Dew On the Flower of Life

ku-xlargeLeo Tolstoy wrote, “It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness”. Experience has taught me the truth of his words. I have loved some women mainly for what was on the outside, while ignoring, for a time, what emanated from within. Of course, every time I got my heart broken. Looking from the vantage point of today it is simple to see why.

Soul, heart and mind are on the “inside” of a person. They’re not worn where its easy to see their qualities and character. The “inside of a book” takes time to know. The bewildering part has been the more beautiful the woman I loved, to a person, the more self-conscious and down on herself she was.

In particular, people tend to have a distorted appreciation of how they look. There are a few people who look in the mirror and think they look terrific all the time; but they are few. Many more look in the mirror and see an acne scar which they think dominates their appearance—or a prominent nose, or a weak chin, or a receding hairline, or gray hair (even when, sometimes, they have no visible gray hair), or eyebrows that are too thin or two thick, and so on.

The mirror lies. As people tend to see everything in life as they expect it to be, they see, especially, in the mirror, what they expect to see. Elderly people looking in the mirror do not recognize that they have grown older, until, suddenly, they find themselves in front of a different mirror and their face is lit up more brightly, or just differently. It is usually a disconcerting and uncomfortable experience. Some people give up looking at their reflection. They purposely turn away when they walk by a mirror. Sometimes they unexpectedly walk by a full length mirror at night and do not see their accustomed reflection. Rather, they see a parent reflected back at them. All of this seems new to them because they have unexpectedly observed themselves from a different perspective. Fredric Neuman, M.D. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fighting-fear/201212/mirrors-lie-the-fallibility-perception-and-memory

Admittedly, I am not completely comfortable ‘seeing’ myself in a mirror. When I go past just acknowledging my reflection and really look at myself, it appears the years showing exceed the number I have lived. I’m told I look younger than I am, but my reflection appears the reverse to me. My hair has thinned more than I really want to notice and I have a “belly”. My skin is changing texture and growing rougher. I see small veins showing on my ankles. Lines and creases are chiseled into my face.. It’s all okay though, or at least moving in that direction. With making myself see what is from a different perspective awareness is growing. And awareness is were accurate, and thereby, confidence begins.

My perception of my image in a mirror is slowly changing. By paying more attention and really seeing what is there, I am becoming able to look past what I regret and see what I have to be grateful about. Over and over its been proven to me what I find gratitude for becomes improved. And so it is with my sense about my appearance. Gratefulness is dew on a flower of life that makes it shine and sparkle.

Above all, don’t lie to yourself.
The man who lies to himself
and listens to his own lie
comes to a point that he cannot
distinguish the truth within him,
around him, and so loses
all respect for himself and for others.
And having no respect he ceases to love.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Am I Grateful?

embrace_life_with_gratitude_EDITAm I grateful?

…for the last time I had my heart-broken? It showed me how much I could love.

…for the last time I was injured and recovered? It showed me how crucial good health is.

…for the last time I tossed and turned, hardly sleeping all night? It showed me how vital a good night’s rest is.

…for the last time a friend and I recovered from a big disagreement? It showed me how love can heal if I want it to.

…for the last time someone cut in line in front of me? It showed me how to take the high road and keep my cool.

…for the last time I lost an item valuable to me. I was reminded of the temporary nature of my hold on all I possess.

…for the last time death took someone I loved? It showed me how life and loving are the essence of living.

…for the last time I did not get what I want? It showed me how sometimes not getting what I desire can be a blessing.

…for the last time my feelings were hurt? It showed me how valuable the ability to feel deeply is to living a good life.

…for the last time I failed? It showed me how doing my best is always a success no matter how things turn out.

…for the last time I was embarrassed? It showed me how human I am; perfectly imperfect.

…for the last time I lost my temper and was angry? It showed me how how regretful I feel after losing control emotionally.

…for the last time someone stole something of mine? It showed me how everything I own will someday be some else’s.

…for the last time I ran short of money too quickly? It showed me the need to manage what I have better.

…for the last time I said the wrong thing to someone? It showed me how to be more kind and caring to others.

…for the last time I got lost driving in a strange place? It showed me how being fallible is a natural part of the human condition.

YES! I am grateful for every dark cloud, big or small, that has taught me how to appreciate the sunshine all the more when it reappears.

If we never experience the chill of a dark winter,
it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish
the warmth of a bright summer’s day.
Nothing stimulates our appetite
for the simple joys of life more
than the starvation caused
by sadness or desperation.
In order to complete
our amazing life journey
successfully,
it is vital that we turn each
and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom,
and find the blessing in every curse.
Anthon St. Maarten

Let the Gratefulness Overflow

Happiness revealed Brother DavidYou think this is just another day in your life. It’s not just another day. It’s the one day that is given to you. To-day. It’s given to you. It’s a gift. It’s the only gift that you have right now and the only appropriate response is gratefulness. If you do nothing else but to cultivate that response to the great gift that this unique day is. If you learn to respond as if it were the first day in your life and the very last day, then you will have spent this day very well.

Begin by opening your eyes and be surprised that you have eyes you can open. That incredible array of colors that is constantly offered to us for our pure enjoyment. Look at the sky. We so rarely look at the sky. We so rarely note how different it is from moment to moment with clouds coming and going. We just think of the weather and even the weather we don’t think of all the many nuisances of weather. We just think of good weather and bad weather. This day, right now, is unique weather. Maybe a kind that will never exactly in that form come again. That formation of clouds in the sky will never be same that is right now.

Open your eyes. Look at that. Look at the faces of people whom you meet. Each one has an incredible story behind their face, a story that you could never fully fathom. Not only their own story but the story of their ancestors. We all go back so far and in this present moment on this day all the people you meet, all that life from generations and from so many places all over the world flows together and meets you here like a life-giving water if you only open your heart and drink.

Open your heart to that incredible gift that civilization gives to us. You flip a switch and there is electric light. You turn a faucet and there is warm water and cold water… and drinkable water. It’s a gift that millions and millions in the world will never experience.

These are just a few of an enormous number of gifts to which we can open your heart. and so I wish that you will open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you… that everyone you will meet at this day will be blessed by you.

Just by your own eyes, by your smile, by your touch, just by your presence. Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you. Then it will really be a good day.

Take from a piece of the film “Happiness Revealed” was originally shown at the http://www.TED.com conference on November 16, 2010 by notable film maker Louis Schwartzberg. What’s just above are comments included in that film segment spoken by Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast. Watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXDMoiEkyuQ

Having seen this film segment previously about two years ago in no way lessened the positive impact it had on me last night as I watched again. Transcribing Brother David’s comments kept me misty eyed all the way through. I am grateful for the warm and meaningfulness his words bring to my soul and am glad I still feel them this morning.

Beauty and seduction, I believe,
is nature’s tool for survival,
because we will protect
what we fall in love with.
Louie Schwartzberg

I would be grateful if you’d forward to a few friends
an installment of G.M.G. you find meaningful and help set a record
for readership for GoodMorningGratitude.com’s second birthday on April 25, 2013.
Thank you.

 

A Gratitude List

I would be grateful if you’d forward to a few friends
an installment of G.M.G. you find meaningful and help set a record
for readership for GoodMorningGratitude.com’s second birthday on April 25, 2013.
Thank you.

6349891801_055b29fb06_bA list of what quickly comes to mind that I am grateful for this morning:

A body that works well in spite of accumulated aches and pains; A home I love living in surrounded by a wealth of possessions; A few close friends I love dearly and who love me; An inquiring mind that wants to learn and know; A more than ample supply of food; A large library of music and something to listen to it on…

Two older cars that run well and are paid for; Being modestly financially secure; Good health that makes everything else more enjoyable; The hard times and heart aches that taught me so well; A working computer and internet access; My library of books large enough to keep me busy for the rest of my life…

A son I am proud of and am glad to have a close relationship with; Love given to me even when I did not always value it as I should have at the time; My professional success and those I worked with who made it possible; My kind heart, gentle ways and caring soul; Intelligence to look deeper, to seek, to ask questions…

The natural powers beyond me that make my world what it is; Spiritual belief that enhances everything; People I loved and lost, but still carry love for in my heart; The inspiration caused me to write this blog and continue it; The knowing the best of my life is still is in front of me; The works of nature all around that still astound me…

I dare you to jot down a gratitude list right now. There is absolutely NOTHING like making one to awaken a deeper level of happiness and contentment. For all on the list I could think of on the fly and the thousands of blessings that did not swiftly come to mind, I am thankful. The joy in my soul, the happiness in my heart, the mental contentment and every ounce of love and caring I have ever received are gifts sometimes I don’t feel fully deserving of, but embrace with gratefulness that overflows.

The very quality of your life,
whether you love it or hate it,
is based upon how thankful you are…
It is one’s attitude that determines
whether life unfolds into a place
of blessedness or wretchedness.
Francis Frangipane

Marked With Lines of Life

Happy_Old_ManAs I grow older and can see my golden years begin to appear on the distance horizon I pay more attention to “old people” (which I define as late 70’s or older). The reason is simple: to get a better idea what might be in store for me one day.

While it’s is a gross over generalization, there seems to be two distinct varieties of senior citizens. Group one leans toward being short-tempered, impatient, generally in a bad mood and visibly unhappy about life. Mostly it’s regret I see in their faces. Group two appears to be more or less opposite: patient, even-tempered, generally in a good mood and happy about being alive. It’s gladness I notice about them.

After watching closely for a couple of years I can find nothing discerning between the groups except their outlook. Health does not seem a major factor. Just about as many in failing health seem to be happy as those who appear miserable. Financial status appears to not be a dividing line either. Those appearing poor or rich come in both varieties in about the same number.

Attitude seems to be the difference. The “glasses” life is being viewed through is the key.

When stereotypes are negative — when seniors are convinced becoming old means becoming useless, helpless or devalued — they are less likely to seek preventive medical care and die earlier, and more likely to suffer memory loss and poor physical functioning, a growing body of research shows.

When stereotypes are positive — when older adults view age as a time of wisdom, self-realization and satisfaction — results point in the other direction, toward a higher level of functioning. The latest report, in The Journal of the American Medical Association, suggests that seniors with this positive bias are 44 percent more likely to fully recover from a bout of disability. http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/19/older-people-are-what-they-think-study-shows/

Happiness in old age may have more to do with attitude than actual health, a new study suggests. Researchers examined 500 Americans age 60 to 98 who live independently and had dealt with cancer, heart disease, diabetes, mental health conditions or a range of other problems. The participants rated their own degree of successful aging on scale of 1-10, with 10 being best. Despite their ills, the average rating was 8.4. http://www.livescience.com/3974-happiness-age-depends-attitude.html

How glad I am to have begun this blog nearly two years ago! More than any single thing in memory, writing each day has given me a much better attitude about life: one with good quantities of gratitude and contentment. Outwardly my life has changed some, though not that much. What is different is ME from the inside, out. Growing gratitude within is my single best ingredient for aging gratefully and enjoying growing older. Old age has unique perks that being young never allows!

Your face is marked with lines of life,
put there by love and laughter,
suffering and tears. It’s beautiful.”
Lynsay Sands

Scrubbed Clean

ancient_forest_by_robinhalioua-d5qhc26The sort of morning that appeared last Thursday was one where the air had been scrubbed clean by the rain of the day before. The sky was more blue; the light of the sun more crystal-like. The distant horizon seemed father away than usual because of the clarity everything appeared with. It was a morning where Nature demanded Her beauty be noticed and I willingly acquiesced to Her desire. I felt gratitude for the gift of the morning and an uncommon humility created by noticing what I saw.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.” I swear its true. My sense of things the first fifteen minutes after I rise is a relatively accurate predictor of how I will feel through my day. Beginning with a sense of gratitude has multiplied my joy of living at least ten-fold. From “The Blank Book” by Lemony Snicket

It was my mantra that “I was not a morning person” for most of my life. My preference was to be a creature of the night staying up as late as I could and yet still function decently well the following day. Now it’s easy to see I spent most of my days sleep deprived and the effect of it was not a positive thing. And more so, it’s clear now I was never a “night person” and rather only a creature of habit.

Have you ever seen the dawn? Not a dawn groggy with lack of sleep or hectic with mindless obligations and you about to rush off on an early adventure or business, but full of deep silence and absolute clarity of perception? A dawning which you truly observe, degree by degree. It is the most amazing moment of birth. And more than anything it can spur you to action. Have a burning day. Vera Nazarian

There are fewer people paying attention to a day’s beginning than any other part of the time the sun is up. The number of folks who notice and even celebrate sunsets are numerous. Those paying attention to sunrise are far less in numbers. In that line of thought I realize early morning is more personally mine that any other part of daylight.

Since reading “Walden” as a kid I have held Henry David Thoreau close in heart and mind as a personal hero. First, because he chose to dance to the beat of his own drummer and follow his heart, no matter what others thought. Second, because he became close friends with some of the deepest underpinnings of life. He saw things most of us hardly notice although at this point in my life I am awakening, even if just a little, to the small machinery of life all around me that Thoreau came to know so well.

Morning brings back the heroic ages. There was something cosmical about it; a standing advertisement, till forbidden, of the everlasting vigor and fertility of the world. The morning, which is the most memorable season of the day, is the awakening hour. Then there is least somnolence in us; and for an hour, at least, some part of us awakes which slumbers all the rest of the day and night. Henry David Thoreau

As something of a “grownup” I have lived long enough to notice, many only at mid-morning, some 17,000 new days. Fate willing, I should have at least another 7,000 left to enjoy. With great gratitude and thankfulness, I assure you that each one will mean a little more than the day before.

When you arise in the morning,
think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive;
to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
Marcus Aurelius

What I Think, I Become

Sun_after_rain_by_Ritsuka_kawaiMy life is living proof that changing the focus of thoughts can change a life. Worry and compulsion used to be stirred into my thinking most of the time which kept me constantly dealing with a brooding outlook on life. While not immune to feeling such things today, my ‘habit’, even addiction if you will, to negative thinking is no longer.

Buddha said it succinctly, “The mind is everything. What you think you become”.

For me it is all about what I pay attention to. If I keep “pulling the scabs” off the past, wounds never heal. If I spend too much time lamenting about how the future will turn out, what I hope for never arrives because my thinking crowds out its possibility.

Controlling my thoughts fully is impossible. Certainly I slip into old ways of thinking regularly, but usually catch myself before being there for long. At first, breaking my habit/addiction to negative thinking was damned hard; I was hooked on feeling bad. Success at reflecting away some of my thoughts would come for only a short while before slipping back into thoughts of fear, doom and gloom. I kept trying and slowly my success grew at not getting stuck.

If we tune-in on thoughts of failure, illness, discouragement, despair and hate, the charts of our lives will take a sharp downward course.

If we tune-in on thoughts of victory, love, hope and faith, our lives will become larger, finer, more worth while.

If we tune-in on the surface things that break like bubbles and leave us nothing, our lives will be shallow and empty.

If we tune-in on the deeper things, eternal principles of plain living and high thinking, the riches which men have put into immortal literature, art and music, then entire personalities will grow and expand.

If we permit ourselves to become selfish and cold toward others, the springs of love and sentiment will dry up leaving us but the husks of life.

If, on the other hand, we are kind and thoughtful and considerate of others; if we strive always to pluck a thorn and plant a flower wherever we think a flower will grow, riches more valuable than much fine gold will enter our lives.

Saint and sinner, prince and pauper, the things men tune-in on become a part of them and make them what they are. By Lilly Ames-Light

Ups and downs are just as much a part of my life as for anyone else, but my mood swings don’t tear me down anymore. Just like rain only lasts for a time, dark days and dark thoughts pass away as well. When comparing life to 15 years ago, I have friends who refer to me as the “old one” and the “new one”. My evolution has been that pronounced. I am grateful!

Rules for Self Discovery:
1. What we want most;
2. What we think about most;
3. How we use our money;
4. What we do with our leisure time;
5. The company we enjoy;
6. Who and what we admire;
7. What we laugh at.
A.W. Tozer

Because I Will Make It So

488273_471885792884874_632342651_nThere is a vitality,
a life force,
a quickening
that is translated through you into action,
and there is only one of you in all time,
this expression is unique,
and if you block it,
it will never exist through any other medium;
and be lost. The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is,
not how it compares with other expression.
is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly,
to keep the channel open.
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep open and aware directly
to the urges that motivate you.
Keep the channel open.
No artist is pleased.
There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
a blessed unrest that keeps us marching
and makes us more alive than the others.
Martha Graham

Another new day; another gift I will not take for granted. Whatever there is for me to paint and sculpt out of this little piece of the hard rock of life, I will be grateful for it all. Every breath will have a silver lining of joy. Why? Because I will make it so.

Make your choice, adventurous Stranger,
Strike the bell and bide the danger,
Or wonder, till it drives you mad,
What would have followed if you had.
C.S. Lewis

Greet Yourself Arriving

see myself arrivingLived in thirteen states and a foreign country.
Two marriages and numerous failed relationships.
Lots of jobs. Work, work, work.
Learned to fly. Bought an airplane.
Became a professional photographer.
Success and money.
Accomplishment created more emptiness
Often learned little from failure.
Going and going not getting anywhere.
Never satisfied. Always wanting more.
… et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…

When first looking at that list of ten things it does not seem like such a short inventory should take up as much space as they have during the last thirty years. Of course there was more, but in majority those ten things are where I spent most of my time. Searching and searching but not knowing exactly what I was searching for.. Then a few years ago my focus began to be clearer. Slowly, so painfully slow, a form took shape. I was surprised  when I finally saw what I had been searching for. It was me…. I had been looking outside myself for what was inside all along

“Love After Love”

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Derek Walcott

Uncomplicated and plainly said; today I am grateful for “me”.

Whether I fail or succeed
shall be no man’s doing but my own.
I am the force.
Elaine Maxwell

13 Rules

landscapes%20sun%20trees%20farms%202560x1600%20wallpaper_wallpaperswa_com_8813 Rules of Life

    1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
    2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.
    3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are, “I apologize” and “you are right.”
    4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
    6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her – believe them.
    7. Learn to pick your battles; Ask yourself, “Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?”
    8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
    9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
    10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
    11. Work is good, but it’s not that important. Money is nice, but you can’t take it, or anything else, with you. Statistics show most people don’t live to spend all they saved; Some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn’t really ours; we just borrow it while we’re here… even our kids.
    12. Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
    13. If you are going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you may as well laugh about it now.
      http://www.greaterhorizons.com/13rulesoflife.html

The manner the “13 Rules…” was written is amusing and hangs a smile on some good “old-fashioned” advise. I have printed out two copies, one for home and another for work, and will hang them up plain sight.  There’s nothing new in the list of rules. I am not asked to do many things I don’t already know. It’s the doing of what I already know that makes the difference. I am grateful to be reminded!

Some people drift through their entire life.
They do it one day at a time,
one week at a time, one month at a time.
It happens so gradually they are unaware
of how their lives are slipping away until it’s too late.
Mary Kay Ash