In recent times I made a remark similar to “when it comes to relationships I think I am up to about age 16 now”. In the majority of settings of my life I am a mature and successful man, but in affairs of the heart I am just now starting to get the hang of it. Hang of what? Answer: ingredients that a make up a good relationship with a woman.
The following comes from an on line article titled “Differences Between Men and Women” at http://www.relationship-institute.com/freearticles_detail.cfm?article_ID=151
- Women value love, communication, beauty and relationships.
- A woman’s sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships. They spend much time supporting, nurturing and helping each other. They experience fulfillment through sharing and relating.
- Personal expression, in clothes and feelings, is very important. Communication is important. Talking, sharing and relating are how a woman feels good about herself.
- For women, offering help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength; it is a sign of caring to give support.
- Women are very concerned about issues relating to physical attractiveness; changes in this area can be as difficult for women as changes in a man’s financial status.
- When men are preoccupied with work or money, women interpret it as rejection.
- A man’s sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results, through success and accomplishment. Achieve goals and prove his competence and feel good about him self.
- For men, doing things by themselves is a symbol of efficiency, power and competence.
- In general, men are more interested in objects and things rather than people and feelings.
- Men rarely talk about their problems unless they are seeking “expert” advice; asking for help when you can do something yourself is a sign of weakness.
- Men are more aggressive than women; more combative and territorial.
- Men’s self esteem is more career-related.
- Men feel devastated by failure and financial setbacks; they tend to obsess about money much more than women
- Men hate to ask for information because it shows they are a failure.
At a glance it appears women may got the better end of that deal! In a general sense all that is listed rings with at least some truth for me.
I far from a person who can offer lots of sage wisdom about relationships based on successful experience, but one thing I have learned for certain: Generally, women want to be listened to and men are frequently terrible listeners. Women often don’t tell a man a problem to try to get a man to fix it. Whether in a relationship or in the working environment often a women just wants a man to hear what she has got to say. Advice and help will get asked for if she wants needs it. It took me a long time to understand I was not expected to always offer advice and possible solutions. All I needed to do was pay attention and listen. Seems so simple. (It is! Just do it!)
As has been hinted at in days past I have begun a relationship that I have much hope for. The pace is slow and unhurried as we simply enjoy each other’s company and come to know one other. I am thankful to not feel rushed or in a hurry and to feel like a hopeful teenage again. Getting to know someone slowly is something I am enjoying a great deal. It’s been months now and my life feels a little richer these days… I am very grateful!
Take a chance and never let go.
Risk everything… lose nothing.
Don’t worry about anything anymore.
Cry in the rain and speak up loud.
Say what you want and love who you want.
Be yourself and not what people want to see
Never blame anyone if you get hurt
Because you took the risk and you decided
Who was worth the while.