I was conditioned as a kid. However, no matter what my parents did or didn’t do they don’t deserve the majority of the blame for my lack of self-esteem. I do! My caregivers had control of my life for around a decade and a half. I’ve had it well over thirty years. The majority of making me feel inferior was self-induced.
In the vantage point of latter middle age, now it’s obvious the inferiority feelings were all smoke and illusion. It took a long time, but no longer do I feel like I don’t belong to the “club of successful professionals”. The total of who I am makes me the equal of ANYONE.
You are one thing only.
You are a Divine Being.
An all-powerful Creator.
You are a Deity
in jeans and a t-shirt,
and within you dwells
the infinite wisdom
of the ages
and the sacred
of all that is,
and ever was.
From “Devine Living:
The Essential Guide to Your True Destiny”
by Anthon St. Maarten
For what took decades to manifest, gratitude abounds within for the healthy self-esteem I enjoy today. I am less fearful, have more courage and generally feel like I can take on the world with a level of vigor previously unknown. As I often say now, the best is yet to come!
All I have learned in life really just boils down to this:
there is only one difference between the so-called wise
and the so-called foolish…and between those who are
truly happy and those who are not.
Those who are wise – and those who are happy –
embrace and appreciate life.
Those who are unhappy and unwise do not.
That is all; that is the only difference.