Living life well

Newly Refocused to Clarity

/ James Browning

fa892c9ecFailing to meet your true destiny is a tragic act of free will.

Those dozen words from Anthon St. Maarten have been swimming around in my head since encountering them for the first time yesterday. I have since expanded the short statement into a generalized meaning that helps me to hang on to my interpretation of Maarten’s words:  when my life situation is no longer blamed on other people, circumstances and fate, my perception is peeled back to show it is my choices and actions that most shape my life. Intellectuality I already knew that. But having that wisdom newly refocused to clarity is a sure path to an improved use of my free will and in turn a conduit to a continually improving life experience.

I made sure to pay attention to everything I was doing. To be fully in the moment. Because that’s all life is, really, a string of moments that you knot together and carry with you. Hopefully most of those moments are wonderful, but of course they won’t all be. The trick is to recognize an important one when it happens. Even if you share the moment with someone else, it is still yours. Your string is different from anyone else’s. It is something no one can ever take away from you. It will protect you and guide you, because it IS you.

Until recently, I thought it was death that gave meaning to life–that having an endpoint is what spurred us on to embrace life while we had it. But I was wrong. It isn’t death that gives meaning to life. Life gives meaning to life. The answer to the meaning of life is hidden right there inside the question.

What matters is holding tight to that string, and not letting anyone tell us our goals aren’t big enough or our interests are silly. But the voices of others aren’t the only ones we need to worry about. We tend to be our own worst critics. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: ‘Most of the shadows in this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.’ … Wisdom is found in the least expected places. Always keep your eyes open. Don’t block your own sunshine. Be filled with wonder. From “Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life” by Wendy Mass

The meaning of life is not some cosmic, out-of-reach and mysterious explanation. That’s difficult to see most of the time because us humans have the innate ability to over complicate things and obscure our ability to accurately see, know and perceive. Only by living rooted in the present as much as possible is “the meaning of it all” to be found. It is not “outside of me”. I was born with it, but have been conditioned to believe I was incomplete and the meaning of my life was outside of me. IT ISN’T!

Even without being exposed to the clarity of St. Maarten’s statement before, I’ve been living with that sort of self-direction now for several years. Gratefully, with those dozen words as a newly focused reminder I can do it even more.

There are essentially two questions in life –
a spiritual question and a material question.
The spiritual question is ‘Who am I?’
The material question is
‘What am I to do with my life?’
One leads to the other.
Rasheed Ogunlaru

Sweetner for Living

/ James Browning

aweIn six days GoodMorningGratitude.com will be two years old. Every day I have left something here with the exception of one. When inspiration arrived from a source outside of me twenty-four months ago to do this, it was not in my wildest imagination to believe I could be this committed.

Researching and writing has been a profound teacher. Lessons about commitment and belief are near the top of the list. However, it’s gratitude itself that my education has been most about. Without a shred of a doubt it’s my certain knowing that what I pay attention to and think about is what I get more of. By expanding my level of thankfulness, I have become far more grateful and with more gratefulness every smidgen of my existence has been made better.

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
Author Unknown

Earlier than two years ago I was grateful person, but focused my thanks on the “good stuff”. Today even more so I am grateful for the pain, difficulty and heartache that has tutored me in the art of living well. For this morning and the following five days until the third year of GoodMorningGratitude.com begins, expressed here will be my gratefulness for learning how to practice the sweeter for living: G R A T I T U D E.

One of the main reasons that we lose
our enthusiasm in life is because
we become ungrateful…
we let what was once a miracle
become common to us.
Joel Osteen

I would be grateful if you’d forward to a few friends
an installment of G.M.G. you found meaningful and help set a record
for readership for GoodMorningGratitude.com’s birthday.Thank you. James

Life: One, Two, Three, Four

/ James Browning

puzzled dollarOne for the money:

Making money isn’t hard in itself… What’s hard is to earn it doing something worth devoting one’s life to. Carlos Ruiz Zafon

 ~2 Sad-MasksTwo for the show:

Please do not break your heart over the withering of a dream you once held, that never became yours! After all, the shattered dream could have very well been a nightmare and not a dream at all, you wouldn’t really know because you didn’t have it yet! Let the sparks fade, let the flame dim and die, you’ll never know it wasn’t poison. C. Joybell C.

~3 artworks-000010979347-wx4usy-originalThree to make ready:

I eventually came to understand that in harboring the anger, the bitterness and resentment towards those that had hurt me, I was giving the reins of control over to them. Forgiving was not about accepting their words and deeds. Forgiving was about letting go and moving on with my life. In doing so, I had finally set myself free. Isabel Lopez

~4 Join+Lets+go EDITAnd four to go:

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could. Louise Erdrich

Accumulated wisdom is plentiful and easy to find. I am grateful for the reminder to not assume I know how to use it from simply reading the words. Only when I take the time to soak up what is said can wisdom offered by others become a help to me. Thank you to all who are and have come before who share their thoughts which help me live better each day. I am grateful for your gifts.

A State of Beingness

/ James Browning

infinity-signAcceptance of how much influence I actually have over the quality of my life is frightening. Grasping that I, more than any other factor, am what shapes the quality of my existence takes a bit of courage. When I used to blame and point fingers at people and circumstances for my lack of contentment and happiness, I felt confidently miserable. There is no courageousness in that, nor anything else that lends itself toward a good life.

That’s the thing about unhappiness. I realize in my past feeling certain why I was unhappy became the little island in the big scary ocean I hung on to. I felt dejected, but certain of why and that was my answer for things. Life sucked because it sucked. That’s pretty silly when I actually type the words.

Time and effort brought the lesson that in total, I usually cannot put a finger on exactly why I am feeling good; why happiness has invaded the space gloom used to occupy. Of course I can identify some of the causes, but far from all of it. What matters is that I live fully in my contented times and not try to mentally research the source. I need to “just be” as the phrase goes.

The same is true of my down times. Trying to sort out all the reasons “why” is impossible and makes the murkiness last longer. It is far better to simply bear well the gloomy moments and let them pass. Analyzing such times ALWAYS makes them last longer.

Do not waste the precious moments of this, your present reality, seeking to unveil all of life’s secrets. Those secrets are a secret for a reason. Use your NOW moment for the Highest Purpose- the creation and the expression of WHO YOU REALLY ARE. Decide who you are- who you want to be-and then do everything in your power to be that.

It is not nearly so important how well a message is received as how well it is sent. You cannot take responsibility for how well another accepts your truth; you can only ensure how well it is communicated. And by how well, I don’t mean merely how clearly; I mean how lovingly, how compassionately, how sensitively, how courageously, and how completely.

If you think your life is about DOINGNESS, you do not understand what you are about. Your soul doesn’t care what you do for a living-and when your life is over, neither will you. Your soul cares only about what you’re BEING while you’re doing whatever you’re doing.  Neal Donald Walsh

And so I enter into my day, self-reminded of how I to use well the gift of the next fourteen hours or so of consciousness. I will do my best to not waste too much applying logic and analysis to life. Instead, with gratefulness I will endeavor to embrace the time being as truly “myself” as I possibly can.

The reason people find it so hard to be happy
is that they always see the past better than it was,
the present worse than it is,
and the future less resolved than it will be.
Marcel Pagnol

Personal Points of Truth

/ James Browning

86775f6221c115d4c53ff4f4b2d43034-d306hyf“Soon You Will Understand… The Meaning of Life” is a book by William Blank published about a decade ago that only came into my awareness recently. The author is “a
middle-aged guy who has walked through a big part of the extreme yin and yang of human possibilities”.

The book sets out to give “a brief generic overview of why you are here, what your experience is all about and what it all means”. There are forty-four short sections that shed light on topics from “Work To Survive” to “Be Remembered” to “Have Tasks” included just below. Whether one agrees the with precise concepts, Mr. Blank’s book contains lots of good stuff for spiritual seekers such as me.

You come here to do certain
specific
things.
You may have one task
or many.
Your tasks may be obvious to you.
or you may need time,
effort,
maybe struggle
even to clarify
your tasks.
You may never quite even clarify your task
until the moment
your time in this body
ends.
You may work on your task for years
before you realize,
“This is my task.”
The tasks you came to perform
may take the whole of your life
or be done in an instant.
You may be aware
you are performing your life task
while you do it.
You may perform your task quickly,
hardly noticing
anything special,
unaware
you are doing the task
you came to do
while you do it.
Your task may be so easy,
obvious and
natural,
you never even wonder,
“What is my task?”
Your unique blend
of talents and interests
may lead you
to your task
and you just do it.
Or, your task may be a constant,
unpleasant
struggle
you fight
every step of the way.
Your task may be noble and wonderful
and gain you
recognition,
rewards
and honors.
Or, it may be simple,
totally unnoticeable
by anyone else.

http://www.themeaningoflife.org/0Introduction.htm

At least two or three dozen times within some seven hundred or so entries on this blog, I have said “what I need seems to show up at the time I need it”. Once again that has been proven true by becoming aware of  the book “The Meaning of Life…” by Bill Blank. I am grateful for his insights that are making me think, ponder and arrive at a few new personal points of truth.

Reason does not work instinctively,
but requires trial, practice,
and instruction in order to
gradually progress from
one level of insight to another
Immanuel Kant

Peace and Quiet

/ James Browning

peace-and-quietFor approximately twenty years when asked what I wanted most my response was “peace”. The long-time hope was the demands of work and responsibility would settle down and emotionally I would find real equilibrium with those I care about. Without knowing it “fake it until you make it” was what I was practicing the first ten years I gave that answer.

Soon I will be taking my life in a different direction and was struck this morning with thoughts about this thing I have referred to as “peace”. I asked myself, “Really, what is it you have been yearning for?”

From on-line definitions I crafted a composite meaning of “peace” that aligns with what I aspire to:
• A state of harmony, tranquility or quiet;
• Freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts, and emotions;
• Harmony in personal relations;
• Free from strife;

After I read over that list a few times it hit me. “Peace” is almost entirely an inside job! I knew that, but have never had the clarity to completely accept the responsibility is mine. “Peace” has little to do with the circumstances of my life. Blaming external things for a lack of peacefulness is a distraction at best and a self-told lie at worst.

Accept what is: There is only so much we can affect. What we cannot change, what we cannot influence no matter what, should not be a concern to us. This is what I notice with so many people, in that we focus and linger on things which we have no control over. Why worry about something that all the worrying in the world will not change? Why care about what other people think of us when we’re not even sure what it is they are actually thinking? Once you open the blinds to this fact, and start accepting what is that you cannot change, you automatically relieve yourself of a mountain of stress and anxiety. It’s like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Taking this path is following a road towards peace.

Live in the present moment: Most of the time, what we worry about is relating to something either in the past, or something that hasn’t happened. Living in the present moment erases all such thoughts. Why worry about something in the past that we cannot ever change? Why worry about something that we are not even sure will happen or not? This is why in the present moment, you find true inner peace. In the present moment, there are no problems and no concerns. There is only stillness, and it is within that stillness that you can uncover peace. http://www.ineedmotivation.com/blog/2008/05/find-inner-peace-in-10-ways/

Without doubt there is more peace in my life now that ever before. While far from a thorough practice, accepting what is and living in the present have had a sizeable positive impact on the quality of my existence. It seems so simple, but that wisdom was obscured from me by my own thoughts for many years. Gratefully I can see that now.

Nothing can bring
you peace but yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The One You Feed

/ James Browning

indianstortellA Cherokee Legend

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Having lived long enough to know the words of the “Old Indian” are true, I can attest to the wisdom in this legend of my ancestors. I have been know to frequently say “a person finds what they are looking for” or “we end up right where we put ourselves”. By those I mean “expecting good brings them and anticipating bad attracts it” and “thoughts are our compass that directs us to where we end up”. Plain and simple: thoughts breed more like thoughts.

Far from having become some namby-pamby simpleton who is lost in positive euphoria all the time, I am still very much human in spite of my growth and present day understanding of myself. I have bad moments like everyone else. I just don’t allow myself to get stuck there. I readily fight the “bad wolf” for my happiness and contentment.

With long-term intention and lots of practice, being somewhere north of the line between happy/sad and good/bad has become relatively easy to maintain most of the time. Practice does not make perfect, but it can make one darn good at something! In the beginning throwing off the negative thoughts was difficult; a war of sorts. However the more battles I won, the more I began to win until today shooing away negativity is usually not that hard. I am very grateful for the slow process of practice and learning that brought me to the good life I life today. I ended up living with the “good wolf I fed”.

Negative thoughts breed negative thoughts,
and positive thoughts breed positive thoughts.
When you are aware of this,
you will become aware
of the ultimate power
that you hold over your own life!
Unknown

Evaporates With Breakneck Speed

/ James Browning

GW-in-my-hear EIDTI will find a way in my everyday life to slow the world down and take away some of the pressures – moments when the demands of making a living take too much away from making a life. I will give myself time to smile and relax. To show how much I care. To share my love. To say what’s in my heart and on my mind. To stop and reflect on my goals.

Don’t run through life so fast
that you forget not only where you’ve been
but also where you’re going.
Life is not a race,
but a journey to be savored
each step of the way
Nancye Sims

sands-of-timeToday’s finds me with gratitude for the little reminders life brings into my path. All I have to do is pay attention. The two reminders above come from a cool book (“Promises to Myself”) that came to me used complete with notes by the original owner that make it more meaningful. Eddie Cantor’s thought below popped up in an email sent by a friend.

I am grateful for the gentle prompts this morning to remember to live each day, even each moment, as completely as I possibly can. Life evaporates with breakneck speed.

Slow down and enjoy life.
It’s not only the scenery
you miss by going too fast –
you also miss the sense
of where you are going and why.
Eddie Cantor

Six Hundred and One

/ James Browning

gratitudeYesterday was my 600th day in a row to post a blog on goodmorninggratitude.com. In celebration, I have essentially taken the day off. However, I don’t want to break my string of consecutive posts and offer four quotes about gratitude that are personally meaningful to me.

True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not. Roman Stoic philosopher, Seneca

The greatest wisdom is in simplicity. Love, respect, tolerance, sharing, gratitude, forgiveness. It’s not complex or elaborate. The real knowledge is free. It’s encoded in your DNA. All you need is within you. Great teachers have said that from the beginning. Find your heart, and you will find your way. Myan elder, Carlos Barrios

When you express gratitude for the blessings that come into your life, it not only encourages the universe to send you more, it also sees to it that those blessings remain. Self-help author, Stephen Richards

Dear God,
I just want to say thank you for waking me up this Saturday morning. You did not have too but, you did. I am grateful. I know you saw I have been through a lot in the past few weeks and helped me through it. Thank you for being there for me.
James

Be thankful for your allotment
in an imperfect world.
Though better circumstances
can be imagined,
far worse are nearer misses
than you probably care to realize.
Richelle E. Boodrich

Players On The Stage

/ James Browning

life-lessons-no-school-taughtGood morning to:

The fifth grade teacher who never liked me;
You taught me how impossible it is to please everyone.

The supervisor who stepped aside to let me take blame for someone else,
You taught me knowing someone for years does not make them my friend.

The girlfriend from my junior year of high school;
You showed me how much peer pressure can influence what someone does.

The hospital I stayed at when I was eighteen years old;
You made it abundantly clear that I had to take care of myself.

The company that laid me off months after I moved hundreds of miles;
You taught me that trust was something to not hand out easily.

The driver of the florist delivery van that hit my car;
You taught me to work past pain and to forgive someone who hurt me.

The worker who stole jewelry from my bedroom;
You taught me things don’t matter much no matter how attached to them I am.

The woman I loved who divorced me;
You taught me I did not have to be with someone to love them.

The man I thought was a friend who lied and dishonored me;
You taught me to value true and real friends all the more.

The company who cheated me out of two months pay after I resigned;
You taught me to always get important things written down.

The bank who repossessed my car when I was nineteen;
You taught me the important of being responsible paying my bills.

The science teacher who got the dates wrong for the regional science fair;
You taught me ultimately I am solely responsible for myself.

The job that was so big I could find little satisfaction in it;
You taught me the size and scale of work I am best at.

The airlines that canceled my flights;
You each taught me life goes on whether I am present or not.

The woman I loved who never loved me back;
You taught me no matter what I do some people will never love me.

The my trusted ‘right hand’ manager who violated my trust and got me fired;
You taught me the value of loyal people who are trustworthy.

To all the ones who hurt me, disappointed me, violated my trust, stole from me, broke my heart, took advantage of my innocence, intentionally lied and cheated…

I thank you all. Each and every time pain was initially all present, but with months and years the lesson of the hurt came into focus. It is difficulty that has been my most prolific teacher. Only those people who deserved no place in my life could have taught me to truly recognize the ones who are worthy. I am grateful to all learned the hard way and the players on the stage of each example.

What looks like garbage from one angle
might be art from another.
Maybe it did take a crisis to get to know yourself;
maybe you needed to get whacked hard by life
before you understood what you wanted out of it.
From “Handle With Care” by Jodi Picoult