I have loved. I have been loved.
I have been hurt. I have hurt others.
I have married. I have divorced.
I have cried over another. I know another cried over me.
I have been happy. I have been unhappy.
I have been alone and lonely. I have been lonely with someone.
I have made mistakes. I have done the right thing.
I have felt joy. I have felt sadness.
I have closed my heart. I have opened my heart.
I want to love again.
Ultimately experience is the only first hand truth possible. On no subject is that more true than on the subject of love between a man and a woman. Maybe those who grow up in a “normal” (whatever that is) household and family are presented with good examples of what love between a man and woman is. Maybe they know how to embrace love and keep it healthy from the environment they grew up in. That is not the example I had.
Through trial and error, making many mistakes, hurting women and being hurt by them have I learned what I know today. Each painful experience had good parts to learn from and bad times that often taught me even more. Love is not fragile within itself, but ill-matched or un-nurtured it becomes weak and easily breakable.
I wrote in a previous post titled “Well Wishes From Youth” http://goodmorninggratitude.com/2011/05/17/wishes-from-youth/ “…People do disappoint each other, love does not always grow and sometimes growth means growing apart. Such happenings do not have to paint what unfolded as “bad”. Rather I prefer to think of such occurrences as “Good” that just turn out different than expected…”
What is just below was written by a man who identified himself only as “Steven” when he posted it on justrealm.com on September 21, 2010. He describes much of my experiences and ends with how I hope to again feel again one day.
Sometimes it takes adverse conditions
For people to reach out to one another.
Sometimes it takes bad luck
For people to understand their goals better.
Sometimes it takes being hurt
For people to be more sensitive to feelings.
Sometimes it takes doubt
For people to trust one another.
Sometimes it takes seclusion
For people to find out who they really are.
Sometimes it takes disillusionment
For people to become informed.
Sometimes it takes feeling nothing
For people to feel everything.
Sometimes it takes our emotions and our feelings to be completely penetrated
For people to open up to love.
I have gone through many of these things
And I now know that
Not only am I ready to
But I do.
I am grateful to have felt love and to have been loved. There is within not only gratitude for the joy but also the pain which has often been the superior teacher. I am thankful for the education that experience has taught me in matters of the heart. Now, I am ready to love again.
Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones. Mignon McLaughlin