feelings

Cymbal Crashes of Inspiration

/ James Browning

For better or worse, I’m something of a walking encyclopedia of sayings, paraphrased paragraphs, quips and passed-down bits of wisdom. When life has been the toughest I have sought such leave-behinds of others to help me through. When life has been wonderful I reach for someone else’s collected thought to help me express my appreciation. When life is just in between I look for another’s words that better pick me up than my own thoughts do at that moment. Here are three worth sharing with hope they give you the same sort of inspiration and introspection they give me.

Thoughts of just giving up or not trying are as common to me as stars. When that sort of funk hits me, I pull out a handy “weapon of words” that helps me fight my negative thinking.

The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized – never knowing. Jim Rohn

When asked “how are you?”, my usual response is “all days are good, some are just better than others”. When I am up, it takes me higher. When I’m down saying that to someone picks me up. It doesn’t matter to me if what I say appears a bit ‘Pollyanna’ to others.  I like being happy! 

The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It’s more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted. No one is careful of his feelings or tries to keep his spirits high. He seems self-sufficient; he becomes a cushion for others. And because happiness seems unforced, that person usually gets no credit. Gretchen Rubin

In spite of my spiritual work and keeping my feet on a path of attempting to constantly improve myself as a human being, I get knocked down. I get hurt, frustrated, fearful, worried and a litany of related emotions beat on me just like other people. It’s in those times I am reminded a life well lived is one where much has been risked.

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. C.S. Lewis

I am deeply grateful to all the men and women who took the time to write down their thoughts that through miles and time come to me as cymbal crashes of inspiration, whispered encouragements and moments of peaceful understanding.

If we all did the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.
Thomas A. Edison

It’s Doing that Matters

/ James Browning

Conditioning for hundreds of years has left modern western culture with a vile neurosis: the belief that happiness must be “earned” and can be obtained only through enduring unpleasantness such as drudgery,grief, misery, pain and discomfort. If a person chooses that route to “happy” how is it possible to know when one has suffered enough and deserves happiness? 

There is a second rule believed deep down by many, but never spoken: responsible adults never endure enough unpleasantness to truly be worthy of happiness.

Then there’s a third rule spoken constantly by advertising: spending money will make you happy. That’s akin to candy coating a rotten apple, then trying to enjoy eating it.

Like a hamster on a wheel it is the way of the majority of Americans to never stop working, never stop spending money and to never be really happy.

One of the definitions of “slave” is completely subservient to a dominating influence.   

NEWS FLASH: It is impossible to suffer your way to happiness. Being a slave won’t get it done!

ADVICE TO SELF:

1 – Remember, happiness comes from being grateful for what “is” and living in the current moment.

2 – Happiness is not attained. It never comes from grabbing at what I do not have. It comes from finding contentment with what I DO have.

3 – The future will look at lot like today does. If I can’t find a way to allow happiness to come to me now, not much of it will find me in the future either.

4 – Being happy is NOT about the absence of difficulty and heartache. It’s about feeling the full scope of what lies beyond and outside of my troubles.

This morning I am grateful this line of thinking came to me on the first full day of this new birth year. More than ever it is my intention to live well. Achieving that is not just about knowing what to do. That is only a small part of accomplishing the life I need and want. Thinking, talking and knowing what to do is hallow compared to actually practicing it. It’s DOING that matters!

Don’t talk… do.
Don’t complain… do.
Don’t make excuses… do.
Craig Jarrow

A Multi-Colored Continuum

/ James Browning

At four years old I had all the world I wanted: Davy Crockett gloves with fringe, a tricycle, parents I still thought were cool and grandparents who fussed over their oldest grand boy. The world was a giant mystery that I was busy discovering. Each morning I woke up liking life.

With no kindergarten where I grew up, the day I was thrust into first grade was scary. I didn’t want to be there. Quiet and withdrawn, in time I found a good friend that got me through. The buddy was school that came easy. I liked succeeding at something and being appreciated for it.

Before I knew it the age of ten rolled around. This was the year life began to bring real disappointment and even fear as a “nasty stepfather” came into my life. I learned to dislike and even hate through how he treated my brother and I. The lesson was some people truly are evil.

It was a Sunday afternoon and I was thirteen when something never felt before came over me. A magnetic attraction toward a girl was sparkling new and near startling, but felt deliciously daring. I didn’t understand what was going on but I liked what I was feeling during that sweet and innocent afternoon.

In what felt like only a month, two more years passed and almost abruptly I was sixteen years old, had a car (a blue VW) and was ‘in love’ for the first time. I witnessed an amazing sense of being vibrantly alive before the coin flipped to introduce me to romantic heartbreak for the first time six months later.

The world began to go crazy. I was kicked out of home for reasons I don’t understand even today. I was a good kid, a Boy Scout and an honor student but the “evil pretend father” feared me after I stood up to him the first time. He took my car and pushed me out of the house.  Walking down the street with a suitcase and enough money for a motel and food for two days was one of the most fearful moments I’ve ever experienced.

The words I spoke in the phone booth were “I have no place to go. Can I come live with you?”. On the other end of the line was my birth father who was near a complete stranger.  I had seen him only twice since I was seven years old. From two hundred miles away came the word “yes” and one of the best years of my growing up began; my senior year of high school.

Looking back at the plethora of emotions touching me for the first time, my memory is clear of how bewildering life was during those formative years. At the same time I felt vibrantly alive during the ups and downs. Living was filled with near constant firsts and fresh experiences and quite possibly the deepest range of joy and unhappiness ever experienced. Each and every one was a tile in the mosaic of the person I am today.

In recent years the view has arrived of seeing life as a multi-colored continuum instead of separate individual experiences. Each and every event and occurrence are connected. Like a “draw by numbers” portrait those first eighteen years shaped the outline of who I became and am today. I am grateful to be able to look back now and realize how important ALL those experiences were.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
Marilyn Monroe

Great and Little Things

/ James Browning

On a hilltop in Italy in 1971 Coca-Cola assembled young people from all over the world to create a commerical with a message in song: “I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony and keep it company…”.

In a recent video Coke focuses on the good in simple things like
People stealing kisses…
Music addicts…
Harmless soldiers…
Honest pickpockets…
Potato chip dealers…
Attacks of friendship…
Love…
Kindness…
Friendly gangs…
Unexpected firemen…
Rebels with a cause…
Peace warriors…
A lot of crazy people…
And a few crazy heroes…
Let’s look at the world a little differently.

See the video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auNSrt-QOhw

By including the video below I am making no statements one way or the other about the Coca-Cola Company or its products. However, I do think the core content the marketing message has been wrapped around is a good and worth ninety seconds.

While the video did not make me want to rush to the fridge for a Coke, I am grateful watching it made me pause and acknowledge there are a lot of good people in the world doing many mostly unnoticed small and meaningful positive things all the time.

Character, in great and little things,
means carrying through what you feel able to do.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The Exploration of Desire

/ James Browning

Choice is the exploration of desire and then the selection of action. In every moment, you are choosing either to align yourself with your own true path or veer away from it. There are no neutral actions. Even the smallest gesture has a direction to it, leading you closer to your path or farther away from it, whether you realize it or not. Cherie Carter-Scott, PH.D.

Studies have found people who make decisions quickly, even when lacking some information, tend to be more satisfied with their choices than those who tediously weight out their options. Some of the difference is simply in the lower level of stress created in making the decision, but a good bit comes from how our brains are wired.

A conscious mind can hold a maximum in the neighborhood of 5 and 9 distinct thoughts at any given time. For most people the number of possible concurrent thoughts is on the lower side of that scale  in the 3-5 range. So generally speaking any considerably complex problem with greater than 5 factors can begin to overflow a conscious mind’s ability to function effectivelywhich can often lead a person to make poor choices.

What’s interesting is our subconscious mind is much better at juggling and working through complex problems. Those who intuitively “go with their gut” are actually trusting the work their subconscious mind has already done, rather than second-guessing it. They don’t rely as much on their conscious mind’s much more limited ability to deal with complex situations.

Whatever process we use to arrive at a choice, the satisfaction with what is picked will depend largely on whether one claims ownership of their choices. Feeling pressured into a choice or those made while feeling not in control are frequently colored negatively, even positive outcomes. Conversely, taking full responsibility for decisions can make even failing feel somewhat successful.  You’ll know you did your best and you’ll have gained valuable experience for next time.

Often I have commented I seem make better choices when I pay attention to what I feel instead of what I think. It is my belief I am naturally repelled by what I should not do and attracted by what I should do. However, it takes an ability to ignore to a degree the constantly yakking, thinking mind that spins all kinds possible scenarios and outcomes, even impossible and ludicrous ones. The knowledge that my feelings are, on average, a more dependable indicator of what I should and should not do has been a sizeable benefit to me. I am grateful for this insight.

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.
George Eliot