Falling Over and Over Again

Sufey 02Love.
Love is kind.
Love is unconditional.
Love needs no reason.
Love hugs you tight when you cry.
Love squeezes your hand because it feels good.
Love sings to you.
Love touches you.
Love paints you pictures.
Love is colorful.
Love sparkles.
Love is speechless.
Love listens.
Love is patient.
Love is here.
Love always comes home.
Love can’t stop kissing you.
Love makes your insides melt like cacao left too close to the stove by accident.
Love leaves you little notes everywhere.
Love listens.
Love makes you hot ginger tea.
Love carries you over puddles.
Love doesn’t mind the rain.
Love gets lost in the mountains with you but it’s okay because
Love > fear.
Love shows up on your doorstep. With roses. And cucumbers.
Love warms you up when you’re cold.
Love spoons.
Love heals.
Love wins.
Love is a warrior.
Love survives.
Love grows.
Love lasts.
Love stares up at the stars and wonders where you fell from.
Love lingers a moment longer.
Love breathes you in.
Love shows up to yoga class because you’re there and
Love is wherever you are.
Love makes you vegan avocado milkshakes.
Love makes you scream in bed.
Love is innocent.
Love is funny.
Love is playful.
Love is a glimmer of light in the black.
Love thinks you’re perfect.
Love is you.
Love is me.
Love is.
Love.

This blog is blessed with two or three new people subscribing most days. If the subscriber has a Facebook page or website I often check it out to keep handle on who reads my stuff. The poem above by Sufey Suryananadi grabbed my attention as did the title description of her Facebook page “Endless gratitude for this glorious world!” She goes on to say:

I get high on life every day, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share my bliss with you! I was raised as the oldest of five in a family overflowing with love. Coming home was always my favorite time of day because my baby brothers would whoop out my name, tumble overtop tables, smother me in pure glee and knock me off my feet into an epically entangled mess of uncontrollable laughter.

Demographically, I’m an eighteen-year-old Canadian girl. I’ve lived in Singapore, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Vancouver, Maui, Beijing, Ann Arbor, Prince George, Las Cruces, and traveled extensively across Asia, North America, and a teensy weensy bit of Europe. Wanderlust drives my soul, and it has brought me a life brimming full of endless adventure and a deep appreciation for the beauty in the world.

I’ve waltzed with old ladies in the parks of Shanghai, taught yoga in the ancient ruins of Nanjing, played tag with the street-children of Cebu, busked with steel drummers in Honolulu, flown kites with farmers in Wenzhou, and in doing so, my life has grown rich with simple pleasures.

Academically, I’m a 4th year Bachelors of Health Sciences student, majoring in Biomedical Studies and minoring in all things artsy and fun (like theatre, sculpture, photography and dance). Professionally, I’m a student of the universe… and humbled teacher of yoga, piano, figure skating, debate, public speaking, cross-country skiing, and wellness. I’m a certified 200-hr Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT) through Yoga Alliance with my Grade 10 Piano Practical from the Royal Conservatory of Music (RCM).

It’s not uncommon to find that what people put up on Facebook is somewhere between inaccurate and fabrication. I don’t think that is the case with Sufey. Her energy and love of life seems radiant, sincere and true. I am glad. Knowing of a young person who loves life as she professes pulls my spirit up higher. To read how well lived her young life is reminds this middle aged guy to be grateful, love people and live life fully everyday. Thanks Sufey. https://www.facebook.com/sufey

I tell you this because
it’s basically the story of my life:
falling over and over again…
and laughing myself silly
while clambering back up!
Sufey Suryananadi

The Remains of a Life Lived Well

Estate salePurely on a whim during my drive to work Friday I stopped at a house where an estate sale was going on. It was the 25% off on the direction signs that caught my eye. I did find a few treasures: two books, an unused light dimmer, an old sepia-tone photograph and a comforter with a musical notes motif I plan to give a musician friend for Christmas.

One-quarter off meant the estate sale was winding down by my visit and what remained was largely the “left overs”. With much gone from the home, it was easy to notice the house had not been updated for decades. Seeing a 40th high school class reunion program from 1983 told me at least one of the previous occupants of the house would likely be near 90 years old if they were still living.

Maybe it was the was the wallpaper that was starting to come unglued at the seams and tired look of the home interior. Maybe it was the long out-of-style women’s clothing in a very small size marked cheaply for sale. Or, possibly it was the fact that someone’s evidence of life was being sold and spread to the wind. But whatever it was, I was emotionally affected.

…Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference in your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word it always was. Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well. Rosamunde Pilcher

Walking through the estate sale house, most of all I felt was reverence for a life lived. What was still for sale in the kitchen told me who ever had lived there liked to entertain. A Dutch book in English about the art featured in the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam indicates the previous occupants liked to travel. A box of a large quantity of oil paint-stained art brushes of all sizes indicated someone not only like to view art, but also make it them self. This helped create an image to me of a real person who lived a real life.

Many African societies divide humans into three categories: those still alive on the earth, the sasha, and the zamani. The recently departed whose time on earth overlapped with people still here are the sasha, the living-dead. They are not wholly dead, for they still live in the memories of the living, who can call them to mind, create their likeness in art, and bring them to life in anecdote. When the last person to know an ancestor dies, that ancestor leaves the sasha for the zamani, the dead. As generalized ancestors, the zamani are not forgotten but revered. Many … can be recalled by name. But they are not the living-dead. There is a difference.” James w. Loewen.

I left the estate sale yesterday feeling sad for someone’s death, but came around today to believing I visited the remains of  life lived well. One of the treasures I purchased for seventy-five cents was an old sepia-toned photograph from a box of random black and white’s of various sizes. The image is at the top of this blog; an attractive woman in her early twenties in clothing that suggests her time was early in the twentieth century.

The woman in the photograph looks out through time and makes eye contact with me as I write. I am grateful to her for helping me humanize my estate sale experience yesterday and allowing me to bear witness she once lived.

We all leave traces of ourselves behind. I hope someday strangers will find the bits and pieces I have strewn about to be meaningful like the leave behinds I discovered yesterday.

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It’s the transition that’s troublesome.
Isaac Asimov

There’s An App For That

Expanding my level of gratitude has been a life changer to a degree not easily explained. What is different changed slowly ever so slightly day by day, week by week, month by month.

Like most new things initially the excitement about my new endeavor with this blog pumped me up. That was followed about two months into writing it of having to push myself to keep going every day.

Around six months into writing daily about what I was grateful for, the benefits began to manifest in ways I could easily notice. One of the surprising happenings was I often got the most good from telling the world about some of the worst things I’d ever done. There has been something extraordinarily cleansing about that experience.

Now that eighteen months of creating goodmorninggratitude.com each morning have passed, I can emphatically tell you I wish I had started sooner. Yes, I had read for years about keeping a gratitude journal. Many times I began but could never get the practice planted and growing for me. That’s why I probably have a dozen journals with only a few pages filled. Not sure why I felt each time I attempted anew to keep a gratitude journal I needed a fresh one. That’s just another little peculiarity that shows me to be uniquely myself!

At the top of list of benefits of sharing my thoughts of personal gratefulness each day is I have become an optimistic. Previously I wore the label of “realist”. Now I’m the bane of people who think of them self that way. What I came to know is “realist” is just another name for pessimist. And for those who readily identify them self as pessimistic suffice it to say I make them uncomfortable with the generally good vibe I have for living the majority of the time. I always hope a little of it rubs off.

If you’re not the sort who wants to spend a good bit of your time writing on-line or in a journal, there’s an app for that! I can’t tell you much about it yet, as it is a discovery of just this morning.

Here’s what the Apple store said about the app:

Gratitude and Happiness Tracker is a free iPhone and iPad app that helps you to track happiness levels, and specifically three daily practices: expressing gratitude, staying in touch with friends, and doing acts of kindness.

The app is extremely basic and simple to use. It’s nothing fancy when it comes to looks, but it gets the job done. On the graph page, you will be able to see the graphing of your happiness and practices at a glance.

You select the practice, enter in whether or not you completed it, and if you like jot down a quick note. Hit save and it records your responses.
The app is just a basic way to keep track of your daily happiness level and encourage you to express gratitude, take time for friends, and commit one random act of kindness every day. Who knows? It could be a great app for moving closer to the person you aim to be!

The Gratitude and Happiness app is currently rated at three and a half stars, so I did spend 99 cents to download it on my iPhone. It looks like an hour or so will be needed to figure it out and complete set up. I’ll do that this week and a ways down the road I’ll let you know how the app worked out for me. My gratitude goes to the creators of the app and to the search for something completely unrelated this morning that brought it to me. There are happenings here and there I used to think were coincidence, like this one, that now I know often it’s my Higher Power at work.

The unthankful heart… discovers no mercies;
but let the thankful heart sweeps through the day
and, as the magnet finds the iron,
so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!
Henry Ward Beecher

Work and the Ability to Change

I’m packing and getting ready to rush to the airport to return home after a business trip that has taken up the majority of the week. I find myself asking “why I work” a lot these days. And more so, why do I work in the same profession I have been in for many years. While clear answers are difficult to come by, I do find guides along the way like the article just below titled “Why Do We Work” from the Washington Post by Michael Maccoby.

Many people would be happier with jobs that make better use of their abilities. Even so, people do not work for money or survival alone. Even when necessity forces us to take a job, financial need is not the only reason we work.

Work ties us to a real world that tells us whether our ideas make sense; it demands that we discipline our talents and master our impulses. To realize our potentialities, we must focus them in a way that relates to the human community. We need to feel needed. And to feel needed, we must be evaluated by others in whatever coinage, tangible or not, culture employs. Our sense of dignity and self-worth depends on being recognized by others through our work. Without work, we deteriorate. We need to work.

In this still fragile economy, many people will be motivated at work they do not like mainly to keep their jobs for the sake of income and mental health. But a leader who wants enthusiastic collaborators needs to engage them in work that is meaningful to them. This can be done by focusing on four Rs: responsibilities, relationships, rewards and reasons.

We are motivated when our responsibilities are meaningful and engage our abilities and values. The most meaningful responsibilities stretch and develop us. Caring people are motivated by work that helps others. Craftsmen are motivated by producing high quality products.

We are motivated by good relationships with bosses, collaborators, and customers. Fun at work is motivating. So is appreciation for helping others.

Rewards can be motivating, but they can be overvalued. Of course, investment bankers will exhaust themselves for huge pay offs. And piece workers, sewing garments or assembling gadgets, will work harder producing more finished products for the extra dollars. But there is no evidence that teachers will teach better to make more money. Incentive pay focuses a person on particular tasks, like teaching to the tests. It can stimulate a doctor to see more patients, but not treat them any better. Or it can strengthen a boss’s authority by rewarding a subordinate for following orders. But if someone does not feel fairly rewarded compared to peers, incentive pay becomes de-motivating. People may be more motivated by public recognition and appreciation for their work than by money.

Reasons can be the most powerful motivators. Workers doing repetitive work on an assembly line during World War II were highly motivated because they were helping to win the war. The same work in peace time would be boring. People take pride in work that contributes to the well-being of others and the common good. Leaders who articulate a meaningful purpose, support good relationships, give people responsibilities that engage and develop them, and recognize exceptional work will most certainly gain enthusiastic collaborators.

For the moment I am content to do the work at the job I have, yet I know big changes are ahead for me. For so long change was unnerving, but today I am grateful to say I am excited about the possibilities and open to where the future takes me!

What people have the capacity to choose,
they have the ability to change.
Madeleine Albright

Peace Within the Riddle

What do you want? Or is what you want always just something you don’t have.

Those spoken words actually came falling out of my mouth this morning from a source I am unsure of. Since I live alone, saying such a thing aloud actually caught me by surprise. Only after speaking them did I start to wonder where they came from. Nothing specific happened. No particular thought was bouncing in my head.

All I did was go stand on my porch for about a minute taking in the cooler weather. Enjoying the view of the big cyprus tree out front decked out in its rich fall brown I watched the needed autumn rain drizzle down. Listening to the soft splatters on my driveway and the gentle ringing of drops falling in the gutters, I felt contented in the moment. Then as I came back in my home and was walking down the entry hall, those words arrived for me to say aloud to no one except myself: What do you want… or is what you want always just something you don’t have?

Neil Gaiman wrote, I don’t want whatever I want. Nobody does. Not really. What kind of fun would it be if I just got everything I ever wanted just like that, and it didn’t mean anything? What then? So does that mean I will always be malcontented and never at peace with where I am and what I have? I hope not. Such a cyclical truth going round and a round in my brain would be maddening like a dog chasing, but never catching, his tail!

A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it, was Lionel Shriver’s view of things. In that case I’d like NOT to be in the group he called “a lot of people…” and believe I have escaped the usual simply by asking my question; What do you want… or is what you want always just something you don’t have?

Thinking redemption and happiness can never be found in “what is” and instead only achieved within “what might be” is the near raving of a lunatic. In his novel “Lullaby” Chuck Palahnuik stated his version of this thought when he wrote, Are these things really better than the things I already have? Or am I just trained to be dissatisfied with what I have now?

Possibly the continual search for more, different and new is a natural insanity that is innate with being human. Dan Millman wrote in “Way of the Peaceful Warrior…”  If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. That brings me back at my original quandary: What do you want… or is what you want always just something you don’t have?

I found an explanation that sets my mind at ease to some degree in an article written in Psychology Today by Alex Lickerman, M.D., a practicing Buddhist for over twenty years. He wrote: Research suggests that our conscious minds aren’t so much in charge of the decisions we make as they are great rationalizers of them. Which means they often collude with our unconscious minds to craft stories about why we do things and even why we feel things that are just blatantly untrue. We often have far more invested in seeing ourselves as virtuous, noble, fair-minded, and good than we do in recognizing the truth: that we often want things and therefore do things that make us base, selfish, self-righteous, and unjust. All of which is to say that sometimes we may not actually know what we want. Or, even more commonly, we may not know why we want it.

What do you want… or is what you want always just something you don’t have? That thought I spoke aloud this morning has no precise answer, except to find peace within the riddle through accepting what is and trying to keep hope for a future with no specific definition. For the calming effect of the experience of writing this, I am humbly grateful.

As soon as you stop wanting something,
you get it.
Andy Warhol

So What…

Life is what we make it,
always has been,
always will be.

American painter ‘Grandma Moses’ (Anna Mary Robertson 1860-1961) did not write that, begin painting or become famous until she was over seventy years old. I read an article about her recently and was inspired to write the following:

Life is hard; so what…
It would be taken for granted without difficulty.

Life is crammed with deceit; so what…
The constant possibility lends value to truth.

Life is filled with doubt; so what…
If all was certain existence would be colorless.

Life is painful; so what…
Pain is the mirror reflection of joy. It lends depth to the good.

Life is temporary; so what…
The impermanence of living makes time precious.

Life is a demanding teacher; so what…
Experience is the only truth we accept fully.

Life contains failure; so what…
Possibility of failing makes succeeding worthwhile.

Life is crammed with loss; so what…
It is the possibility of losing that makes ‘having’ meaningful.

In the book “The Road Less Traveled” M. Scott Peck wrote Life is difficult. This a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult — once we truly understand and accept it — then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

Time has taught me to do my best to embrace life’s struggles; to see each heartbreak as a valuable mentor; that light is just beyond the next dark hill and there’s no growth with pain. Life’s difficulties are necessary for my development, so when troubles come along  I do my best to accept them; embrace them. The quick fix and easy way out to escape difficulty temporarily is no longer my constant ally. With each discomfort it is the old, inferior me dying so a new better me can be born. My gratitude is deep for the wisdom of knowing that pain means growth. It always points forward.

Don’t wish it was easier;
wish you were better.
Don’t wish for less problems;
wish for more skills.
Don’t wish for less challenges;
wish for more wisdom.
Jim Rohn

The Way of a Seeker

The first Monday of November of two thousand twelve has arrived. Much as been accomplished this year, but with ten months of this year gone by my intentions have far exceeded my deeds. And you know… that’s just fine.

What was achieved means more to me than the things I meant to do and have not gotten around to. How do I know? Simply, I show what matters most by what I do and don’t do. Nothing speaks more clearly than actions.

This has been a year of gaining focus and making peace within. There have been grand discoveries including coming to know what I want to do with my life is okay. No matter how many concerned looks have come from others when I express my desire to travel the world vagabond style, it doesn’t matter. Those whose light is locked up and don’t dare embrace their deepest desires will never understand. Freedom is walking through insecurity, fear and doubt to find one’s destiny.

Mine is the way of a seeker: sometimes the fool; always the adventurer; sometimes the one who gets lost; always with hope and desire; sometimes struck with pain and grief; always graciously thankful for life; sometimes delusional and confused; always seeking clarity and truth; sometimes careful and cautious; always open to the new and different; usually optimistic and positive and always putting one foot in front of the other…

Moving,
sometimes forward,
sometimes backward,
but making progress toward a destiny
I am pulled toward.

My way was not always so. So much time I spent chasing success, reputation and money. Once I had those things the realization arrived that the time in that chase was, at first glance, mostly wasted. However, nothing that teaches can be a waste. Life is always good, even when it is difficult and hard. The tough times have been my most demanding task masters and the staunchest teachers of profound insight.

My pursuits have brought me to a far different place than I originally sought; a good place well matched to my current-day dreams. My gratitude exceeds my ability to express it.

Believe that you are far more wonderful
than you ever dared to imagine…
because you are.
Believe that you can be more
than you have ever dreamed…
because you can.
Believe that you have more courage
than you can see…
because you do
Believe that you are stronger
than your fears have allowed you to know…
because you are.
Believe that you can love
more fully than you ever thought…
because you are able to.
Believe that you are truly more unique and special
than you have ever allowed yourself to acknowledge..
because you really are.
Believe it…
if it’s the last thing you do.
Believe it…
because it’s true.
“More than you Dreamed” by Sue Mitchell

A Song to My Soul – Part 2

My leave behind here yesterday was the story about four family photographs that came in a used book I purchased and my hope of returning them. https://goodmorninggratitude.com/2012/11/02/a-song-to-my-soul/

Once business hours began yesterday I was able to leave a message where the father used to work and retired from. I asked only that someone get in touch and ask him to call me. A few hours later my phone range and Mr. Al Unser was on the other end of the line.

He was a little suspicious at first, but as I relayed my story and described the photographs his demeanor changed to warmth and gratitude. He mentioned remembering one of the photos in particular; the one of his children when they were small. I asked for his address and ended my day addressing an envelope and putting the pictures inside with a printout of yesterday’s blog.

To a point I went out of my way to return the photographs simply because it was the right thing to do. Such orphaned photos are usually only meaningful to the particular family they come from. To anyone else they are insignificant and garbage bound. It would have been sad had that been the fate of these images.

More than anything I enjoy the feeling of knowing I did something good. Just a few minutes off the usual path of my life given freely to others allowed me to put a few specks of additional kindness into the world. And in the giving, I am the one who receives most. I am grateful for the positive sense of self my actions brought. There can never be too much kindness in the world!

Those who loved you and were helped by you
will remember you
when forget-me-nots have withered.
Carve your name on hearts,
not on marble.
Charles H. Spurgeon

No Need To Worry

Clarity of thought can sometimes be clouded with an over abundance of words where the essence becomes hidden. In presenting the quote just below, I have avoided pontificating and instead presented it without explanation. The words stand clearly on their own.

If a problem is fixable,
if a situation is such
that you can do something about it,
then there is no need to worry.

If it’s not fixable,
then there is no help in worrying.
There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.
Dali Lama XIV

I am grateful for wisdom in those thirty words and the impact they made on me this morning. As often happens when my awareness is tuned to receive, the message I needed arrived at precisely the best time.

If you break your neck,
if you have nothing to eat,
if your house is on fire,
then you got a problem.
Everything else is inconvenience.
Robert Fulghum

A Beautiful Fall Morning of Contrasting Clouds and Sun

Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment – this day – is as good as any moment in all eternity. I shall make of this day – each moment of this day – a heaven on earth. This is my day of opportunity. Dan Custer.

you are equal to all others;
some may have greater talents and power
where you are lacking
but you are greater in areas
where they cannot go.
do not stop your own growth and progression
by trying to emulate… or follow… anyone.
step out with courage
develop all that you are meant to be
look for new experiences….
meet new people
learn to add all new dimensions
to your present and future
you are one of a kind….
equal to every other person
accept that fact
live it… use it… stand tall
in belief of who you are
reach for the highest accomplishment
touch it… grasp it…
know it is within your ability
live to win in life
and you will.
Diane Westlake

The words of Custer and Westlake are just what I needed this morning to be reminded of the great gift today is and how perfectly imperfect, yet extraordinarily capable I am. Those thoughts are sweetened by knowing this is Sunday; a day off work and a beautiful fall morning of contrasting clouds and sun. My life is deeply rich and when I take the time to notice its fullness I become humbly grateful.

The unthankful heart discovers no mercies;
but the thankful heart will find, in every hour,
some heavenly blessings.
Henry Ward Beecher