Grown-Ups Never Understand

This could be fiction that is actually true or truth that is really fiction. Or this could be a combination of both. Fact, fantasy or imaginary and in what parts does not matter for anyone the words fit, a little or a lot, will know I wrote this especially for them.

Once upon a time there was a little bitty girl who was happy and content. She smiled a lot, laughed easily and loved her life. There were reasons to be sad she had thankfully not discovered yet. She loved her mother and her grandmother was very special to her. The little girl had many happy days.

Soon the small girl was old enough to go to school. Before she began she had learned that having only a Mommy was not the life most kids lived. At school this difference became more obvious to her. She smiled on the outside as a general sadness took root and slowly grew stronger on the inside. The child felt different than other kids and did not value how special and unique she was.

She generally liked school and had plenty of friends. The girl moved through all circles of people from the in-crowd to the outcasts, while feeling she fit into none of them well. She smiled easily and often for a part of her was happy. She wanted people to see her happiness or at least as much of it as she could let herself feel. The girl kept the sadness that had taken root inside hidden away but each day it grew slowly within her.

As the girl became a young woman, she hoped the “one” would come along to sweep her off her feet and into the happiness she longed for. She yearned for the “happily ever after” that her Mother had not known and felt it was possible for her. Why the boys almost always ended up hurting her or mistreating her she could never figure out.

The girl grew into a woman who was a bright spot in any gathering. Outwardly cheerful with a sharp sense of humor she was viewed as a person who was very smart and in control of their destiny. They did not know that was the mask for the little girl inside who was sad, scared and felt unloved.

Now years and years into adulthood she no longer always hides her unhappiness. Those who know her see a good person but a cynical and emotionally withdrawn woman who is a bit angry with life. That is only the face she gives the world to scare possible hurts away. All she wants is to love and be loved.

The Little Girl Inside by Phoenixx

Little Girl,
I see you there,
Crying in a corner to yourself.
Little Girl,
I see how they treat you,
Like a piece of trash on the streets.
Little Girl,
I see how they’ve wronged you,
Kicking you to the curb.
Little Girl,
I see you there,
Crying in a corner to yourself.

Little Girl,
I hear you there,
Weeping and sobbing and moaning.
Little Girl,
I hear you there,
Praying for it all to end.
Little Girl,
I hear you there,
Telling yourself you’re not beautiful.
Little Girl,
I hear you there,
Weeping and sobbing and moaning.

Little Girl,
I feel you there,
In pain and in doubt inside.
Little Girl,
I feel you there,
Trying to hide from their cruel words.
Little Girl,
I feel you there,
Trying to stand up by yourself.
Little Girl,
I feel you there,
In pain and in doubt inside.

Little Girl,
I am here now,
Here to cry with you.
Little Girl,
I am here now,
To comfort your sorrows and pain.
Little Girl,
I am here now,
To tell you you’re beautiful.
Little Girl,
I am here now,
Here to cry with you.

All one has to do is change “she” to “he” and you have a story that fits some of my life. Today I am grateful for the childhood pain that softened me and made me sympathetic to other’s feelings. And even more so, my gratitude is large for the ability to finally be grown up enough to willingly let what I feel show.

Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves,
and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever
explaining things to them.
From “The Little Prince” by Saint-Exupéry

About James Browning

A seeker working to grow each day and be a better version of my self. Through sharing I commit myself deeper to my ideals and beliefs.
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