A small girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father asked his little daughter Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river. The little girl said No, Dad. You hold my hand.
What’s the difference? Asked the puzzled father. There’s a big difference, replied the little girl. If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.“
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold yours.
Definition of trust: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, integrity or truth of someone or something.
It is not uncommon for a person to emotionally love another, but not trust him or her. Just as often one may trust another but not emotionally love him or her. To trust someone I have to believe they have my best interest at heart and would not hesitate to put consideration of me in front of them self. Without doubt or hesitation I can rely on him or her.
While the beginning of trust may be given freely, it is earned over time by consistency. To be trusted, I must show another person I will not use them or take advantage of them. I won’t abuse their love or generosity. I will think of him or her before acting.
Re-earning a person’s trust is done in the same way, but is far more difficult. Once trust has been violated it may not be as fully possible as it once was. It may not be achievable again at all! If it is re-established, the rebuilding of trust takes a much longer period of time and may never achieve the strength that was once shared.
Each of us is different as to how early we can trust another. Some have been seriously hurt previously and hesitate to trust again. Other people can be very “trusting” even toward those who do not deserve their trust. No matter the individual, you earn and re-earn people’s trusts through reliance on the consistency of character. Each of us proves over time we are trustworthy or not by what we do.
The universal truth is if I have broken another’s trust, I have NO RIGHT to expect anything from the other person, especially trust. I should not hold it against someone if they find they can not trust me again. It is their right to protect them self from me or anything they perceive might hurt them again. Even if a person I’ve hurt badly allows an opportunity to rebuild it will take huge amounts of perseverance and consistent proof to prove myself worthy. In such as instance I must remember I am being given a chance I actually do not deserve.
Violating another’s trust not only hurts them, I damage me as well. Learning to trust my self is difficult, but the only way to heal my own wounds caused by my own untrustworthiness. Being true to my self is a large part of the ability to be trustworthy to others.
I am grateful for those who trust me and to deserve their trust. There is much thankfulness for those whose trust I violated who have allowed me the chance to rebuild being trustworthy. For those I proved myself unworthy of their trust, I respect the need to protect yourself and not trust me again.
Belief is Doubtful, Trust is Certain
Belief is from Mind, Trust is from Heart
Belief is Ordinary; Trust is Extra-ordinary
Belief is Limited; Trust is infinite
Belief is Partial; Trust is Complete
Belief is Important; Trust is Essential
Believe many; Trust only a Few
From “Belief vs. Trust” by Gan Chennai