Not Giving Up

My Reason to ‘Rise and Do’

/ James Browning

When viewed as a whole, my life has been richly blessed. From love to a child to success and much more, life has been good. My life has had an ample share of heartache and difficulty but when viewed as a part of the whole, those times add contrast and color to the happier times. There are many splashes of color yet to be, but something to get up in the morning for is what keeps me going.

“A Man Must Want” by  Edgar A. Guest

It’s wanting keeps us young and fit.
It’s wanting something just ahead
And striving hard to come to it,
That brightens every road we tread.

That man is old before his time
Who is supremely satisfied
And does not want some hill to climb
Or something life has still denied.

The want of poverty is grim,
It has a harsh and cruel sting,
But fill the cup up to the brim,
And that’s a far more hopeless thing.

A man must want from day to day,
Must want to reach a distant goal
Or claim some treasure far away,
For want’s the builder of the soul.

He who has ceased to want has dropped
The working tools of life and stands
Much like an old-time clock that’s stopped
While time is moldering his hands.

I’m truly sorry for the man,
Though he be millionaire or king,
Who does not hold some cherished plan
And says he does not want a thing.

What is the spur that drives us on
And oft its praises should be sung,
For man is old when want is gone
It’s what we want that keeps us young.

It is my ‘want’ to express myself, be understood and contribute something positive that drives me these days. For each and everyone who even once reads what I write here, thank you. You are part of my reason to ‘rise and do’ each day.

My formula for living is quite simple.
I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night.
In between, I occupy myself as best I can.
Cary Grant

Can’t/Won’t/Haven’t/Don’t

/ James Browning

Good morning and welcome to a new day filled with possibilities!

Last night by chance I got pulled into the movie “The Adjustment Bureau” and watched the latter 3/4’s of it. I was moved by the story. I know it’s syrupy and filled with storybook fiction, but I can’t/won’t/haven’t/don’t plan to give up my hapless romantic ways. The desire for that sense of being is as indelibly stamped on me as the color of my eyes and the length of my arms. It just is!

My past is filled with a search for perfection in love. Over time becoming more aware and accepting of my own defects and failings has allowed me to see clearly that shortcoming and blemish is a portion of what makes me uniquely who I am. It is no longer the flawless and faultless romance I hope for. However, I won’t settle for less than what moves me to the core of my being. Never!

In my adult life, I haven’t experienced true romance. No one surprising me with dozens of flowers at work. No one sending me love notes. No one writing me poems about my beauty. No one whisking me off to the park for an intimate afternoon picnic. No one shouting at the top of their lungs their adoration for me in a public setting. The one and only time I experienced romance was in college–a phase in life lived in a vacuum that can’t be applied to any other aspects of “real life”. My boyfriend at the time was one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, hopeless romantics a girl could ask for. Thanks to a few lies and indiscretions, the bubble to my happy ending was burst before the ink on my college degree was dried. But I still fondly remember him as part of my movie romance that came partially to fruition.

I realize that there is much more to a successful and healthy relationship (which is ultimately what I want) than a few movie-inspired and grandiose romantic gestures, but I still desire to have a love that is unquestionably real and free. Because above all else, a movie-romance type of love to me is one that symbolizes an uninhibited approach to love, throwing caution to the wind, falling head first into an emotional whirlpool with reckless abandon. I want a romance where love isn’t afraid to show me its face. I want a romance that is willing to look ridiculous, even at the expense of its dignity. I want a romance that hits all 5 of my senses. I want a romance that regards me as its prized possession. I want…. a movie romance. From a post by gemmieboo on http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com/author/gemmieboo/

 unquestionably real and free
an uninhibited approach
caution to the wind
head first into an emotional whirlpool
reckless abandon
all 5 of my senses
isn’t afraid to show me its face
willing to look ridiculous
I can do that!

I wish for the ability to know “movie romance” when it is before me and to act my part well. My constantly searching and questioning mind has caused me to walk right by love of that sort more than once. Thinking something better was possible there were times I simply did not give movie romance a real chance. I am grateful for that awareness and hope it allows me to never do that again.

…once I felt, even for a moment,
what I felt with you. You ruined me.
I didn’t want to settle for less.
Emily Blunt’s Character ‘Elise Sellas” in “The Adjustment Bureau”

My Aloneness Disappears

/ James Browning

In the bargain section at the front of the store of a local Barnes and Nobles, I bought a cool book yesterday. “It’s Never Too Late… 172 simple acts to change your life” is by Patrick Lindsay.  Here’s two samples of what appears on its pages:

It’s never too late…
to say sorry.
It takes courage
but it’s worth the effort.
It releases you.
It enriches the other person.
It ennobles you.
It gives you both a new beginning.

“To see what is right and not to do it is want of courage.” Confucius

It’s never too late…
to tell the truth.
Lies are a burden.
They entangle us and weight us down.
Truth always fights to break out.
It usually succeeds anyway.
It’s not worth the struggle.
Telling the truth clears the air.
Lifts the burden.
Liberates.

“When in doubt, tell the truth.” Anonymous

I truly enjoy little books with a concise and clear thought on each page. I can pick one up, thumb to any part and spend only seconds reading to find something that gives me direction. Such little things are often what I find the most gratitude for. It tells me others feel and have felt as I do and my aloneness disappears.

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends;
they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors,
and the most patient of teachers.
Charles W. Eliot

Stripped by a Storm

/ James Browning

Within the last six years, I have lived the equivalent life experience of several decades.  My very being, mentally and emotionally, was thrashed to its barest existence.  Within that kneading and pounding  the majority of the greatest insights of my life have come.  So today I am grateful for my teachers called pain, grief and heartache.  They beat me into submission where I needed to go so like a tree stripped by a storm I could grow more fully and stronger than before.

Taken from “Moving On” by ‘Cue Ball’
As of now, I am moving on.
Through and out, this hard time.
The clouds will clear, and the storm will pass.
Things are looking up, as I raise the mast.
Sailing on, and moving out.
From these dark days, I muster all my clout.
I am ready, to start again.
Just to see, where life begins.
Tough it is, and tough it will be.
Life moves on, and this I see.
So move on I will to start all over.
Just to see, the fields of clover.
I am still hurt, from my loss.
Nothing can change, what was lost.
Strength is coming, for me to move on.

I have learned not to damn the trials and difficulties of my life.  As hard as any might be to face, it is still “my life” they are happening in.  To damn them, is to damn my own existence.  Much gratefulness is within to have learned that simple wisdom.

Serenity is not freedom from the storm,
but peace amid the storm.
Anonymous

Building Blocks of Merit and Significance.

/ James Browning

Outside of a few occasions of ‘beginner’s luck” I can’t think of a single time I got it right quickly when setting out to master something meaningful.  The endeavors where “beginner’s luck” showed up seemed hallow because not much effort went into the achievement.  Even more telling; frequently I could not replicant the initial success.  An outstanding start does pump a person up, but that’s not necessarily a positive. After healthy esteem any excess pride can easily turn into blinding conceit which does no one any good.

The accomplishments valued highest are the ones I labored most for, usually over a long period of time.  Time has taught me consistent, dedicated efforts are the building blocks of merit and significance.  Few things have been commented on more consistently than what adversity and challenge can bring. 

Disraeli said, There is no education like adversity. A similar view, All misfortune is but a stepping stone to the future, was held by Thoreau.  His friend, Ralph Waldo Emerson, said the same thing using different words, Fractures well-cured make us more strong.  Ancients of two thousand years ago, such as Horace and Ovid, held parallel views.  The latter commented, Misfortunes often sharpen genius and his contemporary, Horace, wrote Adversity is wont to reveal genius, prosperity to hide it.   Carl, a friend of mine, said it with six simple words, Fall down, get up, try again.

‘Try Try Again by T. H. Palmer

Tis a lesson you should heed,
If at first you don’t succeed,
Try, try again;

Then your courage should appear,
For if you will persevere,
You will conquer, never fear
Try, try again;

Once or twice, though you should fail,
If you would at last prevail,
Try, try again;

If we strive, ’tis no disgrace
Though we do not win the race;
What should you do in the case?
Try, try again

If you find your task is hard,
Time will bring you your reward,
Try, try again

All that other folks can do,
Why, with patience, should not you?
Only keep this rule in view:
Try, try again.

About the closest thing to perfection of logic I know is how imperfect effort is the surest way to accomplishment, achievement and even changing one’s self. Much gratitude resides within to know and accept the simple parable “try, try again” that’s been proven over and over through time.   

Do the one thing you think you cannot do.
Fail at it.
Try again.
Do better the second time.
The only people who never tumble
are those who never mount the high wire.
This is your moment.
Own it.
Oprah Winfrey