Almost exactly six months ago Esquire magazine published an articled on their website titled “1,000 Things You Don’t Know About Women”. Last night I stumbled across it while doing some on-line research on another topic. The description of the article on the website was: “We asked the women in our lives to share their secrets about sex, relationships, and what we’ve been doing wrong (and right) all these years. Four months after our special issue devoted to women — and with continuing help from you on Twitter — we’ve reached a thousand pieces of wisdom.”
Most of the thousand comments hit me as interesting, even fascinating, certainly educational and at times humorous, while insightful. I am appreciative of the women who responded so candidly. Most remarks were reminders of what five decades of paying attention to the opposite sex has taught me, although it was helpful being prompted to practice consistently what I know.
Some of the comments women were enlightening. One I will remember always is how to answer the proverbial question: “Does this dress make me look fat”.
No. 340: If that piece of clothing does indeed make us look fat, simply say, “It’s nice, but you don’t look comfortable in it.” Most of the time, it’s true. —Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco
Another comment was a cue for men to remember to tell women we love how attractive they are to us, no matter how long we’ve been together.
No. 77: We want you to think we are pretty. Every now and then, when we get all fixed up, act for a minute like we make it hard for you to breathe. — Shannon Purvis, 45, Novato, California
I learned the hard way, that secrets almost always become known eventually and secrets are poison that given time harm or kill a loving relationship.
No. 592: If you don’t want to tell us something, you probably should. We might find out from someone else, and that won’t be good. — Jenna Alice Loerop, 21, Chicago
Frequently I have tried to understand exactly where a woman I cared about was coming from when all I had to do was pay attention. On that subject, here is good advice from the Esquire “1,000 Things You Don’t Know About Women”.
No. 518: Sometimes we don’t need you to solve the problem; we just want you to listen. — Nicole Semonis, 22, Encinitas, California
No. 940: Four words that will turn away our wrath: “How can I help?” —Judith Brodnicki, 50, Omaha
It is not unusual for men to forgot to treat the woman they love as well we once did (women do this do too by the way, so reversing the gender in the comment also makes sense).
No. 23 We want you to never stop hunting us. Even if we married you. Remember why you got the gig. Don’t make the trailer the only fun in the whole production. That’s misleading. — Avril Dell, 46, Toronto
Here are six more comments from the Esquire article I randomly selected to include here:
No. 437: Even the most ardent feminist likes to be swept off her feet with an unplanned spontaneous romantic gesture. Trust me. —Jennifer Dewhirst Steshyn, 51, Lakeland, Florida
No. 69: When you play with my hair, you’re actually making love to me. Did you know that? —Babette Dickerson, 50, Shaker Heights, Ohio
No. 104: The girl who had a crush on you in the third grade probably still thinks about you once a week. Okay, twice. —Jennifer Smith, 34, Atlanta
No. 872: In regards to shirt buttons, here’s our advice: one open, you’re fine, two open, you’re cutting it close, three or more and you look like you belong on Tool Academy. — Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California
No. 50: No, it’s not all right that you didn’t plan anything for our birthday even though we told you not to. — Carla Michelle Coley, 24, Washington, D. C.
No. 40: We think you’re high maintenance, too. — Naomi Pabon-Figueroa, 25, Pittsburgh
I suppose the Esquire article leaned so heavily on comments by 20-something women due to that likely being the prime dating demographic. As I picked remarks to include today I intentionally leaned a bit toward women in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. Being in my 5th decade I was especially interested to learn what “older” (defined as more mature/experienced/full-grown/wiser, etc) women had to say.
The readers of this blog lean about 60% female and I am hopeful some of you will leave a comment here about “What Men Need to Know About Women” so I can post them. Men, you are just as welcome to leave your insights about women as well.
After two marriages and too many failed relationships over the years, I appreciate any input you care to share. Being in a new wonderful love relationship of about six months now, all helpful insights will be greatly appreciated.
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. Katharine Hepburn
Here’s a link to the Esquire article “1,000 Things You Don’t Know About Women: http://www.esquire.com/women/women-issue/funny-facts-about-women-0510