Back around Christmas I read about Cheetah, the chimpanzee thought by many to be Tarzan’s movie sidekick, had died.  He was 80 years old!  The story goes that this particular chimp was Johnny Weissmuller’s comic relief in a bunch of old Tarzan movies.  Some say this specific chimpanzee while owned by Weissmuller was never actually in any of his movies.  Others say the recently deceased was the “real Cheetah”. 

All those old Tarzan movies were rerun often on TV during my growing up years and I loved them. The films were decades “old” before I saw any of them for the first time and were in constant reruns on the tube  As an adult realizing how hokey those old B&W Tarzan movies were is clear, but as a kid they were spellbinding and heart pounding adventures. 

The famous Tarzan yell everyone knows actually was done by Johnny Weissmuller, the most famous of those to play the Lord of the Apes.  No one was ever able to duplicate Weissmuller’s call to the wild which is why it was used for other actors in many Tarzan movies.

In reading about the demise of Cheetah, it led me to some material about the life of Johnny Weissmuller.  As a champion swimmer, he won five Olympic gold medals and a Bronze.  He was victorious at fifty-two US National Championships and set sixty-seven world records.  Then he became a movie star with a face recognized around the world.  You’d think all that would have set him up for life.    

Weissmuller was married five times and seemed to have a penchant for making bad choices.  He repeatedly put his money into endeavors that never panned out.  Things were bad enough that as an old man in the 1970’s he worked as a “greeter” at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas.  How sad to learn that a famous childhood hero of mine had to do something like that to provide for himself.   But a man does what he has to do.

No matter how much a person schemes and plans there is no certainty that he or she won’t someday lose nearly everything long before death takes it all.  Stories of one year rich, the next year a beggar are commonplace.  Rooted in growing up poor, I have a higher than average fear of “losing it all” to the point my apprehension defies logic. 

While my family had little when I was growing up, a lot of people had less.  Destitute old people were not uncommon sights then.  If not for family taking them in and providing care I don’t know what would have happened to those elders.   There is a distinct thread of dread in me about ending up old like that or on the street with nothing.  While the strength I sense the discomfort with is illogical, the feeling remains real to me just the same.  

Life has taught always playing it safe does not work.  It does nothing to insulate me from my mild phobia of having nothing.  There have been a lot of acceptable risks taken in my life and a good number have paid off.  So logic tells me I can lose it all and rebuild again enough to support and take care of myself assuming I still have good health. Fear does not easily submit to reason.  Need be, you will find me as a “greeter” like the man who was Tarzan to me.

Damn! That is thinking like an “old person” and I am not one of those… yet!  I have always been and will always be a risk taker.  Few times was a chance ever taken when being somewhat afraid was not present.  I was able to move forward in spite of fear then and will do so now as well.

My late middle years have arrived and old age is less faintly visible on the not so distant horizon.  In spite of my anxiety about not having enough money or losing good health at too young of an age, I am highly hopeful for the full and long ride of life.  There is a lot of optimism that I will live to experience the greatest mystery of all: old age. 

My gratitude is large to be alive today.  Outliving my father was a milestone accomplished last year.  There is deep thankfulness to have the amount of love present in my life:  of family, of friends, of loved ones and of a special woman.  All research points to loving and being loved as one of the necessary ingredients for a long life.  In that regard I am in great shape!

There is so much in my hopes to yet accomplish.  For example:  Peace Corps someday?  Probably.  Living in a foreign country again?  Likely.  Hiking the Inca trail?  Not sure about that one.  Publish a book?  You can bet on that one.  Visit the two states I have yet to set foot in?  Yes!   Growing gracefully old?  Absolutely and with immense gratitude.

My thankfulness is wide, deep and sincere for the richness bestowed on me.  As long as I am alive, life is filled with possibility. 

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.  Mark Twain