While searching for something completely unrelated on the net this morning I came across a short piece about alchemists of myth and legend.  Among other points in the article was this definition of alchemy:  any magical power or process of transmuting a common substance, usually of little value, into a substance of great value. 

Reading the definition of alchemy reminded me of a story I had read, but could not remember its source off the top of my head.  After flipping through my books for a while I eventually found the fable where I had originally seen it in Melody Beattie’s book “The Lessons of Love”: 

In a mysterious land, not so far away, and in a time not that long ago, word spread of a man called the Alchemist.  In his presence, things transformed.  He could, some said, turn a single dry bone of a deer into a green forest, alive with rushing water, wind, sunshine, grass and a gentle doe nuzzling her fawn.  He could turn pain, tragedy, agony – spiritual voids and the angst of the worst kind – into laughter, healing, and a joy so gentle yet deep that it rocked the soul.  And hope the purest, sweetest gift of all.   He could turn the basest metal into gold. 

One day, having heard of his magic, an angry young man pounded on the Alchemist’s door, demanding that his ore be turned into gold.  “Why?” asked the Alchemist.  “I need money to pay bills.  Now hurry!” the young man huffed.  The Alchemist turned him away.

 A second time the young man returned, again demanding gold.  Asked why, he sputtered, “Why must you even ask?”  Again his request was denied. 

On this third visit, the young man knocked more gently.  “Please don’t turn me away,” he said, “I need gold to but a ring, a gift for my beloved.”  This time, his wish was granted. 

The message I get from the teaching tale is: any change I desire within myself can come only when my heart is humble and my mind is aligned with it in truth and honesty.  Certainly that speaks volumes about my life and why it was one way for so long.  Then in a matter of months living began to earnestly change to be now be so very different and much improved.  

“When the pain to stay the same, exceeds the pain to change, we change” is a saying dear to me found on a bulletin board about four years ago.  About that time, with lots of help and support, I was able to practice my own kind of “alchemy”.  Within I began to be changed from being driven by the baser of my desires to a man who more closely paralleled all, not just most of, the ideals I held true.

The point expressed more simply is, in regard to relationships, I began to not be so much of who I had been and started instead to be more of person I wanted to be.  My actions began to match my beliefs, not just some of the time but nearly all of the time.  I became an alchemist of my own desires and needs by applying potions of understanding, knowledge and help from others.  My “lead” became “gold”. 

With most any part of  my life I can apply a sort of ‘alchemy’ that can transmute what “is” into a substance of greater value.  Whether it is health, weight, spiritual lack, knowledge shortfall, emotional state, engrained habit or strong tendency, I have the power to change “is” into something of greater value.  The great weakness of my the past was not believing the power was inside to change my life.  

Much of my life was spent thinking I needed something outside of me, like an Alchemist of the fable, to make real changes my life.  In vain I tried many external things that did not work:  moving to different places, changing significant others, making new friends, new jobs, taking on demanding hobbies, consuming interests and even anesthetizing myself with money and what it can buy.  None worked.  Only when I was truly ready to face myself, ask for assistance and do the work inside could the “base metal” of dysfunction begin to be turned to gold.  

I am grateful to know the art of personal alchemy today.  All it took was a beginning and a first step which centered on “if it is to be, it is up to me”.   No matter how much help was offered and available, my new start had to originate internally.  From the pain that was, a joy to be alive has grown.  I am abundantly thankful. 

We would rather be ruined than changed,
We would rather die in our dread
Than climb the cross of the moment
And let our illusions die.
W. H. Auden