self-awareness
The Way You Think About Yourself
“You can’t hate your way into loving yourself” is a line I came across recently. It stopped me in my tracks because I tried that.. a lot. Boy, did I! My self-loathing was long, pervasive and strong. Too much about me I found fault with for far, far too long.
That habit (and it is a habit) is not completely gone, but greatly diminished today. It took gritting my teeth and fighting my own BS over and over and over. But in time I got better. More acceptance of me just the way I am arrived slowly but surely.
For so long I looked outside me to fix what was in. My #1 way of trying to cure myself was through relationships… many of them. I saw their faults and amplified them, while diminishing my own. Finding fault repeatedly, even unnecessarily, within a love relationship will eventually either drive the person away or at the least will wound the love that is shared.
I had to learn:
1. The moment you realize that the person you cared for has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you, but a headache.
2. The moment you realize God had greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or sad.
3. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others because it undermines your worth, education and your parent’s wisdom.
4. The moment you live your dreams, not because of what it will prove or get you, but because that is all you want to do. People’s opinions don’t matter.
5. The moment you realize that no one is your enemy, except yourself.
6. The moment you realize that you can have everything you want in life. However, it takes timing, the right heart, the right actions, the right passion and a willingness to risk it all. If it is not yours, it is because you really didn’t want it, need it or God prevented it.
7. The moment you realize the ghost of your ancestors stood between you and the person you loved. They really don’t want you mucking up the family line with someone that acts anything less than honorable.
8. The moment you realize that happiness was never about getting a person. They are only a helpmate towards achieving your life mission.
9. The moment you believe that love is not about losing or winning. It is just a few moments in time, followed by an eternity of situations to grow from.
10. The moment you realize that you were always the right person. Only ignorant people walk away from greatness. Shannon L. Alder
In the book “There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate” Cheri Huber wrote “If you had a person in your life treating you the way you treat yourself, you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago…” Why it took so long to see that I will never know.
Today I am grateful to have healthy self-esteem. I don’t get on my own case like I used to. Oh, yes the judge and jury in my head is still there, I just keep them out for recess most of the time. I am very grateful for that learned ability.
The way you think about yourself
determines your reality.
You are not being hurt by the way
people think about you.
Many of those people are
a reflection of how
you think about yourself.
Shannon L. Alder
You Have to….
Life will break you.
Nobody can protect you from that,
and living alone won’t either,
for solitude will also break you with its yearning.
You have to love.
You have to feel.
It is the reason you are here on earth.
You are here to risk your heart.
You are here to be swallowed up.
And when it happens that you are broken,
or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near,
let yourself sit by an apple tree
and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps,
wasting their sweetness.
Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.
Louise Edrich “The Painted Drum”
Principles
Obey the principles
without being bound by them.
Bruce Lee
The Fault Lies Within Yourself
If you look at your life and compare it to most others, you would find it hard to even begin to complain. I live by the will-it-matter-in-five-years rule. When something happens that makes you upset, ask yourself that question, and you will find that most of the time the answer is no. I think that a lot of people give themselves way too many things to worry about when half of those worries really shouldn’t matter at all. Sometimes, the answer will be yes, and this helps you to understand that whatever it is you’re upset about is clearly important and deserves to be well thought through. Yes, we get upset, but taking a step back and looking at a problem on a bigger scale can help you realize that there are only a few things that really do matter. From an article by Shelby Doherty http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shelby-doherty/life-lessons_b_3758774.html
When you rise in the morning,
give thanks for the light,
for your life, for your strength.
Give thanks for your food
and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason to give thanks,
the fault lies in yourself.
Tecumseh
Truer than True
I’m just ME!
I’m not perfect, I’m me.
I’ve made bad decisions and wrong choices, but I’m me.
I’ve said the wrong things; I’ve said the right things, because I’m me.
I don’t like everything I’ve done, but I did it because I’m me.
I’ve loved the wrong people
and trusted the wrong people and I’m still me.
If I had a chance to start again, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Why? Because I’m me.
There are a lot of good things about me;
you just need to look past the imperfections to see what’s right.
If you can’t do that then it’s your loss.
I’m the best I can be. I am ME!
unknown
And finally… finally… Being just me is enough. I am so glad and grateful!
I am lovable and each day
it becomes easier for me to love myself.
Vikrant Parsai
Forward…
Let others lead small lives, but not you.
Let others argue over small things, but not you.
Let others cry over small hurts, but not you.
Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.
Jim Rohn
The Little Voice
We can’t be afraid of change.
You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in,
but if you never venture out of it,
you will never know that there is
such a thing as an ocean, a sea.
Holding onto something that is good for you now,
may be the very reason why
you don’t have something better.
C. JoyBell C.
Better To Have Lived in Truth
There’s the little empty pain of leaving something behind – graduating, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown. There’s the big, whirling pain of life upending all of your plans and expectations. There’s the sharp little pains of failure, and the more obscure aches of successes that didn’t give you what you thought they would. There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up. The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn. There’s the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.
And if you’re very, very lucky, there are a very few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realized that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, an instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last – and yet will remain with you for life.
Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it’s a big part, and sometimes it isn’t, but either way, it’s a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you’re alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another. Jim Butcher
I regret the times I damned my pain or prayed for it to be gone. At that moment I did not realize I was being sculpted by discomfort into a better and wiser man. In hindsight that sort of growth reminds me of being an adolescent boy when I woke with my legs hurting so much from growing overnight that they could barely support me. But once I walked for a few minutes, the aches subsided quickly. I was simply growing.
And so I have gratefully begun to better accept the outcome of pain, although the bearing of it will never be something positively anticipated. It is through allowing grief, sorry and anguish to do their work that I become wiser and through that wisdom, grow more content.
We never know when our last day on earth will be.
So, love with full sincerity, believe with true faith,
and hope with all of your might.
Better to have lived in truth and discovered life,
than to have lived half heartedly
and died long before you ever ceased breathing.
Cristina Marrero
Whatever Life Throws At You
This is what you don’t do.
Don’t let this world make you bitter.
Don’t let the actions of other people turn you cold on the inside.
Certain things happen that hurt us, people come that leave us,
and most of all there are moments when you’re bound to fall.
Don’t let those things make you unkind.
It’s okay to cry.
It’s okay to be sad.
But it’s never okay to do other people wrong
just because you were done wrong.
We’re human.
We break.
We make mistakes.
But don’t let pain and sadness run your lives.
Wake up in the morning and do what you think is right.
There are moments in your life where you feel like giving up
and you can’t take it anymore.
It’s okay.
Breathe.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I know you’re weak.
But the things that show your weak side
are also the same ones that make you stronger in the long run.
It’s all about taking whatever life throws at you and learning from it.
https://www.facebook.com/joyofmom
Today is just an ordinary day; a good day. I am feeling a little melancholy because my son who came to visit for several days went home yesterday. The woman I love and live with is at work, so it’s just me and Fred, the dog, at home. I rested well last night and got more sleep that usual (helped me catch up from going all weekend). But I was dragging a little.
There is much serendipity in life if one’s aware enough to notice. I needed a little pick-me-up… just a small one and found it in the joyofmom post above this morning. Thanks “Mom” I needed that.
Be soft.
Do not let the world make you hard.
Do not let pain make you hate.
Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.
Take pride that even though the rest of the world
may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/pleasefindthis
Good Morning Gratitude 