Come Home to Now

Do you find excessive love in your life?
Is there too much tenderness?
Do you have an over abundance of gentleness in your life?
Is there a surplus of luck?
Do you live with an excess of joy in your life?
Is there too much understanding?
Do things go your way too often in your life?
Is there excessive winning for you?
Do you have too much peace in your life?
Is there far more time than you need?
Do you have way too much money in your life?
Is there truth beyond what you desire?
Are you often left to feel too lonely?
Is there not as much love as you’d like in your life?
Do you wish there was more joy?
Is there a shortage of tenderness in your life?
Do you wish things would go your way more often?
Is there a yearning for more peace in your life?
Do you aspire for more money?
Is there a longing for more time in your life?
Do you ache for additional gentleness?
Is there a desire to win more in your life?
Do you need more happiness?
Is there too little truth in your life?

………… Such constant spinning of the mind creates the storm of uncertainty and unhappiness most live within.

It is the human condition to reach for more of what we have or desire to fill in the lack’s we perceive.  The world is viewed largely through a vision of what is wrong far more than what is good.  We constantly ponder what we question or have incomplete concepts of.  The primal brain of thousands of years ago which kept our ancestors safe in the bush by constantly questioning and looking for “what was wrong or not right” does not serve us so well today.

By realizing I am wired to find fault far too easily and to miss much of what is good I can improve my life experience greatly.  The wondering “what if”; the excessive desiring, hoping, yearning, longing, hankering, carving, needing, aspiring, aching, hungering, and wanting all conspired within me to be the dysfunction I lived with for so a long while.  But no more do I live this way, at least not all the time.

Mindfulness has changed my life experience greatly.  I have come to know everything changes. Everything is impermanent. It was my past attempts to attach myself to impermanent things, and gain happiness thereby, that guaranteed and perpetuated my suffering.  My insight today is only “this moment” is real.  When I find my self wanting and wondering I try to come “home” to “now”.

The life being experienced as I write at this exact moment is a rare, precious opportunity to choose to return to the roots of my being, avoid reactivity, and promote clarity, kindness, and compassion.  And within I am able to share myself here just as I feel at the moment.  I may be different an hour from now, but just “now” this is what is within me.  As an imperfect human I will never always succeed in my attempts to be fully present, but the very attempt always makes me a success.

My view of what “is” can only become clear when my momentary existence is centered in the “now”.  My attempts to live in the present do not currently, and probably will not ever, make up the majority of my life being lived in the “present”.  As an imperfect human I will always be imperfect in my attempts to be fully present, but the very attempt always makes me a success. I am grateful to know that just this little bit of effort makes for a better life.

What is the mind? It is the past, the memory, the accumulated experience. But the moment you have experienced the thing, it is dead. Experiencing is in the present, experience is in the past.  Osho