Romance is Empty. I Want to Taste Real Love.

6940148192_c86fa810cd_zI love romance.

I will always love romance.

A cheek to cheek tango wearing nothing but moonlight while stepping on a soft mountain of rose petals is pretty much what I’d rather be doing at all times.

The sweeping breathlessness, the fluttering hearts, the sweaty crescendo of kisses.

Mmm!

It all goes straight to my head like cheap champagne, making my face flush, knees shake.

But, delectable as it is, romance served alone is ultimately empty.

Almost anyone can lure us in with a box of dark chocolate truffles, an adoring compliment and a blossoming bouquet of red roses.

But, love—juicy, pure, real love—is something entirely different.

I did not always know this.

I used to be a romance-junkie, a red-lipstick wearing thrill-seeker, a high-heeled pleasure addict.

I chased after lovers like it was my full-time job.

I chased so hard for so long that I lost myself.

I traveled to the depths of despair and buried my soul in blankets of worthlessness and self-hatred.

I thought I might never make it out alive.

Finally, after far too many years, I had enough.

So I set myself on fire and sat in the scorching flames of transformation.

And, I transformed.

I became courageous enough to taste what I had always truly wanted—real love.

I sank my hungry teeth into it, and the juicy, nourishing nectar filled my mouth.

Warmth spread throughout my limbs and I saw real love.

I saw what it is.

And I saw what it isn’t.

I saw that real love is not a bouquet of red roses, a sweet kiss, a mind game, a glass of extra-bubbly champagne, a flirty e-mail, or a sexy glance.

No.

Real love is raw, pure and breathtaking in its simplicity.

It’s a spiritual adventure, a f*cking crazy journey, a completely transformative experience.

Real love dives deep, looks directly into your soul, sees exactly who you are—and wouldn’t change a damn thing.

It cherishes the deliciousness of every perfectly imperfect part of you.

Because mostly, it just wants to gaze into your eyes and kiss your soul.

And never stop kissing your soul.

It wants to ask, “How are you?” and listen to every single syllable of the long-winded answer.

It wants to know your secrets and your shame, gently peeling back each shiny layer to get to your core.

Oh, how it longs to peak at your luscious core.

Real love grabs on fiercely and holds you hard as f*ck, but is wildly unafraid to set you free.

It’s intensely compassionate, unfreezing even the most stubborn icicles in your heart.

It helps you heal without even trying.

It has the courageousness of a brave soldier and the softness of a nurturing mother.

Real love takes a shit with the door wide open.

It forces you out of hiding.

Because the things you used to hide are the things it admires the most.

Real love bleeds truth, honesty and talks about the things you’re too scared to talk about.

But, most of all,

Real love doesn’t walk off into the sunset, it walks directly into your life.

I will always adore romance.

But, real, pure, juicy love is worth a thousand violin sonatas and starry-eyed kisses.

Real love is raw and satisfying.

Real love is real.

And, more than anything, I want real.

Author: Sarah Harvey – Editor: Travis May – Photo: Juliana Coutinho http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/02/romance-is-empty-i-want-to-taste-real-love/

 

Posted in Hopes and Dreams, Life, Love, Romantic relationships | Tagged , ,

Make the Darkness Part

If you had a person in your life
treating you the way you treat yourself,
you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago…
Cheri Huber

Posted in Living life well, Self Awareness, What really matters | Tagged , ,

Look Closer

old manI came across this on-line and knew nothing of its authenticity. So I did a little research and found generally the free form poem is considered a “hoax” and not necessarily written by a “cranky old man”. Regardless of who wrote it and why, there is wisdom contained within. As one transitioning from the late fall to the early winter season of life I was touched by the realities highlighted many old-timers have quietly thought and felt.

Amongst his belongings, the memories of an entire life, they found this poem:

What do you see nurses? What do you see? What are you thinking, when you look at me? A cranky old man, not very wise, What are you thinking, when you look at me? A cranky old man, not very wise, Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes? Who dribbles his food and makes no reply. When you say in a loud voice, “I do wish you’d try!” Who seems not to notice, the things that you do. And forever is losing… a sock or a shoe? Who, resisting or not lets you do as you will, With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill? Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see? Then open you eyes, nurse.

You’re not looking at me. I’ll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still, As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will. I’m a small child of 10, with a father and mother, Brothers and sisters, who love one another. A young boy of sixteen, with wings on his feet Dreaming that soon now, a lover he’ll meet. A groom soon at twenty, my heart gives a leap, Remembering the vows, that I promised to keep. At 25, now I have young of my own, Who need me to guide, and a secure happy home.

A man of thirty, my young now grown fast, Bound to each other, with ties that should last. At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone, But my woman is beside me, to see that I don’t mourn. At fifty once more, babies play ’round my knee, Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my wife is now dead. I look at the future, I shudder with dread. For my young are all rearing young of their own, And I think of the years, and the love that I’ve known. I’m now an old man, and nature is cruel, It’s jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart, There is now a stone, where once I had a heart. But inside this old carcass a young man still dwells, and now and again, my battered heart swells. I remember the joys, I remember the pain, And I’m loving and living, life over again.I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast, And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people, open and see: Not a cranky old man, Look closer, see ME!

I wept for relationships not possible
due to denial and dreams locked
in the back of people’s minds,
all of the bits of life
that lay dormant until
the babblings of televisions
and nursing homes sweep them away.
It makes me wonder how many of the dreams
we had originally have already been forgotten.
Christopher Hawke

Posted in Aging, Alone, Life | Tagged , ,

Love Set On Fire

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How deliciously torturous it is to burn brightly with romantic love for another human being. How humbly satisfying it is when that person is on fire for you at the same time in the same way.

Far beyond companionship, physical attraction, and infatuation there is a rare and elusive kind of love that makes mortal cravings, needs and desires secondary.

The only thing predictable about such an extraordinary love is it’s unpredictability. You may seek and want it, but no amount of looking will lead you to its discovery.

Instead of searching for that fire between two souls to find you, live your life in a meaningful way true to your self. No matter how old you are… grow up, get healthy, and be true to your ideals without expecting perfection. Get the upper hand on your demons, and live with kindness and gratitude.

Don’t get bogged down in over-work, constant activity, partially fulfilling relationships, broken marriages and hollow flings because such behaviors steal your time and blind you emotionally and spiritually. Live with intention and let go of what does not fit you.

Pay attention. Step past your fears. Accept that you will never be completely ready, but do the best (truly best) you can to grow and improve. Be open and aware for the rare chance of a mutual love set on fire or it will go unnoticed. It’s momentary appearance will be ill-timed. You won’t even be aware of it.

If you’re capable of loving with your entire being then just maybe you’ll be looking in the proper direction to notice the arrival of a momentary spark that sets the same lasting flame in your heart and another.

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul
and makes us reach for more,
that plants a fire in our hearts
and brings peace to our minds.
Nicholas Sparks

True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion.
It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep.
It looks beyond mere externals,
and is attracted by qualities alone.
It is wise and discriminating,
and its devotion is real and abiding.
Ellen G. White

Posted in Life

All That Matters

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Life was a bloody battlefield
until I conquered the enemy
and won the war.

Now, life is a journey,
and I am a warrior.
Prepared for anything
and weakened by nothing.

There are hills and dales,
mountains and plateaus,
blind spots and brilliant vistas,
but none of that matters.

All that matters is my second chance,
and the only thing capable of disrupting my path,
is myself.
From “Death and Life” by B.G. Bowers

Miracles were just second chances
if you really thought about it–
second chances when all hope was lost.
Kava McLaren

Posted in Life, Not Giving Up, The Future, The Past | Tagged , ,

No Greater Blessing

Two-Guys

True friends are rare. They are are the family we choose and those who choose us. There is no blessing greater than a true friend.

My Best Friend! by Jana C. Souder

I can’t give solutions to all of life’s problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can’t change your past with all its heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can’t keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can’t prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can’t give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can’t keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can’t tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

For the true friends who came and went, I thank you. For the true friends who came and stayed, I thank you ever more.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
Henri J.M. Nouwen

Posted in Friends, Life, Living life well | Tagged , ,

The Human Condition

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Do you have too much love in your life? What about tenderness? Gentleness? Do you live with an excess of joy? Is there a surplus of luck in your life? Do things go your way too often? Are you winning too much? Do you have too much money, time or peace? I doubt it.

Now flipping the subject, are you more lonely than you’d prefer? Is there not as much love in your life as you would prefer? Is there a shortage of tenderness or gentleness? Do you wish there was more joy in you life and that things would go your way more often? Do you wish for money, more time or peace beyond what you have? Don’t worry about saying “yes” to some or all those questions.

It is the human condition. It’s okay to want, need, desire and hope as long as such yearnings do not cause you to make choices untrue to yourself.

I believe in the ability to choose.
I believe this life is made up of our choices
and their consequences— the good and the bad.
I do not believe in letting anything up to fate.
We are the makers of our own destinies,
our own futures, our own paths.
To blindly follow is an insult
to the miracle of being human.
To be human is to make choices;
the moment you allow others
to make decisions for you
is the moment
you do an injustice to
not only mankind but to yourself.
Kelseyleight Reber

Posted in Life as it really is, Overcoming Obstacles, Perspective | Tagged , ,

Wisdom Is NOT a Product of Thought

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Most people spend their entire life imprisoned within the confines of their own thoughts. They never go beyond a narrow, mind-made, personalized sense of self that is conditioned by the past.

In you, as in each human being, there is a dimension of consciousness far deeper than thought. It is the very essence of who you are.

How easy it is for people to become trapped in their conceptual prisons.

The human mind, in its desire to know, understand, and control, mistakes its opinions and viewpoints for the truth. It says: this is how it is. You have to be larger than thought to realize that however you interpret “your life” or someone else’s life or behavior, however you judge the situation, it is not more than a viewpoint, one of many possible perspectives. It is not more than a bundle of thoughts.

Wisdom is NOT a product of thought. The deep knowing that is wisdom arises through the simple act of giving someone or something your full attention. Attention is primordial intelligence, consciousness itself. From the book “Stillness Speaks” by Elkhart Tolle

Want less,
live more.
Benny Bellamacina

Posted in Beyond the obvious, Life, Seeing 'what is', What really matters | Tagged , ,

Today is Your Day

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” Life” by Susan Polis Schutz

dreams can come true
if you take the time to
think about what you want in life

get to know yourself
find out who you are
choose your goals carefully

be honest with yourself
always believe in yourself

find many interests and pursue them
find out what is important to you
find out what you are good at

don`t be afraid to make mistakes
work hard to achieve successes
when things are not going right
don`t give up – just try harder
give yourself freedom to try out new things
laugh and have a good time

open yourself up to love
take part in the beauty of nature
be appreciative of all that you have
help those less fortunate than you
work towards peace in the world

live life to the fullest
create your own dreams and
follow them until they are a reality

Congratulations!
Today is your day!
You’re off to great places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
Dr. Seuss

Posted in Embracing life, Good Advice, Life, Wisdom | Tagged , ,

On the Day I Die

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Following Post by John Pavlovitz. Visit his great blog here: Link

On the die I day a lot will happen.

A lot will change.

The world will be busy.

On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.

The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.

The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.

All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.

The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me.

The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.

All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted.

My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always been anyway.

Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over; about my waistline or hairline or frown lines, will fade away.

My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.

The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.

All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.

The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.

These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.

Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.

On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.

They will feel a void.

They will feel cheated.

They will not feel ready.

They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.

And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me.

I know this from those I love and grieve over.

And so knowing this, while I am still alive I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.

I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die, because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.

Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections.

They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating Now with those who love you and want only to share it with you.

Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.

It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.

Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you believe matters, because on the day you die, much of it simply won’t.

Yes, you and I will die one day.

But before that day comes: let us live.

 

There is no knowledge so hard
to acquire as the knowledge
of how to live this life
well and naturally.
Michel de Montaigne

Posted in Life | Tagged , ,