The Hardest Lessons

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Things will change:
you won’t feel this way forever.
And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons
to learn are the ones your soul needs most.
I believe you can’t feel real joy
unless you’ve felt heartache.
You can’t have a sense of victory
unless you know what it means to fail.
Kelly Cutrone

Posted in Embracing life, Insight, Lessons learned the hard way, Life | Tagged , ,

I’m Stepping Through the Door…

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We passed upon the stair,
we spoke of was and when
Although I wasn’t there,
he said I was his friend,
which came as some surprise
I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone
a long long time ago…
The Man Who Sold the World

I’m not a prophet or a stone aged man,
just a mortal with potential of a superman.
I’m living on.
Quicksand

I’m stepping through the door,
And I’m floating in a most peculiar way.
And the stars look very different today.
Space Oddity

I don’t know where I’m going from here,
but I know it won’t be boring.
comment on stage 1998 Madison Sq. Garden

I didn’t know the man, but I knew his art well. I was not a fan of everything he did, but have great respect for the spirit he did it with. Bowie’s work was innovative, creative, unusual and imaginative. He never stopped pushing the envelope. So rare…

Rest in peace David… thank you for all you gave us of yourself.

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Posted in Beyond the obvious, Courage, Living life well | Tagged , ,

The Greatest Blessings of Mankind are Within

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True happiness is to enjoy the present,
without anxious dependence upon the future,
not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears
but to rest satisfied with what we have,
which is sufficient,
for he that is so wants nothing.
The greatest blessings of mankind are within us
and within our reach.
A wise man is content with his lot,
whatever it may be,
without wishing for what he has not.
Seneca

Posted in Good Advice, Life, What really matters, Wisdom | Tagged , ,

Today

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I have learned over a period of time to be almost unconsciously grateful–as a child is–for a sunny day, blue water, flowers in a vase, a tree turning red. I have learned to be glad at dawn and when the sky is dark. Only children and a few spiritually evolved people are born to feel gratitude as naturally as they breathe, without even thinking. Most of us come to it step by painful step, to discover that gratitude is a form of acceptance. Faith Baldwin

Posted in Life, Seeing 'what is', Thankfulness | Tagged , ,

25 Pieces Of Spot-On Marriage Advice From People Who’ve Been There

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1. Choose to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

2. Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling. When possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.

3. Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships,” so consistently invest time into your marriage.

4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage. Remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

5. Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy. And even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.

6. In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You’re partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

7. Realize that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.

8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it.

9. Remember that marriage isn’t 50/50 — divorce is 50/50. Marriage has to be 100/100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got.

10. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.

11. Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique.

12. Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.

13. Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.

14. Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.

15. When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

16. When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly. This will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”

17. Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important than your schedule.

18. Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands, and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.

19. Be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not his/her biggest critic. Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them.

20. Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.

21. Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits.

22. Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.

23. Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.

24. When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time.

25. Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yourtango/25-pieces-of-spot-on-marriage-advice_b_8917732.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063
This article originally appeared on YourTango.

To be fully seen by somebody,
then, and be loved anyhow –
this is a human offering
that can border on miraculous.
Elizabeth Gilbert

Posted in Good Advice, Love, Romantic relationships | Tagged , ,

Right In Front of My Nose

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My wishes for us all in this New Year were found right in front of my nose  on my fireplace hearth:

“Peace Stone” – A gift from a friend who had many times heard my answer to the question, “What do you wish for most?”.

“Hope Stone” – Given to me when I was going through a very difficult time by a loved one. The present helped a lot.

“God Is Love” – From a recovery friend who inscribed the stone and gifted it to me on one of my anniversaries in Codependents Anonymous. He remembered me sharing how this phrase got me through an extraordinarily tough time.

Heart votive candle holder – Found at an estate sale and a reminder to keep my heart stronger that my thoughts.

Dark round rock – Memento from an inspiring and life altering sabbatical.

White rock – From the mountains of Alabama where I grew up. A reminder of my humble roots and to not “get too big for my britches” as was often said to me growing up.

I wish you peace and hope with the memory that God is love. May you hold memories strong in your heart of the joy and happiness you have felt and the pain and grief that taught you. And may you never forget where you came from.

It’s being here now that’s important.
There’s no past and there’s no future.
Time is a very misleading thing.
All there is ever, is the now.
We can gain experience from the past,
but we can’t relive it;
and we can hope for the future,
but we don’t know if there is one.
George Harrison

Posted in Life, Memories, What really matters, Wisdom | Tagged , ,

What’s In You

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From a blog by Mark Mason
http://markmanson.net/stop-trying-to-be-happy

Posted in Embracing life, Life as it really is | Tagged , ,

Few Minds More Brilliant

quotes-platoIn history, there have been few minds more brilliant than that of the Greek philosopher, Plato. I mean, consider a man who was the student of Socrates and the teacher to Aristotle. Plato is one of the founding fathers of what we know to be Western Philosophy. The contributions that Plato has made on the minds of anyone who has studied him are truly timeless in nature. Here is a collection of 30 of his greatest quotes:

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

“Courage is knowing what not to fear.”

“Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.”

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.”

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”

“The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.”

“Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”

“The heaviest penalty for declining to rule is to be ruled by someone inferior to yourself.”

“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”

“Love is a serious mental disease.”

“Never discourage anyone…who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.”

“One of the penalties of refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.”

“Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws”

“I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.”

“There is truth in wine and children”

“Ignorance, the root and stem of every evil.”

“I’m trying to think, don’t confuse me with facts.”

“If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things.”

“…and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment…”

“The measure of a man is what he does with power.”

“Those who tell the stories rule society.”

“The madness of love is the greatest of heaven’s blessings”

“Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge. ”

“There are three classes of men; lovers of wisdom, lovers of honor, and lovers of gain.”

“Education is teaching our children to desire the right things.”

“When men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them.”

“There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.”

“In politics we presume that everyone who knows how to get votes knows how to administer a city or a state. When we are ill… we do not ask for the handsomest physician, or the most eloquent one.”

“How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?”

http://iheartintelligence.com/2015/12/28/quotes-plato/

Posted in Attitude, Beyond the obvious, Insight, Life | Tagged , ,

Love Is The Only Thing

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Posted in Life, Love, Maturity | Tagged , ,

Channels for Sharing

 

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To those who love me:

Had I been told as a teenager my life would turn out this well, I wouldn’t have believed it. While no stranger to pain and heartache, so much good has come to me through the years. I’m grateful. However, it’s so easy to let gratefulness become more knowledge than a sense of things. Grateful can unconsciously become more noun than verb. True gratitude should be action in the present. I’m relearning that.

Being blessed with comfort and possessions, I humbly ask any loved one who is considering giving me a gift for Christmas to reconsider the item. Instead of buying a gift do something simple: give to someone in need, make a craft; a meal (or certificate for one in the future); written good luck wished in a bottle thrown from shore; a kind word of appreciation; share time together;  remember to call on the holiday or any effort that is given from the heart and not a store rack. And if all you do is think of me kindly on the holiday that will be more than enough.

My most hoped for gifts this holiday season are to love and be loved. For every smidgen of affection and caring I receive year round, I am grateful.

We are not cisterns made for hoarding;
we are channels made for sharing.
Billy Graham

Posted in Friends, Hopes and Dreams, Love | Tagged , ,